(no subject)
Christmas was really wonderful. Tom loves it so much that it's difficult for me NOT to get in the spirit.
Christmas Eve we went to my aunt's house for dinner. My entire family tends to get together and we do a "Lebanese gift exchange" which is similar to a "Chinese gift exchange", but we're Lebanese ... It's not that funny but it is fun. My cousin announced that she is pregnant, I started secretly crying and then Tom came over and we went outside.
I would've had my little one here in the next couple days, had everything gone perfectly. And that's been a hard thing to deal with. Tom did listen to me when we were outside as I told him I would never feel 100% okay with our decision. And that it could've gone either way and I wouldn't have killed a little life. I look at this whole situation in a grim way, I know.
ANYWAY. We had a great night. It was good to see my family, and my younger cousin was visiting from Quito, Ecuador where she is teaching English right now.
We slept at my mom/step-dad's, and then woke up in the morning to open gifts. It was really wonderful and I was glad Tom joined us. He said, "When are we going to stop spending Christmas apart?" and I said "Next year, I guess" and he said "Well, why not this year?" I couldn't argue with that.
We then drove back to our place and his mom came over to open more gifts. She and I have a somewhat difficult relationship but it just is what it is and I think I deal with it just fine.
I've had the entire week off and am going back today. I volunteered which I'm kind of bummed about, but I started getting pretty depressed toward the end of the week. Not sure of the cause. I'm feeling pretty disconnected from my friends at the moment, and I think that's part of it. I'm disconnected from my art too which is another issue. Generally going through a weird slump, but isn't that just generally the case? Ugh.
And I need to get ready for work.