Annika's Pregnant.... Again
Yup. For the past few months I've had these dreams. And I'm pregnant in the dreams. And for some reason, it never makes sense to have an abortion. The idea occurs to me, and in my dream (same as when I'm awake) I always think that abortion is the woman's choice. But this was by far the weirdest of my "I'm pregnant" dreams. And I can never remeber who the father is, or when, or how, or where I got pregnant. Apparently that part isnt important. And I remember thinking that I couldnt have an abortion, and there for because I dont think that at age 14 I could be a very good mother, and so I should give the baby up for addoption, but I had no idea how I would go through school for the next, I think it was, seven monthes(I'd been pregnant for two monthes) and what would happen to me. I mean, I'd have to do crew in the spring, and how would a nine month pregnant woman fit in a small boat? And how would I row? And then it became obvious that I HAD to keep this child. I dont remeber why. But I couldnt give it up for adoption. But then I somehow thought for a while I should have an abortion, and get pregnant at a better time. Like, four monthes later, so that I'd be really pregnant in the summer, and have the baby before school starts again. Which made no sense. And I dont even remeber what happened in the end. But I do remeber really loving having this tiny little pudgy tummy. *sigh* So this would now be the fifth or sixth time I've had pregnant dreams. Very suspicious. What does this mean?
And then yesterday (dont laugh at me) I fainted. Into a wall. Great fun. Big thing on my head. It even cut the skin open a bit. I have this long red inflamed ugly line running down my forehead and across my cheek and chin. I guess I blacked out, and was out cold for a short bit, but then I came to and was seeing stars, so I wasnt out for too long I dont think. But noone was thee, and no one saw it. I didnt even know I was bleeding till I was changing and glanced in the mirror. And then I went and got some ice so I didnt get really inflamed and have a killer headache. So I took some advil. And went and got lots of hugs from Matt. He rocks. I wont see him for three weeks, and I'll miss him horribly! He's soooo awesome. And then I got hugs from James. He rocks too. In a differnt way. But he rocks. And he was really concerned about my head. He's sweet like that. And then Will made fun of me, and Emily thought it was pretty hysterical too. And then I got in the car with my neighbor, and he said I might have a concussion. And he forbade me to go to sleep for a few hours just in case. Which was a total bitch cuz I WANTED TO SLEEP! I'm so tired.
Yeah, then I went out to dinner with Liza and Ellie, slept over. That was nice. A good change from school, and school people. I'm doing ok right now. Its really nice. I'm gonna see my baby tonight. (The little girl I used to babysit for) But she's my baby. (Ahem, more on the Annika pregnancy theme. I need a baby in my life. I really need a small thing that needs love. I do well like that. I need a BABY!!!! COME ON PEOPLE! GET ME A BABY! I was telling my friend how I love sleeping with small children. Absolutly no petifelic qualities. Its just I love having that small body, with all the same parts as me, but so much smaller sleeping soooo peacefully beside me. And breathing in, and out. I need a baby. *sigh* I should hurry up and get out of highschool so I can go to college, finish college, and have a baby.
Have a nice day.
~Nika
And then yesterday (dont laugh at me) I fainted. Into a wall. Great fun. Big thing on my head. It even cut the skin open a bit. I have this long red inflamed ugly line running down my forehead and across my cheek and chin. I guess I blacked out, and was out cold for a short bit, but then I came to and was seeing stars, so I wasnt out for too long I dont think. But noone was thee, and no one saw it. I didnt even know I was bleeding till I was changing and glanced in the mirror. And then I went and got some ice so I didnt get really inflamed and have a killer headache. So I took some advil. And went and got lots of hugs from Matt. He rocks. I wont see him for three weeks, and I'll miss him horribly! He's soooo awesome. And then I got hugs from James. He rocks too. In a differnt way. But he rocks. And he was really concerned about my head. He's sweet like that. And then Will made fun of me, and Emily thought it was pretty hysterical too. And then I got in the car with my neighbor, and he said I might have a concussion. And he forbade me to go to sleep for a few hours just in case. Which was a total bitch cuz I WANTED TO SLEEP! I'm so tired.
Yeah, then I went out to dinner with Liza and Ellie, slept over. That was nice. A good change from school, and school people. I'm doing ok right now. Its really nice. I'm gonna see my baby tonight. (The little girl I used to babysit for) But she's my baby. (Ahem, more on the Annika pregnancy theme. I need a baby in my life. I really need a small thing that needs love. I do well like that. I need a BABY!!!! COME ON PEOPLE! GET ME A BABY! I was telling my friend how I love sleeping with small children. Absolutly no petifelic qualities. Its just I love having that small body, with all the same parts as me, but so much smaller sleeping soooo peacefully beside me. And breathing in, and out. I need a baby. *sigh* I should hurry up and get out of highschool so I can go to college, finish college, and have a baby.
Have a nice day.
~Nika