Oh man, first off, I couldn't figure out how to comment. *is good at this*
Mothers. Uffda. I can't say as I've heard from too many people whose expectations for success from their families were that they'd quit if it were hard. It's an interesting issue to be tackling, but I appreciated the way you dug into things. It's natural to want to help people see things you've begun to discover that feel enlightening or freeing to you, though it's often in vain. But you found your thing one day, maybe one say she'll find her thing. c:
Haha, I think it's hard to comment on other peoples' stuff! I get it - it's intimidating, especially when all you can think to say is, "yeah, I liked this, good job @ u
( ... )
It’s so hard to overcome things we learn as a kid. It takes a lot of strength and courage and honesty. Good for you for finding your way through all of this!
I can understand how difficult it must have been to work through the things parents sometimes do unknowingly. My parents were the opposite, the ones that say me down and told me education was the only way out and I couldn't quit, even when things got hard. And bam, hit 18, things got terribly difficult and it took 4 years of therapy to get back to a place where I understand myself. But i too believe they only meant well.
My dad used to tell me, over and over again, that I had to get a good job or I'd end up like him, working at a blue collar position he hated but hung onto because it provided health insurance for the family. (He was a state worker - did some mechanical work but mostly was responsible for repairing road signs on state roads/highways.) My mom is the one that was constantly going, "if it's too hard, you can quit" - but she worked a white collar job. I think hers was a natural reaction to my granddad (who literally never stopped fucking working, good lord), but dang if it didn't mess with me a bit.
I can really understand this. I got similar messages growing up - if something is hard, why bother? Take the easy route. What is the point in doing something that you don't have to do? If I started something and things got hard and I needed help, no one would support me. I feel like I missed out on several opportunities because I just needed encouragement and the encouragement wasn't there. It kind of sucks how the environment we are exposed to as children affects our whole lives.
Yeah, it DOES suck, kind of a lot! It's taken a long time to get past the, "well, if it's hard, don't work at it, you'll never get better, just accept that you're shitty at this thing and refuse to try and improve." I'm finally at a point where I'm letting myself fail but keep trying vs. failing once and giving up, and it feels good. It took a long time to get here, but dang if it wasn't worth it. :)
The best advice I ever got about this was to let yourself fail. It's okay if you do! Minus certain things like, idk, rock climbing or whatnot, if you utterly and completely fail, no one's gonna die. No one will get hurt. You can pick it up and try again later.
Embrace failing and you'll be a happier creature in general, is my experience. :D
Comments 35
Mothers. Uffda. I can't say as I've heard from too many people whose expectations for success from their families were that they'd quit if it were hard. It's an interesting issue to be tackling, but I appreciated the way you dug into things. It's natural to want to help people see things you've begun to discover that feel enlightening or freeing to you, though it's often in vain. But you found your thing one day, maybe one say she'll find her thing. c:
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
If I started something and things got hard and I needed help, no one would support me. I feel like I missed out on several opportunities because I just needed encouragement and the encouragement wasn't there.
It kind of sucks how the environment we are exposed to as children affects our whole lives.
Reply
Reply
UM.
Reply
The best advice I ever got about this was to let yourself fail. It's okay if you do! Minus certain things like, idk, rock climbing or whatnot, if you utterly and completely fail, no one's gonna die. No one will get hurt. You can pick it up and try again later.
Embrace failing and you'll be a happier creature in general, is my experience. :D
Reply
Leave a comment