RoS Update
I've written 16 and a half chapters, but the story has taken a different turn, so I'm not sure how long this new version will be. I thought I had an idea, but then the story went in a different direction.
I had forgotten what it was to write. It's such an interesting experience. I feel the emotions of the characters intensely. I'm not the sort of person to cry, but I've been crying more writing this story than I have in years.
Sometimes it's really hard and I hate it. I get mad at the characters for being stubborn. I get mad at myself for the poor quality of what I'm putting out. I worry that I'm making the story worse. I try to remember Stephen King's advice from On Writing: "Stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position."
I'm trying to write while I have the inspiration. I just write forward, even if it's not good. Sometimes I throw away what I've done. I spent a whole day writing chapter 16, and then threw it away at the end of the day and took a hard turn the next day. I hope that the new version is better. It feels true, but I'm not sure that it is.
My problems arise when I try to write the story instead of letting the story tell itself. At the same time, I worry I'm not capturing these characters as they are meant to be, and that I'm telling a story with a different, not accurate to my OG story Harry and Severus.
I've read NoG and Invictus twice now, but I still catch myself making little mistakes in my own canon. For example, I forgot that Harry knew about Severus's patronus. I fixed it, but I'm frustrated with how much canon - both official and my own - I forgot.
Since it's turning into such a different story, I'm going to leave the original up. Maybe I'll finish that off in a different way. Then there can be two versions.
I think I'm 3/4 through, but I honestly don't know. I remember being afraid that they wouldn't fall in love with each other when writing NoG/Invictus. There was a part in Invictus where I was so frustrated when Severus seemed determined not to fall in love with Harry, but he did. He did in spite of his best efforts otherwise.
I read a comment (I know, don't read the comments) on reddit where someone said that RoS read more like fanfiction of NoG/Invictus rather than an actual continuation of the work. I agree. I think I wanted to smoosh them together more than they were ready to be together. I think that's why I could never finish it. I cringe looking at it now.
It's been cathartic to write it though. I'm writing for myself this time. I'm writing the story I needed to hear back then.