That time again
Yep, a year has been added on my age as of today i am no longer a teenager. Most people reading this probably arn't teenagers themselves anymore, but for myself, it holds a high significance.
From 16 onwards i've just been waiting them to end, so i could embark on a new chapter.
I'm not going to go into too much detail, those of you i want to know the details will already know them, an dno offence but i feel quite private about certain stuff.
Its a huge relief, i even had a little cry yesterday, just to know that even today isn't technically any different then yesterday, it feels a million miles away.
I cried for 2 reasons, happiness and sadness.
I cried for how lucky i am to be where i am, sure maybe i didn't do what most other girls my age did career wise, but i don't think half of them even appriciate their lives like i appriciate mine.
I've got a loving supportive father, a caring somewhat daft brother, a loyal sincere boyfriend, a cute cuddly pup, a flat, a job, hardcore, a few great friends and my health (touch wood).
People are starving, being bombed, raped and dying in the world and i've got so much to be thankful for, i'm just really really greatfull.
The sadness i mentioned is about my losses i've had in my teenage years. Loosing a member of your family is hard, your mother is harder, i lost a friend and the one person i was close too and feel a great sadness of coming of age and not being able to share it, but it was her choice and thats the way the cookie crumbles. I also felt sad for all the people who have come and gone, come into my life with a song and left with a punch in the face- they have cost me many a tear in the past, that i felt it only right to allow myself to be able to grieve a little.
But its ok, cause its over.
I'm sorry if you thought this would be an excited happy textbook birthday message, i hope it doesn't sound gothic, i'm not depressed, i'm really happy if anything, i just have a different way of expressing myself in this situation then breaking out in smiles and exclamation marks.
Marks taking me out for dinner tonight, that'll be nice, but he won't tell me where! I just hope i can eat something there! I'm sure as the day goes on i'll bubble over in excitement!
New beginnings, new friendships, new oppotunities- i'm fired up and ready.
And if i mess it up again, at least i have my thirties...!!!
Nat xxx
From 16 onwards i've just been waiting them to end, so i could embark on a new chapter.
I'm not going to go into too much detail, those of you i want to know the details will already know them, an dno offence but i feel quite private about certain stuff.
Its a huge relief, i even had a little cry yesterday, just to know that even today isn't technically any different then yesterday, it feels a million miles away.
I cried for 2 reasons, happiness and sadness.
I cried for how lucky i am to be where i am, sure maybe i didn't do what most other girls my age did career wise, but i don't think half of them even appriciate their lives like i appriciate mine.
I've got a loving supportive father, a caring somewhat daft brother, a loyal sincere boyfriend, a cute cuddly pup, a flat, a job, hardcore, a few great friends and my health (touch wood).
People are starving, being bombed, raped and dying in the world and i've got so much to be thankful for, i'm just really really greatfull.
The sadness i mentioned is about my losses i've had in my teenage years. Loosing a member of your family is hard, your mother is harder, i lost a friend and the one person i was close too and feel a great sadness of coming of age and not being able to share it, but it was her choice and thats the way the cookie crumbles. I also felt sad for all the people who have come and gone, come into my life with a song and left with a punch in the face- they have cost me many a tear in the past, that i felt it only right to allow myself to be able to grieve a little.
But its ok, cause its over.
I'm sorry if you thought this would be an excited happy textbook birthday message, i hope it doesn't sound gothic, i'm not depressed, i'm really happy if anything, i just have a different way of expressing myself in this situation then breaking out in smiles and exclamation marks.
Marks taking me out for dinner tonight, that'll be nice, but he won't tell me where! I just hope i can eat something there! I'm sure as the day goes on i'll bubble over in excitement!
New beginnings, new friendships, new oppotunities- i'm fired up and ready.
And if i mess it up again, at least i have my thirties...!!!
Nat xxx