stick the dagger and twist its not in far enough
Speaking to someone you care deeply about for the first time in a long time can be a great thing. For instance talking to a friend of mine who had just finished her basic training for the Air Force Reserves was a wonderful thing. It was the emotions that came after finishing with her that caused my problem. That problem being that my emotions about her caused my mind to enter into a more than normal turmoil. THis is because this girl means a lot to me even though she may not really know it. Oh sure i've told her how I feel about her many times but I doubt if she really knew if I meant it or not. Well I did, you see i've wanted to date her for a good long time now but i've been turned down. Yes, yes, I know move on and be done with it. In this case easier said than done, because every once in a while she will do something that makes me think there might be something there between the two of us. Such as invites to family gatherings where I'm the only non family member there. Dinner and a Movie etc. It's the little things that make me wonder. Yet it causes more pain for me than happiness because the crucial step hasn't been taken to be sure her true feelings. Only time will tell I know but I leave college in December and if I don't have an answer by then I may never. My mother's father knew my grandmother was "the one", my dad the same with my mother. Sometimes i wonder myself if perhaps this girl is the one for me, yet must it be so difficult? Perhaps this is just part of some greater plan or just a way for fate to cause me grief. We may never know but hopefully soon I will get that answer that i so crave weather good or bad.