In Which I Become a Pedantic Motherfucker
Shit my Geography Professor says (class one):
- 1. My professor talks about how the South American and African plates are drifting away from one another, and then points at the line on the map that defines the two plates’ boundaries. “And right there,” he says, “is the Mariana Trench.”
- My reaction:
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What’s wrong with this?: The Mariana Trench is in the Pacific ocean, and is formed by subduction, a process only possible at a convergent boundary… not a divergent boundary… which is what is happening in the Atlantic…
- 2. My professor shows us a climate map, and says that both Europe and most of North America have shared climates, i.e, temperate. “That’s why,” he says, “the Europeans could grow potatoes in North America.”
- My reaction:
What’s wrong with this?: Now, I understand that what he said may not necessarily mean that he thinks potatoes come from Europe, but it certainly insinuates it. Potatoes are from South America, specifically Peru. So, no, Professor Lee… they don’t come from the same climate as Europe… and also potatoes didn’t even get to North America until the Irish and the Scottish started emigrating in massive numbers in the 1800s. That’s right, potatoes had to cross the ocean twice to get to North America.
- 3. My professor shows a map of Cultural Hearths. He points at one in West Africa and says “this where humans come from.”
- My reaction:
What’s wrong with this?: While there is a cultural hearth in West Africa, that is not where humans (according to the Out of Africa theory) came from. Ever heard of Olduvai, professor? The oldest tools made by man that we know of? Yeah… that’s in East Africa. The Leakeys are disappointed in you, sir.
- 4. My professor explains the difference between nation and state. He correctly tells us that state is political unit with man-made boundaries. He tells us that nation is not necessarily the same thing as a state because it’s a cultural identity that can go across state boundaries. On his powerpoint, he has very good examples like “Cherokee Nation” and “The Kurds”, but he decides to say in his lecture, when explaning it, “A nation isn’t a state! Just ask a Palestinian!”
- My reaction:
What’s wrong with this?: Yes. Nation and state are different… but saying “just ask a Palestinian” is by far the most controversial way to put it, and also, the least helpful in understanding the differences between the concepts. As far as the Palestinians are concerned, they have both a nation and a state, and it’s the dumb fucks of the international community who aren’t recognizing it. They were a state before Israel was there, and some still consider themselves a state now. So… while yes, they are more technically a nation now than a state, man, is that a bad example.
- 5. My professor is talking about the Tigris and Euphrates as the cradle of civilization, and then asks us who was there. I suggest the Summarians, the Assyrians, and the Babylonians. He shakes his head at me. Someone suggests “Mesopotamians,” and he smiles. Then he asks, “but what religions?” I reply, “polytheism” and then I get a bigger shake of the head and the girl next to me acts like I’m an idiot. “Judaism, Christianity, and Islam,” supposedly is the right answer.
- My reaction:
What’s wrong with this?: First of all, word your questions better, jackass. Second of all, NONE of those religions were founded anywhere in the vicinity of Mesopotamia (unless you count “vaguely on the same subcontinent” as being close). Two were on the east coast of the Mediterranean, and one is in the Arabian peninsula! Thirdly Mesopotamia is a geographical location, and not a people. None of the civilizations in Mesopotamia are called Mesopotamian. They are, as I say, Babylonian, Assyrian, Summarian, and so on and so forth.
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So basically…. after one class, I’m somewhere between
and
