SG1\\Forgiveness\\Whiskey\\PG-13
Title: Forgiveness
Author: kibou_sueshijuu
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Whiskey
Rating: PG-13, for language
Word Count:
Spoilers: 5x19: Menace
Challenge: n/a
Episode Tag: 5x19: Menace
Summary: Can Daniel find it within him to forgive Jack? [GAG - what an awful summary. anyone wanna suggest a better one?]
Warnings: n/a
Beta: n/a
Archive: AllDanielFic, here
Author's Notes: n/a
First, a loverly screencap from the end, just to get a feel for Daniel's anguish:
and now, the fic:
===============
After the debriefing, it was suggested that they all speak to one of the counselor’s on the base. Daniel really didn’t feel like talking about it anymore than he had already had to. Instead, he cleaned up, jumped into his jeep, and left the base without speaking to anyone.
He didn’t go home. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he didn’t want to go home. There was too much going on in his head. It was all he could do to keep himself from disintegrating into more tears.
He didn’t want to go to a bar; he didn’t feel like drinking, or sitting in a smokey corner somewhere. He didn’t want to go somewhere he’d be too alone, not into the woods or anything. He didn’t know how upset he was, what his anger and frustration would make him do if he was alone.
In the end, he just drove around for a few hours, until the fatigue of the day finally hit him and he had no choice but to stop. He briefly considered sleeping in a motel overnight, but he just sighed and turned left, heading back to his apartment building.
He almost reconsidered the motel when he saw a large truck parked in his parking spot. He swore under his breath, but parked on the street and strode over to the truck. Jack was asleep in the front seat. Checking his watch, Daniel realized it was after midnight. He didn’t want to know how long Jack had been waiting for him. He shook his head and turned, heading for the building.
He had only gone a few steps when he heard the door of the truck open, then slam shut. “Daniel!”
Daniel ignored him, and continued towards the building entrance. He continued to ignore him, even after Jack had caught up and was walking in step with him. He greeted the night doorman and, mostly to piss Jack off, took the stairs, rather than the elevator.
When they finally made it to the door of Daniel’s apartment, Daniel walked in, shutting the door behind him, leaving Jack out in the hall. He didn’t lock it, though, and he knew Jack knew it.
He stalked to his kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. A moment later, he heard the door open and click shut again. He downed the water, turning the glass upside down and crossed his eyes to watch the last drop slide down, until it disappeared below his vision, and he felt it slide across his lip.
When he lowered the glass, Jack was staring at him from across the kitchen. Daniel plunked the glass down on the counter, in front of the breadbox. He crosses his arms and pursed his lips, staring at Jack and saying nothing.
Jack looked supremely uncomfortable. He shifted his weight to his other foot and glanced around the room. He shoves his hands deeper into his back pockets, and then removed them. After flailing them about for a moment, he crossed them, and then uncrossed them, finally letting them fall to his sides.
Daniel stayed quiet. He had already said all he needed to, back in the gateroom. Stupid, son of a bitch. Part of him hated that Jack had seen him cry, but most of him - the mature, grown-up part - didn’t care.
Thinking about Reese lying there, lifeless and unmoving, caused a burning in his eyes, and damn it, he didn’t need to start crying again now. Jack winced at the sight of tears welling up in Daniel’s eyes again.
“Daniel,” he finally managed, quietly; gently. Daniel just stared at him, trying to stop his chin from quivering. “Daniel,” Jack continued, “I’m sorry.”
Daniel broke. “You killed her! You fucking killed her, Jack!” he rasped out in an attempt to speak without sobbing. “She was - she was -“ he struggled to find his words, his hands flailing in the air as he tried to think. Jack wanted to interrupt, but bit his tongue. “She was just a little girl,” Daniel finally whispered. Tears finally spilled over onto his cheeks.
Jack finally crossed the kitchen, and wrapped his arms around Daniel, who buried his face in his neck, and sobbed. Jack rubbed his back slowly, gently, and remained silent. Nothing he said would change anything, and Daniel had to be the one to decide where to go from here, to decide whether or not to forgive.
Author: kibou_sueshijuu
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Whiskey
Rating: PG-13, for language
Word Count:
Spoilers: 5x19: Menace
Challenge: n/a
Episode Tag: 5x19: Menace
Summary: Can Daniel find it within him to forgive Jack? [GAG - what an awful summary. anyone wanna suggest a better one?]
Warnings: n/a
Beta: n/a
Archive: AllDanielFic, here
Author's Notes: n/a
First, a loverly screencap from the end, just to get a feel for Daniel's anguish:
and now, the fic:
===============
After the debriefing, it was suggested that they all speak to one of the counselor’s on the base. Daniel really didn’t feel like talking about it anymore than he had already had to. Instead, he cleaned up, jumped into his jeep, and left the base without speaking to anyone.
He didn’t go home. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he didn’t want to go home. There was too much going on in his head. It was all he could do to keep himself from disintegrating into more tears.
He didn’t want to go to a bar; he didn’t feel like drinking, or sitting in a smokey corner somewhere. He didn’t want to go somewhere he’d be too alone, not into the woods or anything. He didn’t know how upset he was, what his anger and frustration would make him do if he was alone.
In the end, he just drove around for a few hours, until the fatigue of the day finally hit him and he had no choice but to stop. He briefly considered sleeping in a motel overnight, but he just sighed and turned left, heading back to his apartment building.
He almost reconsidered the motel when he saw a large truck parked in his parking spot. He swore under his breath, but parked on the street and strode over to the truck. Jack was asleep in the front seat. Checking his watch, Daniel realized it was after midnight. He didn’t want to know how long Jack had been waiting for him. He shook his head and turned, heading for the building.
He had only gone a few steps when he heard the door of the truck open, then slam shut. “Daniel!”
Daniel ignored him, and continued towards the building entrance. He continued to ignore him, even after Jack had caught up and was walking in step with him. He greeted the night doorman and, mostly to piss Jack off, took the stairs, rather than the elevator.
When they finally made it to the door of Daniel’s apartment, Daniel walked in, shutting the door behind him, leaving Jack out in the hall. He didn’t lock it, though, and he knew Jack knew it.
He stalked to his kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. A moment later, he heard the door open and click shut again. He downed the water, turning the glass upside down and crossed his eyes to watch the last drop slide down, until it disappeared below his vision, and he felt it slide across his lip.
When he lowered the glass, Jack was staring at him from across the kitchen. Daniel plunked the glass down on the counter, in front of the breadbox. He crosses his arms and pursed his lips, staring at Jack and saying nothing.
Jack looked supremely uncomfortable. He shifted his weight to his other foot and glanced around the room. He shoves his hands deeper into his back pockets, and then removed them. After flailing them about for a moment, he crossed them, and then uncrossed them, finally letting them fall to his sides.
Daniel stayed quiet. He had already said all he needed to, back in the gateroom. Stupid, son of a bitch. Part of him hated that Jack had seen him cry, but most of him - the mature, grown-up part - didn’t care.
Thinking about Reese lying there, lifeless and unmoving, caused a burning in his eyes, and damn it, he didn’t need to start crying again now. Jack winced at the sight of tears welling up in Daniel’s eyes again.
“Daniel,” he finally managed, quietly; gently. Daniel just stared at him, trying to stop his chin from quivering. “Daniel,” Jack continued, “I’m sorry.”
Daniel broke. “You killed her! You fucking killed her, Jack!” he rasped out in an attempt to speak without sobbing. “She was - she was -“ he struggled to find his words, his hands flailing in the air as he tried to think. Jack wanted to interrupt, but bit his tongue. “She was just a little girl,” Daniel finally whispered. Tears finally spilled over onto his cheeks.
Jack finally crossed the kitchen, and wrapped his arms around Daniel, who buried his face in his neck, and sobbed. Jack rubbed his back slowly, gently, and remained silent. Nothing he said would change anything, and Daniel had to be the one to decide where to go from here, to decide whether or not to forgive.