Dry Run AIM Log - Loki & Natasha try to match wits.
Loki: Self-sex....?
Loki: Really?
Natasha: You know. Masturbation. *simply*
Loki: Yes, but... self-sex?
Natasha: Self love sounds so stupid.
Loki: I always liked the term 'pleasuring yourself' best.
Natasha: *headtilt* But it's not always about pleasure. Sometimes you just need to come and get on with your day.
Loki: *smirks* Isn't it? Perhaps it should be.
Natasha: I don't always have time for that.
Loki: Are you telling me you can't even spare five minutes of your time for a little pleasure in the morning?
Natasha: *swallows* Not always, no.
Loki: *pitying voice* That's such a shame.
Natasha: Are you saying you do?
Loki: *laughing* When I feel the need, yes. I can always find time for pleasure; where's the shame in that?
Natasha: *narrow eyes* Don't laugh at me. Not everyone is a fucking god with all the time in the world to jerk himself off.
Loki: Who said I was laughing at you? I'm merely finding amusement in the situation. I don't think I'm breaking any of your precious laws in doing that.
Natasha: Of course you're not. I'm simply pointing out not everyone has time to whip out the toys and go to town. Sometimes all you have is when you're in the shower in the morning and your hand.
Loki: How tragic that your kind seem to have lost their way when it comes to the pursuit of happiness.
Natasha: *uncomfortable* I'm plenty happy.
Loki: Mmm, yes, of course you are. *doesn't sound convinced, not for a second*
Natasha: *fold arms* You don't know me as well as you think you do.
Loki: I know that you enjoy killing far more than you're prepared to admit to yourself, no matter how much you try and convince yourself otherwise. I know that you pride yourself on your work, for all that you claim it disgusts you; and I know that for all you act like the cold, distanced ice queen, there's a part of you that just longs to let go, to couple and rut like an untamed beast, to give in to that hidden and secret part of your mind that wants nothing more than to break free of its shackles and run wild until you collapse, panting, your passions spent. *smiles* Am I close?
Natasha: *She listens, eyes narrowing more and more as he speaks. He's right. There's truth to what he says. Real undeniable truth but she can't even admit that to herself and the fact he knows it's true, even more than she does. The murdering, the lack of emotions...fuck, even the sex. How the hell does he know her better than she knows herself?* That...is marginally accurate in some cases, yes.
Loki: Only marginally? *his smile widens, his grin almost infuriating in its smugness* Oh, come now, Natasha, we both know there's more than a grain of truth within those words. We're two of a kind, you and I; we've built our entire lives on trickery and falsehood. We know better than any other that no matter how hard you try, even you cannot lie to yourself.
Natasha: *her arms stay folded tightly over herself, though she doesn't back away. The grin is indeed infuriating, enough that she wants to reach out and strike him but that's probably just what he wants from her.* Lying to yourself and dealing with that you've done in the past are two very different things.
Loki: Are they? *he takes a step closer, drawing himself up to his full height; he knows by now that it won't intimidate her, but it adds extra weigh to his words nonetheless* You and your companions revile and demonise me without a second thought - but tell me, have you ever asked Thor how many men he has killed with those hands? Do you ever think about the lives you have ended, or how many families have been deprived of a father thanks to Banner's actions?
Natasha: *she...blinks. Just once and takes a step away from him* Again, there's a difference. Your brother fought in battles, in wars. *and yes, she know calling Thor his brother will piss him off* Bruce was out of control, unable to stop the Hulk. And...*she can't speak for herself, because she knows deep down she is no better than how he says she is.* You kill because you enjoy it. It makes you feel good. That is not the same thing.
Loki: *yes, referring to Thor as his brother does indeed piss him off, earning her a scowl* And what makes you think I was not fighting in those very same wars? You speak of Banner also, how he is unable to stop himself; what if I, too, were unable to prevent my actions, bound both by fate and by Odin's decree? *but then there's the hint of that wicked smile again* Oh yes, I enjoy it, but that doesn't mean I can be held entirely accountable.
Natasha: So when you used the Cube, came to Earth and killed what...80 people in two days, and how many others by bringing the Chutari here, that wasn't your fault?
Loki: I think you're missing the point here. *he laughs, fixing her with the most intense gaze* You seem unable to get past the fact that I enjoy what I do, whether it be predetermined or no; that I take great pleasure in ending the lives of others, and finding the most ingenious ways in which to do so. But what of yourself? Do you really hate killing that much?
Natasha: *simply* I kill when it's necessary.
Loki: Tsk tsk, what did I say about lying to yourself? It's glaringly obvious, Natasha. All these skills which you possess, the ability to lie and manipulate, the power to disappear at a mere moment's notice, and yet you choose to remain and serve your SHIELD masters like a good little attack dog. Why?
Natasha: *her mouth hangs open a moment before she clamps it shut tightly, gathering her composure* They gave me a chance to make up for what I'd done.
Loki: Oh, don't be such a fool. *he sneers now, his contempt showing* You could easily slip Fury's leash and make a new life for yourself doing something a lot more... I don't know; merciful. Save some puppies, look after orphaned children, whatever it is you Midgardians do when you're trying to atone for your mistakes. After all, you know how miserable it can be to be an unfortunate child, do you not?
Natasha: That would be a waste of my skills, you know that as well as I do.
Loki: So now it's all about your skill-set. Have you even tried doing something like serving fries? You never know, you may be incredibly good at it..
Natasha: *smuggly* That doesn't pay the bills very well.
Loki: And now it's about money. For a woman who seems determined to prove that she is above me, you're really not putting forth a convincing argument.
Natasha: It's not about money. *glares like the madness* And I never said I was above you. *She didn't. She always said Clint was better than Loki*
Loki: So what is it about, then? You truly believe that by killing others, you can make up for the ones you have already killed? You know as well as I that it won't bring any of them back.
Natasha: I can prevent more death. I can stop people that are like the person I used to be.
Loki: You can prevent more death by killing people? And you claim that you and I are so unalike.
Natasha: *twitches* It's about the greater good.
Loki: Ah, the ends justify the means, yes? And yet you failed to see the merit in my plan. You disappoint me; you, of all people, should have understood.
Natasha: What exactly was your plan in the first place?
Loki: An end to war. An end to conflict. The death of a few in order to avoid the death of many more.
Natasha: By you being the master of everything and crushing anyone who thought otherwise?
Loki: *smiles* And do you really think you humans would stop killing each other out of common courtesy?
Natasha: *speechless for a moment* No one gave you the right to make that choice for us.
Loki: Well, you're certainly incapable of making it for yourselves.
Natasha: *thoughtful pause* What happened to you?
Loki: *and now it's his turn to hesitate, with a slightly puzzled expression* What?
Natasha: *steps one step closer* People don't start out their lives like this, like you. What happened that made you think you needed to save us humans from ourselves?
Loki: *his eyes narrow, but he stands his ground* I am a god. You have no right to question my will, nor my motivations.
Natasha: Call me curious, then. Do all Gods feel the way you do?
Loki: Of course not. Why should we? There would be little point to our existence if we all embodied the same things.
Natasha: So, *another step closer so she can lower her voice* What happened to you?
Loki: *visibly bristling; she's not quite getting to him, not yet, but she's pretty damned close* I don't know what you're talking about. *but he does. He really does.*
Natasha:*very softly, gently even* You were born this way? You had no choice.
Loki: *his lips narrow into a thin line, and his eyes - they're almost pleading. Don't do this, Tasha. Don't make him do this* We cannot choose our fate.
Natasha: *she's pushy when she...cares? Or something* No, but we can choose how we react to it. We can take control of our own lives back, can't we?
Loki: *tensing* Are you trying to imply that I'm not in control?
Natasha: Implying? *eyebrow* I could see from the first time I saw you you were out of control. *swallows very hard* It takes one to know one, doesn't it?
Loki: *again, he hesitates; is she actually admitting a weakness, drawing a comparison between the two of them?* Still your tongue, woman. You know not of what you speak.
Natasha: *tight smile* Heh. And here I thought we were getting somewhere.
Loki: *sneers* You would presume to know the dealings of a god. You're even more presumptuous than I thought. *but if he's being overly-defensive, it's because she's being far more insightful than Loki could have imagined, and it unsettles him*
Natasha: *she's not stupid, she simply needed to find a way in. There's always a way in to see someone for who they truly are. Loki found her's rather easily but his was harder to uncover. She's not even sure she'd even done that. Yet.* No, I don't presume, but I'm curious. *shrugs* Haven’t you ever been curious about something you don't understand?
Loki: Of course I have! *he practically snaps at her* But you're nothing but a mortal!
Natasha: *doesn't even flinch. It's not like he's the Hulk* Then why are you still here talking to me?
Loki: *and now he stops and stares at her, a glowering, hateful glare. In truth, he doesn't have an answer*
Natasha: *She can stare back, you know?*
Loki: *hissing* Our conversation is at an end.
Natasha: *still silent, but is she smiling, just a bit*
Loki: *damn this woman for being more cunning than he realised; she's seen more of him than he thought she ever could* Well? What are you grinning at?
Natasha: Nothing. *smiles wider*
Loki: I would love to know what you find so very amusing.
Natasha: *still smiling* Oh, I bet you would.
Loki: *becoming irritated* I suggest you tell me, else I shall have to rip out your tongue and discover its secrets for myself.
Natasha: *smirks* You.
Loki: I amuse you. *he says the word with distaste*
Natasha: *Bites her bottom lip, still smirking* You're rather entertaining, yes.
Loki: *clearly annoyed* Much as I hate to disappoint, Romanova, I am not here merely for your entertainment.
Natasha: *headtilt* Then why are you here?
Loki: *rolls his eyes* Have we not been through this?
Natasha: *nod* You said we were done talking, if I remember correctly.
Loki: We are. Now leave me.
Natasha: *doesn't even blink, or move*
Loki: *he gives one last sneer in Tasha's direction before turning on his heel and stalking off*