A long post about life and love.
My Life’s Goals
Ok, so I’m sitting in bed right now and am sort of tired, but not really enough to go to sleep because I just ate a bag of Reese’s. Blech. So, I figured I’m write what I want to do in my life.
- Do well at Berklee.
- Graduate Berklee!
- Move to California and make music for video games.
- Be in a good prog. metal band.
- Get way better at guitar and flute.
- Be successful and be able to pay off my student loans (ugh, I am definitely in debt for the rest of my life).
- Travel the world!
- Fall in love with a super duper AWESOME guy! I really want that to happen.
- Get married to him!
- Be happy!
- Raise good kids (if I decide to have kids).
- Play a ton of shows.
- Play a ton of video games.
- Search for unicorns!
- Write a book (or two, or three).
- Compose, compose, compose.
- Meet tons of interesting people.
- Read tons of books.
- Change someone’s life.
- Be a part of something big.
- Make people smile.
That’s all that comes to mind right now, but there are definitely tons of other things I want to do, too. I just want to be happy and have fun, and do what I love and love what I do. It kind of stinks that you have to work hard to be able to have fun, but hey, it’s worth it, right?! :D
So yeah, today I was eating chocolate (not the Reese’s, this was different chocolate), and it was the Dove kind that has a little fortune on the inside of the wrapper. It said, “True love lasts forever.” So true! I am saving that wrapper. It made me happy and I agree with it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about love, and I really want TRUE love. I don’t like the idea of just dating a bunch of people, and I REALLY don’t like the idea of just like “hooking up” with people; that is so gross. I want stability and I want a relationship that I know won’t end. I’m sick of getting hurt and I’m sick of being treated like crap and being lied to. I just want ONE nice guy, just ONE, that will like me as much as I like them, and who will make me smile and laugh and who will tickle me and cuddle with me and think I’m pretty and I’ll think they’re pretty, too. I want to be with someone I feel comfortable around and who I’m not afraid to eat in front of (I’m weird… I can’t eat in front of guys sometimes) and who will think farting is funny and who will watch dorky Disney movies with me and who will talk to me and be interested in being with me. I wanna be with someone who won’t think I’m stupid and who will respect me and who will be sweet and think of me and let me know that they think of me. I want to be with someone who will teach me new things and who I won’t ever get sick of being around and who will call me just to say ‘hello’. I want to wake up everyday and smile just because I know that I have the greatest guy ever and that I’m the luckiest girl alive. I want to be with someone who is loyal, trustworthy, and a good friend. I want to be best friends with them. I want to know everything about them but still be surprised by new little facts. I want to be able to have sleepovers with them and wake up to stinky morning breath kisses. I want to have tickle fights and wrestling matches and thumb wars. I want someone to pick me up and catch me when I fall (I can be really clumsy sometimes) and take care of me when I’m sick. I want to be with someone who will write me notes all the time and never get sick of doing so, even if they have bad handwriting that I can’t read. It would make me so happy. I want to be with someone who won’t lie to me, EVER, not even to “save me from getting hurt”. I want to be with someone who doesn’t find the need to look at anyone else because they think that I am that beautiful. I want to be with someone who won’t do dumb shit and who will be a good kid. I want to be with someone romantic and spontaneous, but who also likes to just sit in the house sometimes and bum around. I want to be with someone fun. I want to be penpals with him, even if we saw each other on a regular basis. I want to be with someone smart who cares about school. I want to be with someone who will dance with me and draw me silly little pictures. I want to be with someone cool and interesting and brilliant and fucking awesome. I want to be with someone nice. I want to hold hands with them and go for walks and sit by the water and talk or not talk, and just be happy because they’re there. I want to be with someone who loves music and loves video games and loves being happy. And I really want to be with someone who proves with actions that they care about me and like me a bunch. And I especially want to be with someone who will fall in love with me, and I mean REALLY fall in love with me. I want to be with someone who agrees with me when I say you can really only be in love with one person because it is just that special. I want to fall in love for the first (and only) time, and I know it takes time to do so, but I think that I might want that more than anything that has to do with music, and that says something, because I really cannot live without music. I want to be with someone amazingly handsome and that I’m incredibly attracted to. I want to be with someone who won’t ignore me, won’t lead me on, won’t cheat on me, won’t hurt me, won’t be arrogant or rude or mean or cruel or idiotic or won’t do drugs and won’t be an asshole and won’t lie to me and won’t do mean things behind my back and won’t get mad at me for no reason and won’t yell at me or be full of themselves. I know I’m kind of young, but I just don’t think I can handle being hurt anymore. I am so sick of stupid perverted jerks. I just wanna find the right one, and I really hope he exists.
So yep, I decided that I am so over everything that has happened in the past (well, maybe I’m still a little bit bitter, but I think I’m definitely way more optimistic about the future), and I’m going to stay alone UNLESS someone proves that they can definitely be everything that I listed, and more. ☺ Wee!
Ok, so I’m sitting in bed right now and am sort of tired, but not really enough to go to sleep because I just ate a bag of Reese’s. Blech. So, I figured I’m write what I want to do in my life.
- Do well at Berklee.
- Graduate Berklee!
- Move to California and make music for video games.
- Be in a good prog. metal band.
- Get way better at guitar and flute.
- Be successful and be able to pay off my student loans (ugh, I am definitely in debt for the rest of my life).
- Travel the world!
- Fall in love with a super duper AWESOME guy! I really want that to happen.
- Get married to him!
- Be happy!
- Raise good kids (if I decide to have kids).
- Play a ton of shows.
- Play a ton of video games.
- Search for unicorns!
- Write a book (or two, or three).
- Compose, compose, compose.
- Meet tons of interesting people.
- Read tons of books.
- Change someone’s life.
- Be a part of something big.
- Make people smile.
That’s all that comes to mind right now, but there are definitely tons of other things I want to do, too. I just want to be happy and have fun, and do what I love and love what I do. It kind of stinks that you have to work hard to be able to have fun, but hey, it’s worth it, right?! :D
So yeah, today I was eating chocolate (not the Reese’s, this was different chocolate), and it was the Dove kind that has a little fortune on the inside of the wrapper. It said, “True love lasts forever.” So true! I am saving that wrapper. It made me happy and I agree with it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about love, and I really want TRUE love. I don’t like the idea of just dating a bunch of people, and I REALLY don’t like the idea of just like “hooking up” with people; that is so gross. I want stability and I want a relationship that I know won’t end. I’m sick of getting hurt and I’m sick of being treated like crap and being lied to. I just want ONE nice guy, just ONE, that will like me as much as I like them, and who will make me smile and laugh and who will tickle me and cuddle with me and think I’m pretty and I’ll think they’re pretty, too. I want to be with someone I feel comfortable around and who I’m not afraid to eat in front of (I’m weird… I can’t eat in front of guys sometimes) and who will think farting is funny and who will watch dorky Disney movies with me and who will talk to me and be interested in being with me. I wanna be with someone who won’t think I’m stupid and who will respect me and who will be sweet and think of me and let me know that they think of me. I want to be with someone who will teach me new things and who I won’t ever get sick of being around and who will call me just to say ‘hello’. I want to wake up everyday and smile just because I know that I have the greatest guy ever and that I’m the luckiest girl alive. I want to be with someone who is loyal, trustworthy, and a good friend. I want to be best friends with them. I want to know everything about them but still be surprised by new little facts. I want to be able to have sleepovers with them and wake up to stinky morning breath kisses. I want to have tickle fights and wrestling matches and thumb wars. I want someone to pick me up and catch me when I fall (I can be really clumsy sometimes) and take care of me when I’m sick. I want to be with someone who will write me notes all the time and never get sick of doing so, even if they have bad handwriting that I can’t read. It would make me so happy. I want to be with someone who won’t lie to me, EVER, not even to “save me from getting hurt”. I want to be with someone who doesn’t find the need to look at anyone else because they think that I am that beautiful. I want to be with someone who won’t do dumb shit and who will be a good kid. I want to be with someone romantic and spontaneous, but who also likes to just sit in the house sometimes and bum around. I want to be with someone fun. I want to be penpals with him, even if we saw each other on a regular basis. I want to be with someone smart who cares about school. I want to be with someone who will dance with me and draw me silly little pictures. I want to be with someone cool and interesting and brilliant and fucking awesome. I want to be with someone nice. I want to hold hands with them and go for walks and sit by the water and talk or not talk, and just be happy because they’re there. I want to be with someone who loves music and loves video games and loves being happy. And I really want to be with someone who proves with actions that they care about me and like me a bunch. And I especially want to be with someone who will fall in love with me, and I mean REALLY fall in love with me. I want to be with someone who agrees with me when I say you can really only be in love with one person because it is just that special. I want to fall in love for the first (and only) time, and I know it takes time to do so, but I think that I might want that more than anything that has to do with music, and that says something, because I really cannot live without music. I want to be with someone amazingly handsome and that I’m incredibly attracted to. I want to be with someone who won’t ignore me, won’t lead me on, won’t cheat on me, won’t hurt me, won’t be arrogant or rude or mean or cruel or idiotic or won’t do drugs and won’t be an asshole and won’t lie to me and won’t do mean things behind my back and won’t get mad at me for no reason and won’t yell at me or be full of themselves. I know I’m kind of young, but I just don’t think I can handle being hurt anymore. I am so sick of stupid perverted jerks. I just wanna find the right one, and I really hope he exists.
So yep, I decided that I am so over everything that has happened in the past (well, maybe I’m still a little bit bitter, but I think I’m definitely way more optimistic about the future), and I’m going to stay alone UNLESS someone proves that they can definitely be everything that I listed, and more. ☺ Wee!
