Self
In English class today, we were asked to tell when we are most really we, or when we are truly ourselves. Sadly enough, the question puzzled me, though I doubt it should've.
Being myself isn't something I've done lately. It's not anything anybody's done lately.
We change our moods, our attitudes to each situation we're in, adapting when we don't even mean to. I suppose I'm really myself when some dumb fuck-head wakes me up at 3 AM in the morning by calling the dorm hall phone, but even then, I'm supposed to be angry. It's the so-called natural reaction to the situation, so I'm not even sure if I am angry, or I just think I am.
I think the last time I was myself was maybe the second I was born, before I learnt that crying got me milk, happy squeals made big people laugh, and so on and so on until 17 years later, we have a set of reactions which inhibit one's ability to be yourself.
Oh, don't get me wrong, we can be honest about the way we react to things, but that doesn't mean we aren't going to not react like that.
The only time I am myself is when I'm dealing with a completely new experiance, or when no reaction is necessary.
...
*sighs* But now our teacher is telling us to move on, so move on I must.