who knows
I dont know y im updating i guess im just bored... i dont understand myself.. how can i get myself so hoocked ona guy i know doesnt like me and i have no chance with i have no idea this is pathetic i always fall for guys that dont want me (or in this case have fallen many times for the same guy) it rediculous and i think its raelly starting to get to me. i am really starting to get depressed not becasue i dont have a boyfriend. but just with everything that has been happening around me.. i go to school work my hardest as i can then go and babysit so i can get money to do shit then i come home and i have to clean and do shit around my house cuz my mom is sick and its just all getting to me.. i mean i just have been keeping alot inside latley and i i dotn think its really healthy..i mean i talk to hill and eveything but she has been having problems to latley and i dont want to like i dont know what im saying this is rediculous i am rediculous.. just once i would love for things to go my way to have something good come my way but no i always work to please eveyone and you know what it gets me nothing it gets me absoultly nothing i work so hard in school to go to a good college but i dont know y i care im not going to be able to afford it then i work to just get money and all of a sudden its just gone cuz everything is so god damn expensive... i mean you know when i feel at home? yeah i dont know either.. i know i am complaining and all but i just need something and its just not happening and im really afrid that soon im gonna break down and noe ones gonna care you know y cuz i dont really have ne one that would notice around here.. i do so much for people and i fell like they just are like ok and just keep going.. whatever right now im going to try my hrdest not to care about ne thing i know this isnt going to happen but i can at least pretend thats what i do half the time rightnow ne ways.. and if you acctually read this wow your a good person to listen to me complain and vent..