I know it will work out somehow, but i'm still worried.
I am teetering over the edge of complete insanity. I am inches away from falling, but still have a thread or two left holding me back. I need to vent, and I figure that nobody reads this anyway, so here goes.
#1. School
How to even begin, I'm not so sure. I guess the positive thing about this semester is that I will be starting over at Roosevelt University, which will hopefully be what I was looking for.
Sidenote: After I decided to transfer out of Luther, I said I would do a more extensive college search. I never did. I guess my options were rather limited, in that I wanted to stay home. My two most plausable options were Elmhurst College and Roosevelt University. However, the idea of a long commute to Elmhurst (and yes, over half an hour is long for me..) and the ungodly tuition cost sort of led me more in the direction of Roosevelt.
Honestly, I had never, and still have not seen the campus in much detail. I chose rather impulsively after 2 semesters at Harper left me with barely any credits, or anything that I even needed to put toward my degree. However, I have heard good things, and know a lot of teachers that went to Roosevelt to get their masters. That must count for something, right?
Anyway. Moral of the story, is that I can move on and make my way to graduation and *gasp* my MAJOR CLASSES. Finally!
Yet, as my now "Zen" ex-boyfriend puts it, "There can be no yin without a yan". There are lots of issues in relation to the cost of my education. I applied too late to get any kind of federal aid for school for the Spring Semester, leaving my family with a total of 8,300 dollars to pay by May 15th, 2009. I am on a payment plan for the next four months to pay off my tuition cost, and my dad, who was supposed to have put away 50 THOUSANd dollars (from when my mom refinanced our house and bought my dad out) away for my education, suddenly has no money to offer me.
My worst fear is that he invested that 50K in the stock market, hoping to make money on it to add to his retirement fund (since he has no 401K). And with the market being absolute shit, all that money could be gone. My other fear is that he stupidly spent it on a large wedding, honeymoon, and engagement ring. I would love to think that the later possibility is untrue, but I honestly don't know what to think about the man's judgement anymore..
My mom is going to confront him on that missing 50 grand issue soon, and I can't wait to get to the bottom of it. She assured me that everything will be okay, and I do believe her. I know my family has money and can help if need be, but I shouldn't have to ask my retired grandparents for money, ever. My dad lives in a lavish house in Woodstock with a four car garage and a home gym. There is no way he cannot afford to help his biological daughter with school. Emphasis on biological and daughter. I guess there's something in the remarried father handbook that says it's alright to put your step children before your own.
#2. Work
Not a lengthy explanation here. And besides, I was expecting it. Hours being cut drasticly, resulting in just barely enough money to keep gas in my car. Ugh. Maybe I should donate my body to science.
#3. Non-existant love life.
Nothing ever seems to work out. I have a third grade crush on a boy who either likes me or doesn't. I can't read him anymore. I need something to happen so I can stop agonizing over it already. It would just be nice to have a relationship with someone. Casually dating and picking through duds isn't too appealing at this point.
I wanted to start of 2009 feeling better about everything. Or, at least keeping everything in control to the point where I could relax and know that I've done all I can do to make things work. Getting away to Tennessee for 5 days was a nice escape, but I came right back to complete chaos, just as I had left it. I need to take control over things that I can fix myself.
Spiritually, I believe that everything does happen for a reason, and I wouldn't be given anything that I couldn't handle. I know it will work out in time, I just need to vent somewhere. I know it sounds suprising, but not everyone likes lending an ear to a stressed out 20 year old who's main concerns are promisory notes, divorce decrees, and 401K's.
Who would have thought?
It is time for bed.
#1. School
How to even begin, I'm not so sure. I guess the positive thing about this semester is that I will be starting over at Roosevelt University, which will hopefully be what I was looking for.
Sidenote: After I decided to transfer out of Luther, I said I would do a more extensive college search. I never did. I guess my options were rather limited, in that I wanted to stay home. My two most plausable options were Elmhurst College and Roosevelt University. However, the idea of a long commute to Elmhurst (and yes, over half an hour is long for me..) and the ungodly tuition cost sort of led me more in the direction of Roosevelt.
Honestly, I had never, and still have not seen the campus in much detail. I chose rather impulsively after 2 semesters at Harper left me with barely any credits, or anything that I even needed to put toward my degree. However, I have heard good things, and know a lot of teachers that went to Roosevelt to get their masters. That must count for something, right?
Anyway. Moral of the story, is that I can move on and make my way to graduation and *gasp* my MAJOR CLASSES. Finally!
Yet, as my now "Zen" ex-boyfriend puts it, "There can be no yin without a yan". There are lots of issues in relation to the cost of my education. I applied too late to get any kind of federal aid for school for the Spring Semester, leaving my family with a total of 8,300 dollars to pay by May 15th, 2009. I am on a payment plan for the next four months to pay off my tuition cost, and my dad, who was supposed to have put away 50 THOUSANd dollars (from when my mom refinanced our house and bought my dad out) away for my education, suddenly has no money to offer me.
My worst fear is that he invested that 50K in the stock market, hoping to make money on it to add to his retirement fund (since he has no 401K). And with the market being absolute shit, all that money could be gone. My other fear is that he stupidly spent it on a large wedding, honeymoon, and engagement ring. I would love to think that the later possibility is untrue, but I honestly don't know what to think about the man's judgement anymore..
My mom is going to confront him on that missing 50 grand issue soon, and I can't wait to get to the bottom of it. She assured me that everything will be okay, and I do believe her. I know my family has money and can help if need be, but I shouldn't have to ask my retired grandparents for money, ever. My dad lives in a lavish house in Woodstock with a four car garage and a home gym. There is no way he cannot afford to help his biological daughter with school. Emphasis on biological and daughter. I guess there's something in the remarried father handbook that says it's alright to put your step children before your own.
#2. Work
Not a lengthy explanation here. And besides, I was expecting it. Hours being cut drasticly, resulting in just barely enough money to keep gas in my car. Ugh. Maybe I should donate my body to science.
#3. Non-existant love life.
Nothing ever seems to work out. I have a third grade crush on a boy who either likes me or doesn't. I can't read him anymore. I need something to happen so I can stop agonizing over it already. It would just be nice to have a relationship with someone. Casually dating and picking through duds isn't too appealing at this point.
I wanted to start of 2009 feeling better about everything. Or, at least keeping everything in control to the point where I could relax and know that I've done all I can do to make things work. Getting away to Tennessee for 5 days was a nice escape, but I came right back to complete chaos, just as I had left it. I need to take control over things that I can fix myself.
Spiritually, I believe that everything does happen for a reason, and I wouldn't be given anything that I couldn't handle. I know it will work out in time, I just need to vent somewhere. I know it sounds suprising, but not everyone likes lending an ear to a stressed out 20 year old who's main concerns are promisory notes, divorce decrees, and 401K's.
Who would have thought?
It is time for bed.