(no subject)
"The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you"
____///Deuteronomy+1'30"
occasionally, even when the weight of the world has shifted from my back to the shoulders of another, i still feel overwhelmed.
sometimes it's just too much. to know that the one person i long to be with is out of reach.
that the one man who sets the standards for my aspirations cannot be matched.
and it may not be a sinful desire or a reoccuring mistake, but my struggle to be everything He intended me to be is too heavy.
it's not that i feel as if my God would turn his back on me.
nor do i believe He would hide his face from me if i didn't do things exactly right.
it's the vulnerability factor.
knowing that mySavior wears his heart on his sleeve day after day.
and all the while, i'm living my own life, without utter surrender to his will.
God gave me free will because He loves me. i think it's about time i turned my life into a tool for his benefit.
and yet, i worry. fearing that as i proclaim this new step i will take, satan lurks around the corner.
one step ahead of me. so as to set the trap for me to slither into as i turn my back on the Father again.
i'm always a step behind. and it sickens me to know that i can't do a thing about it.
luckily, however, God is two steps ahead. He will ''go before me, and fight for me.''
i think God's heart was in the right place all-along.
He was leading the way down a road to which i had turned my back.
it's awfully hard to follow in the footsteps of the Almighty when you've made an about-face.
it's even harder to travel a road on your own, when the man who drew-up the blueprints for that very avenue isn't walking with you.
turn to Him.
<3<3<3 nate