Damn
I really can't understand how someone could say that they love someone and don't want to be without them yet never respond when being spoken to. Damnit I need to get use to this new job before I go looking for new places to live. But where I live that cheaper? Into a 1 bedroom and I can sleep on the couch? Shit I may never have a bf again but I will still have sex once in awhile I hope and I like having privacy anyway. So WTF?!?!?!?! I guess it's into an apartment with less space and NOW I have 2 guinea pigs and 2 cats!!!! FUCK!!! I can't just stay here either. I have tried to ask him to leave before and it ain't happening easily so I have to go somewhere else no matter what. It's going to be tough cause he will fight it at all costs but why would I stay in this. At least before he didn't ignore me too, but now it's being ignored and just be plain annoyed. I think he just wants someone to tell him how great he is all the time without trying to be a good person at all. What REALLY gets me is that he is so determind that he LOVES me sooooooooooooo much. I don't believe that to be true why would he be so cold to me then if not. I don't want to help him pay the bills and clean up after him. He is scared and treating me like shit because of it. So honestly all that I can see making it alright with me is to leave myself and get away from him. It's time to get to it. If I try hard enough damnit I will succeed swimmingly. I need to have more faith in myself, I will start to work on that. If I don't start doing the DAMN thing now I will always be not so happy could be better I want wonderful MOST times with the obvious rare rough patch. My bad thoughts are hurting my stomch. HI HO