(no subject)
word,
have you ever felt like your best isn't good enough? like no matter what you give you feel like you could give more, and if so how much deeper can you dig? if you question what a 100% is does that mean that you aren't giving it? sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to perfporm to my fullest, like people hold me back and keep me down. in a full 24 do I just keep going or sleep? do I take down time or push? sometimes I don't know the answers to these questions. sometimes I feel like I need a constant in my corner telling me how to win. I believe that the people I trust, the guys in my corner, give me good advice, but are they just saying things to make me feel better or giving me the truth. sometimes i question weather they know the answers themselves. what matters to me is supposed to matter most, but what matters to me is making a difference even in the smallest way each day to the people I care about. how do seperate the crap from what is truly important?
something different all together in an effort to save time... I know that I post this a lot but sleep is my true enemy. when I try to find sleep at a respectfull hour I am left wanting and see it as a waste of time, but if I get up then I have accomplished nothing in an endless battle. it's nerve racking. I'm tired right now and when this post is through I will brush my teeth, drink some water and lie down. but after countless wars with my pillow I can only assume that sleep will evade me untill the damage has been done. I have gone, between work and errands, 20 to 24 hrs without sleep time and again only to find myself lying in bed awake with sleep, solid restfull sleep, no where in sight. when the bell rings in the morning my head my brain will shout and scream for me to rise an accomplish something, make my difference, but my body is dead weight and refuses to move. quasi moto could ring his bells a foot from where I rest and it will prove futile. if anyone, I can't stress anyone enough in this statement, has any good advice of how to beat the odds and win this battle please feel free to pass it on. it may sound stupid, childish, or whatever else you see fit to describe my problem, but none the less it is a problem and one I ache to conquer desperatley. the funny thing about all of this is that I hate sleep.
peace
have you ever felt like your best isn't good enough? like no matter what you give you feel like you could give more, and if so how much deeper can you dig? if you question what a 100% is does that mean that you aren't giving it? sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to perfporm to my fullest, like people hold me back and keep me down. in a full 24 do I just keep going or sleep? do I take down time or push? sometimes I don't know the answers to these questions. sometimes I feel like I need a constant in my corner telling me how to win. I believe that the people I trust, the guys in my corner, give me good advice, but are they just saying things to make me feel better or giving me the truth. sometimes i question weather they know the answers themselves. what matters to me is supposed to matter most, but what matters to me is making a difference even in the smallest way each day to the people I care about. how do seperate the crap from what is truly important?
something different all together in an effort to save time... I know that I post this a lot but sleep is my true enemy. when I try to find sleep at a respectfull hour I am left wanting and see it as a waste of time, but if I get up then I have accomplished nothing in an endless battle. it's nerve racking. I'm tired right now and when this post is through I will brush my teeth, drink some water and lie down. but after countless wars with my pillow I can only assume that sleep will evade me untill the damage has been done. I have gone, between work and errands, 20 to 24 hrs without sleep time and again only to find myself lying in bed awake with sleep, solid restfull sleep, no where in sight. when the bell rings in the morning my head my brain will shout and scream for me to rise an accomplish something, make my difference, but my body is dead weight and refuses to move. quasi moto could ring his bells a foot from where I rest and it will prove futile. if anyone, I can't stress anyone enough in this statement, has any good advice of how to beat the odds and win this battle please feel free to pass it on. it may sound stupid, childish, or whatever else you see fit to describe my problem, but none the less it is a problem and one I ache to conquer desperatley. the funny thing about all of this is that I hate sleep.
peace