I Could Have Made Out Every Rain Drop Falling Down
Where to start?
A lot has happened the past few weeks, and to be honest, it's stuff that I don't really feel like discussing. At all. I guess I've learned there really is some stuff you keep to yourself. Some feelings, some emotions, that other people are better off not knowing. Regardless, a lesson learned, something to add to life experience, as is everything these days. No matter how someone tries to prepare you, going through the knocks and bumps of life can only be handled by you and you alone.
For me, this is essentially me starting again. Just, looking back over the past couple years and moving on. I kind of lost track of where I end and where everything else begins. No more rushing into anything, no more forcing something to occur when it just...doesn't work. And I take full responsibility for that.
I'm not sure what to say here anymore. I just haven't been inspired to say anything about my life or what I've been doing. The point of an lj is so people can see what you're up to, but I don't feel the need to record the mundane details of my day to day activities. And my thoughts? I just don't even feel like posting them here anymore. I kind of feel like too many people have access to this; anything put on the internet is by all means no longer your property. Anyone can see it, no matter how many security precautions you take. I think it's maybe time to crack the spine of good old reliable real life journal, or something. Because I know I need an outlet, something for my eyes only. I guess just too much has happened over these past few weeks, and it's never going to be the same. I've been out of college for a year, working every week, and I just...I need a direction to aim towards. Graduate...law school...yeah, there's a direction but unfortunately I've been so uninspired lately. I'll study but have to read the same lines over and over again to process the information. I just need to realign myself again.
So, to be honest, on top of everything, I'm starting to feel like me again. Old laid back, easy going me. Not one filled with anxiety and paranoia, or one who is worried about what drama next week is going to bring. I have a lot of catching up to do, and seemingly very limited time to do it. But, the future is wide open. It's an empty page. And that...is really exciting in a lot of ways.
A lot has happened the past few weeks, and to be honest, it's stuff that I don't really feel like discussing. At all. I guess I've learned there really is some stuff you keep to yourself. Some feelings, some emotions, that other people are better off not knowing. Regardless, a lesson learned, something to add to life experience, as is everything these days. No matter how someone tries to prepare you, going through the knocks and bumps of life can only be handled by you and you alone.
For me, this is essentially me starting again. Just, looking back over the past couple years and moving on. I kind of lost track of where I end and where everything else begins. No more rushing into anything, no more forcing something to occur when it just...doesn't work. And I take full responsibility for that.
I'm not sure what to say here anymore. I just haven't been inspired to say anything about my life or what I've been doing. The point of an lj is so people can see what you're up to, but I don't feel the need to record the mundane details of my day to day activities. And my thoughts? I just don't even feel like posting them here anymore. I kind of feel like too many people have access to this; anything put on the internet is by all means no longer your property. Anyone can see it, no matter how many security precautions you take. I think it's maybe time to crack the spine of good old reliable real life journal, or something. Because I know I need an outlet, something for my eyes only. I guess just too much has happened over these past few weeks, and it's never going to be the same. I've been out of college for a year, working every week, and I just...I need a direction to aim towards. Graduate...law school...yeah, there's a direction but unfortunately I've been so uninspired lately. I'll study but have to read the same lines over and over again to process the information. I just need to realign myself again.
So, to be honest, on top of everything, I'm starting to feel like me again. Old laid back, easy going me. Not one filled with anxiety and paranoia, or one who is worried about what drama next week is going to bring. I have a lot of catching up to do, and seemingly very limited time to do it. But, the future is wide open. It's an empty page. And that...is really exciting in a lot of ways.