She doesn't say another word, taking his hand in hers. She mutters something to the owner of the diner about starting a tab to make up for all the extra cash she threw around.
Natasha knows she's too scared to think straight, she's been the one playing that game on people before, too. Abuse the weakness, exploit basic human decency to get what you want any way you can get it. It was all part of the job. Or at least it used to be.
She silently takes them to her apartment, which isn't much of a home. Tasha doesn't spend a lot of time there. There's a desk with work papers scattered on it, a small kitchen and living room and the bedroom and bathroom off to the side.
Natasha drops Bucky's hand once they're inside. She starts pacing the apartment nervously, unsure why she's feeling this way. The Skrulls, the lose of her inhibitions at the diner, the guilt of pushing Bucky like that? She's not sure why but she has an overwhelming urge to break down and cry.
She sinks down onto her sofa, burying her face in her hands. She can't let Bucky see her lose it like this, not after how foolishly she acted before. It's just...insane.
She may not want or like Bucky seeing her cry, but he does. “Oh, Tasha,” he says, sitting beside her and resting a hand on her shoulder. Natasha Romanoff crying is not a sight he ever thought he’d see, and it’s off-putting, but understandable. The day they’ve had could break anyone down. Bucky may not be expressing it the same way, but he certainly feels it. The tension, the worry and distrust and just all of it. He knows it’s real, even if it doesn’t feel real, and he suspects she’s feeling that, as well.
But still...to see the strongest woman he knows, the woman who had been so in control when she’d been interrogating that Skrull...to see that woman break down like this sends him into a panic. “It’s gonna be okay,” he says as he rubs her shoulder, but he’s never been the best at comforting, and the gesture just comes across as awkward. “Not gonna let anything happen.” Even if he knows that the next morning, they’ll have to deal with the Skrull situation. For now, they can escape.
She may be strong, capable and at times ruthless but she's still human. She's still just a girl deep down under it all. And she is afraid of what will happen. Not just to her and Bucky but to the rest of the world.
"It's not gonna be OK." She picks her head up to look at him with tear reddened eyes. His hand on her shoulder isn't enough for her. Without hesitation she wraps her arms around him, perhaps too tightly for his injuries.
"You're one man." Tasha says with a sob. She's not saying it to belittle Bucky's ability but she saw what one lone Skrull did to him. What if there are hundreds, even thousands? Tasha's shaking like a leaf just thinking about it. She lifts her head up to look in his eyes. "We should run." Tasha chokes out, hating herself for even thinking it, let alone suggesting it.
He laughs incredulously. “Run where, Tasha? If there is a risk of invasion, nowhere will be safe. Besides, we’d have to cut it off at its source. Here in the city.” Unless there are other Skrulls scouting other cities already. There haven’t been any reports, but perhaps those scouts are just being stealthier. Either way, at least one and possibly two had been seen in New York City-one of them wearing the face of Nick Fury. Commander Hill is doing the best she can as they search for him, but what if they are unable to find him? The country would likely be safe for a while, but what kind of soldiers would they be if they ran? No, placating Natasha would solve nothing. It’s time for Bucky to be realistic with her.
"What if we can't?" She's still not good at handling the strange and unknown. Sure, she can roll with the punches but this is terrifying. "We don't even know what we're dealing with."
Tasha's glad he's remaining level headed about this, because she just can't.
"We will," he says, and it actually sounds like he means it. He's faced seemingly insurmountable odds before and made it out alive. Never mind that this is on a larger scale. He rubs Tasha's back, kisses her temple. "It'll be ugly, but we'll do it."
Tasha isn't the way many people get to see her right now. The Black Widow? She'd be just as zealously proclaiming their ability to win as Bucky is. Hell, she'd be out there kicking ass already. Natasha, however? Not so much. Not tonight.
His confidence is enough to make her snap out of it, at least slightly. "Yeah. We will." She agrees before he kisses her temple. Tasha quickly turns her head, pressing her lips on his. There's no near violent desperation to it this time. It's tender, comforting. It's what she needs right now and she hopes he feels the same way. "Thank you for being brave when I'm not."
Natasha has kissed a lot of men in a lot of different situations. She knows a thing or two about the level of sincerity in such a simple action. She knows, that's what names him different. Better.
Even if he's not brave, the attitude is enough to make her less afraid and more like her usual confident self. So much so that she get a little more aggressive, wrapping her fingers over his shoulders so she can pull herself into his lap. "You're still gonna stay with me tonight, aren't you?"
"Of course I am." There's no question about it. They need each other right now. And, whether he'll admit it or not, his feelings for her run deep. So, he wraps his arms around her, resting his head against her bosom.
She does need him, more than she realized until today. There was a time she told herself she thought he was nothing special, but that was never true. Bucky's taken care of her. Little things like making sure she got home safe after way too much vodka and now...this.
She wraps her arms around him in turn, feeling his breathing against her chest, his pulse next to her skin. She swallows hard, that fear of what they'll have to face soon very real. But it's not as scary with him there.
"For what it's worth," Natasha whispers after a long while of silence. "There's no one else I'd rather survive the end of the world with than you."
He looks at her a long moment before catching her lips with his again. The woman always manages to surprise him, to amaze him with even the most mundane of things, and he wonders if this is what love is like. He's pretty sure he's never been in love before, but that's mostly his own fault. Back in the day, he went through girls the way a car goes through gas. He'd never given himself the chance to fall in love. But he and Natasha have been working in close quarters for a while now. He hasn't had the chance to spurn her, and, more importantly, he hasn't wanted to. So, if there's a neediness there, a hunger that wasn't there the first few times they kissed, it's because he's been starved for this kind of affection.
She's full of surprises, so much so that Tasha shocks herself sometimes. Like now. She never would have chosen him, but here he is. And in spite of how things started, she wants him there with her.
It's not about love or need or even infatuation. Not yet, but if they keep down this road it will be soon enough. If they don't end up dead before they get the chance.
All Tasha knows right now is he makes her better. He makes her feel again and that's something that caught her completely off guard. That excitement is clear in the way she kisses him, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull her body that much closer to his. Natasha's heart if racing, her hands are shaking and she doesn't even try to hide it from him.
He feels the trembling in her hands and takes them in his own steady hands. Her heart's racing like crazy, in a way he hasn't noticed it race outside of battle. Although perhaps he hasn't gotten close enough to her outside of fights to get the chance to see her like this. Or maybe she's just really good at faking it, or, perhaps she really is just that collected most of the time. No matter what the case, he knows it's got to be something rare.
"Hey," he reassures with a small grin. "It's okay."
She's human. The Black Widow may be a highly skilled professional when it comes to her job, but that doesn't make her any less of a person. In fact that training she had when she was younger left her far more vulnerable than she'll ever admit to anyone. Natasha is impeccable at hiding what she's really feeling when she needs to.
But right now Tasha feels she doesn't have to do that. "Stop lying." She nips at his lip, teasing though they both know things are anything but OK. At least they aren't outside. In here, just the two of them...it might be okay.
His smile widens as he shakes his head. He knows she thinks he means in general, but that's not the case at all. "I meant this." He looks down at their joined hands, giving hers a squeeze. He means this closeness. The woman would kill without the bat of a lash, but now that they're getting intimate, she seems absolutely terrified. Or maybe it's risidual from the day they've had, and this is the straw breaking the camel's back. "It's okay," he repeats, meeting her eyes in hopes she's catching his meaning.
Natasha knows she's too scared to think straight, she's been the one playing that game on people before, too. Abuse the weakness, exploit basic human decency to get what you want any way you can get it. It was all part of the job. Or at least it used to be.
She silently takes them to her apartment, which isn't much of a home. Tasha doesn't spend a lot of time there. There's a desk with work papers scattered on it, a small kitchen and living room and the bedroom and bathroom off to the side.
Natasha drops Bucky's hand once they're inside. She starts pacing the apartment nervously, unsure why she's feeling this way. The Skrulls, the lose of her inhibitions at the diner, the guilt of pushing Bucky like that? She's not sure why but she has an overwhelming urge to break down and cry.
She sinks down onto her sofa, burying her face in her hands. She can't let Bucky see her lose it like this, not after how foolishly she acted before. It's just...insane.
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But still...to see the strongest woman he knows, the woman who had been so in control when she’d been interrogating that Skrull...to see that woman break down like this sends him into a panic. “It’s gonna be okay,” he says as he rubs her shoulder, but he’s never been the best at comforting, and the gesture just comes across as awkward. “Not gonna let anything happen.” Even if he knows that the next morning, they’ll have to deal with the Skrull situation. For now, they can escape.
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"It's not gonna be OK." She picks her head up to look at him with tear reddened eyes. His hand on her shoulder isn't enough for her. Without hesitation she wraps her arms around him, perhaps too tightly for his injuries.
"You're one man." Tasha says with a sob. She's not saying it to belittle Bucky's ability but she saw what one lone Skrull did to him. What if there are hundreds, even thousands? Tasha's shaking like a leaf just thinking about it. She lifts her head up to look in his eyes. "We should run." Tasha chokes out, hating herself for even thinking it, let alone suggesting it.
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Tasha's glad he's remaining level headed about this, because she just can't.
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His confidence is enough to make her snap out of it, at least slightly. "Yeah. We will." She agrees before he kisses her temple. Tasha quickly turns her head, pressing her lips on his. There's no near violent desperation to it this time. It's tender, comforting. It's what she needs right now and she hopes he feels the same way. "Thank you for being brave when I'm not."
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Bucky doesn’t feel brave. He feels confused and, yeah, scared. But he’s also an optimist by nature, and can’t believe this won’t work out.
Now that he has permission to kiss her (and isn’t being all but assaulted), he closes the distance between them to kiss her again.
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Even if he's not brave, the attitude is enough to make her less afraid and more like her usual confident self. So much so that she get a little more aggressive, wrapping her fingers over his shoulders so she can pull herself into his lap. "You're still gonna stay with me tonight, aren't you?"
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She wraps her arms around him in turn, feeling his breathing against her chest, his pulse next to her skin. She swallows hard, that fear of what they'll have to face soon very real. But it's not as scary with him there.
"For what it's worth," Natasha whispers after a long while of silence. "There's no one else I'd rather survive the end of the world with than you."
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It's not about love or need or even infatuation. Not yet, but if they keep down this road it will be soon enough. If they don't end up dead before they get the chance.
All Tasha knows right now is he makes her better. He makes her feel again and that's something that caught her completely off guard. That excitement is clear in the way she kisses him, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull her body that much closer to his. Natasha's heart if racing, her hands are shaking and she doesn't even try to hide it from him.
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"Hey," he reassures with a small grin. "It's okay."
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But right now Tasha feels she doesn't have to do that. "Stop lying." She nips at his lip, teasing though they both know things are anything but OK. At least they aren't outside. In here, just the two of them...it might be okay.
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