Also, I think I'm getting used to the idea of hating someone that I will like forever. That feels better than thinking I'll be progressive and cut people out of my life. Just gotta not take it (that is everything) personally.
you know how many dudes i have both hated and liked at the same time? shit took a loooooong ass time to get over/rid of and looking back i feel a damn fool for having wasted so much time feeling at all. holding out really holds you back. but um....not holding out doesn't. ta da!
it's weird. In order to take it with ease I have to act like the very thing that pisses me off about him. I have to be flippant an carefree about everything. Being a dick can really make you feel good.
oh, yeah - being an asshole can be a great deal of fun and rather effective. but i don't think i'm very good at it, and i could probably stand to be a bit more of an ass right now. i dunno. i guess maybe i'll work on it.
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