We are the future, you are the answer.
There a only a few new things for me to tell you jounal...
First, I will more than likely be going to Daytona for the weekend.
Second, I will be going up to my parents house tomorrow to me the "new cool priest."
Third, I might be getting a cat that has big marble eyes, one gree and one blue, and likes to take a bath.
Fourth, I might be ending my relationship with my little star, Michael.
Fifth, I'm getting fatter by the day.
So I guess I will let you know a little more in detail when each happens to happen.
In other news I have to contact that psyco Jonathan so that I can get my Nip/Tuck DVD box set back from him.
In other, other news Tony emailed me and here it is:
Keenan,
I choose not to even read this email until today. I was not too happy when you told me that you were going to find a sugar daddy. It put you in an entire new light in my mind and it was really disappointing. It is my fault I did not confront you about it, but I figured you would just tell me what I wanted to hear at that point. I did happen to break up with Joy, though.
I was not expecting you to be so agressive with me. When I felt that energy, it turned me off. I did not intend to get out of one relationship and be in another. I assumed you realized that, but I realize I was wrong about that now. 3 weeks ago, I went to my 10 year class reunion and was able to see my daughter. I brought her down here for 2 weeks and it was very special to me. The calls you made to me were when she was here were upsetting. I was worried about you and hoped that you were going to be ok. I stayed on the phone trying to figure out if you were in a safe place.
Anyways, I still have issues and being in a relationship is not what I want. I do not want to hurt you or anyone else, but I am not capable of that right now. My habit has been to just walk away from drama and that is what I felt shortly after I told you that I was planning on breaking it off with Joy that day. The following several days after that night were very difficult and I did want to be alone. I was wrong not to talk to you about that. I am sorry about that too.
So, if I was who I wanted to be, then after breaking up with Joy, I would have spoken to you and said that I was not intending into going into another relationship until it was right for me. I would have explained to you that I care about you a lot and enjoy being with you and that I want you in my life as a friend, but I knew if I said this I would hurt you or lead you on. Neither of which I wanted to do.
If you could, please email me back to let me know you got this.
I will be out of town that next 2 weeks and probably will not be available by phone too much.
Tony
I responded with:
Tony, Tony, Tony... I would like to start off by saying that I am very surprised that you are capable of such a letter. Kudos to you.
In regards to the whole sugar daddy thing, I was kidding and I think that I left you a voicemail telling you that. Sorry I for being an idiot that day...sometimes it just comes out. --but at the same time, it is no excuse for my actions/comments. I guess I was just angry at you for leaving me in the dark for those two months and after. I hope you can understand.
On another note, I'm glad to hear that you broke it off with Joy. It must have been hard and hopefully she didn't make too much of a scene. I'm proud of you.
When you talk about "that energy" what are you referring to? "That energy" could mean a variety of things. I know that you told me that you didn't want to be in another relationship but at the same time I told you time after time that I wanted to know what you wanted from me. I told you that I realized that you just wanted to date but I suppose I was hoping that love would rule. I just hope you are not one of those older guys that are so successful that it is detrimental to your heath and relationships. I don't really see that happening though.
I also want to apoligize for the intoxicated phone calls. There is also no excuse for those calls. I was just upset about the whole ordeal and how you ended things. That was wrong on your part. You can't just walk away from drama, you must face it until it dies down at least.
Tony, all you had to do was to sit down and talk about it. That monday that you broke up with Joy I was going to tell you that we just need to cool things down, but you didn't give me a chance and just "walked away from the drama." Avoiding people's phone calls isn't the thing to do. I myself am trying to stop that.
Don't you realize by saying:
"So, if I was who I wanted to be, then after breaking up with Joy, I would have spoken to you and said that I was not intending into going into another relationship until it was right for me."
that you are the person taht you want to be. You jsut don't know it. You are telling me right here, right now, in this letter.
Tony believe it or not, I still want to be your friend. I can let you know truthfully that I wouldn't expect anything more out of you. You are safe, I promise. Now that you have said it, in black and white, it is crystal clear. That is all you had to do. But I do believe that you doing what you did at the time helped me to get over you and to move on. thanks for that. I did learn a lot from our relationship and thanks for that too.
So I'll be waiting for your response when it happens to come.
peace-Keenan
So I guess I'll keep you posted on the matter when something new comes up.
today I have an interview and hopefully they will give me the job. I don't want to be a server anymore but I think that I have to wait until next week when i actually have a resume in order to branch out from serving. I see good times ahead.
Ciao my love- Keenan
First, I will more than likely be going to Daytona for the weekend.
Second, I will be going up to my parents house tomorrow to me the "new cool priest."
Third, I might be getting a cat that has big marble eyes, one gree and one blue, and likes to take a bath.
Fourth, I might be ending my relationship with my little star, Michael.
Fifth, I'm getting fatter by the day.
So I guess I will let you know a little more in detail when each happens to happen.
In other news I have to contact that psyco Jonathan so that I can get my Nip/Tuck DVD box set back from him.
In other, other news Tony emailed me and here it is:
Keenan,
I choose not to even read this email until today. I was not too happy when you told me that you were going to find a sugar daddy. It put you in an entire new light in my mind and it was really disappointing. It is my fault I did not confront you about it, but I figured you would just tell me what I wanted to hear at that point. I did happen to break up with Joy, though.
I was not expecting you to be so agressive with me. When I felt that energy, it turned me off. I did not intend to get out of one relationship and be in another. I assumed you realized that, but I realize I was wrong about that now. 3 weeks ago, I went to my 10 year class reunion and was able to see my daughter. I brought her down here for 2 weeks and it was very special to me. The calls you made to me were when she was here were upsetting. I was worried about you and hoped that you were going to be ok. I stayed on the phone trying to figure out if you were in a safe place.
Anyways, I still have issues and being in a relationship is not what I want. I do not want to hurt you or anyone else, but I am not capable of that right now. My habit has been to just walk away from drama and that is what I felt shortly after I told you that I was planning on breaking it off with Joy that day. The following several days after that night were very difficult and I did want to be alone. I was wrong not to talk to you about that. I am sorry about that too.
So, if I was who I wanted to be, then after breaking up with Joy, I would have spoken to you and said that I was not intending into going into another relationship until it was right for me. I would have explained to you that I care about you a lot and enjoy being with you and that I want you in my life as a friend, but I knew if I said this I would hurt you or lead you on. Neither of which I wanted to do.
If you could, please email me back to let me know you got this.
I will be out of town that next 2 weeks and probably will not be available by phone too much.
Tony
I responded with:
Tony, Tony, Tony... I would like to start off by saying that I am very surprised that you are capable of such a letter. Kudos to you.
In regards to the whole sugar daddy thing, I was kidding and I think that I left you a voicemail telling you that. Sorry I for being an idiot that day...sometimes it just comes out. --but at the same time, it is no excuse for my actions/comments. I guess I was just angry at you for leaving me in the dark for those two months and after. I hope you can understand.
On another note, I'm glad to hear that you broke it off with Joy. It must have been hard and hopefully she didn't make too much of a scene. I'm proud of you.
When you talk about "that energy" what are you referring to? "That energy" could mean a variety of things. I know that you told me that you didn't want to be in another relationship but at the same time I told you time after time that I wanted to know what you wanted from me. I told you that I realized that you just wanted to date but I suppose I was hoping that love would rule. I just hope you are not one of those older guys that are so successful that it is detrimental to your heath and relationships. I don't really see that happening though.
I also want to apoligize for the intoxicated phone calls. There is also no excuse for those calls. I was just upset about the whole ordeal and how you ended things. That was wrong on your part. You can't just walk away from drama, you must face it until it dies down at least.
Tony, all you had to do was to sit down and talk about it. That monday that you broke up with Joy I was going to tell you that we just need to cool things down, but you didn't give me a chance and just "walked away from the drama." Avoiding people's phone calls isn't the thing to do. I myself am trying to stop that.
Don't you realize by saying:
"So, if I was who I wanted to be, then after breaking up with Joy, I would have spoken to you and said that I was not intending into going into another relationship until it was right for me."
that you are the person taht you want to be. You jsut don't know it. You are telling me right here, right now, in this letter.
Tony believe it or not, I still want to be your friend. I can let you know truthfully that I wouldn't expect anything more out of you. You are safe, I promise. Now that you have said it, in black and white, it is crystal clear. That is all you had to do. But I do believe that you doing what you did at the time helped me to get over you and to move on. thanks for that. I did learn a lot from our relationship and thanks for that too.
So I'll be waiting for your response when it happens to come.
peace-Keenan
So I guess I'll keep you posted on the matter when something new comes up.
today I have an interview and hopefully they will give me the job. I don't want to be a server anymore but I think that I have to wait until next week when i actually have a resume in order to branch out from serving. I see good times ahead.
Ciao my love- Keenan