My first story on LJ! Yay!
Okay, so I wrote this story, because my roommate and I, Melissa, were talking about how frickin' hilarious it would be to have Roy and Jean take the place of Emba and Yuuen, two characters from a Yaoi Manga titled Wild Rock (You can find it on Mangafox.com if you really want to). First of all, Jean and Roy in loincloths. Nuff said. Anyway, it's pretty random, pretty crazy, and yes, I do enjoy RoyxJean. XP Oh, and yes, Riza is trying to film a Yaoi Movie. Cause you know, we all know she would totally do that. She's a closet fan! <.< >.>
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist fandom.
Characters: Roy, Jean, Riza, Breda, Fuery, Falman, Lion from the zoo #1
Rated: G
Warnings: Crazyness.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa, not me. I will be as poor after writing this as I was before I started it.
'Jean, hurry up and throw it! It’s going to strike!’ Heymans Breda yelled at the top of his lungs while the monstrous lion rushed towards the 2nd Lieutenant, a malicious gleam blazing in it’s eyes.
‘I’ll…I’ll never…You’re going down sucker!’ Jean Havoc yelled as he lunged forward towards the beast, a wide grin of excitement plastered across his face. In his haste to reach the lion, he hardly noticed that he had shoved his Colonel, Roy Mustang, off to the side, the smaller man falling into the background of the scene with an audible ‘oof’ as he took a few of the fake tropical plants with him.
‘Cut!’ Riza Hawkeye yelled as she rose to her feet, her voice stopping Jean dead in his tracks, much to the relief of the now terrified lion they had borrowed from a nearby family zoo. With a heavy sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose while Fuery and Falman helped Mustang to his feet. ‘Havoc, for the hundredth time , you are not the one who defeats the lion. That’s the colonel’s job. He swoops dramatically in to save the incompetent warrior. And that’s you.’
‘But…but it’s just too hard to resist! Standing around doing nothing just isn’t my style!’
‘Well then make it your style!’ Roy said with a growl as he made his way to Riza’s side, Fuery still adamantly brushing the dust off his shoulder.
‘Oh come on, the role fits you so much better Sir. Like you’d ever be able to do anything against something so tough,’ Jean said with a smile as his blue eyes sparkled with amusement.
‘Are you trying to hint at something 2nd lieutenant?’ Roy said, his voice calm, though his eyes were nearly raging as he began to pull his gloves on.
‘Maybe I am Sir,’ Jean said slowly, allowing his words to sink in. ‘You should be playing the roll of the useless warrior.’
‘Oh, I’ll show you useless!’ Roy snarled before he snapped his fingers together, the motion sending a formidable wave of fire towards Havoc and the Lion. With a loud yelp Jean jumped out of the path of the flames, the Lion behind him doing the same as it roared it’s fear. ‘Stop moving dammit!’ Roy yelled as he continued his assault, the plastic palm trees and jungle bushes, along with most the rest of the set already a blazing heap of destruction. Everywhere, men and women ran for their lives amidst the scorching heat, while Colonel Roy Mustang’s subordinates, excluding Havoc of course, simply watched the scene unfold with a frightening familiarity.
‘Shit, who the hell you tryin’ to hit, me or the lion!?’ Jean yelled as he dodged a dangerously close burst of red fire moments before his blond hair could ignite.
‘I’ve never been one to complain about killing two birds with one stone!’ Roy said with a malicious laugh. When he heard the sound of a gun chamber snapping shut behind him, his amusement died off mid laugh. Slowly, he turned to face Hawkeye, and despite himself, he could almost see his life flashing before his eyes. ‘Y-yes Lieutenant?’ he asked as he forced an innocent smile.
‘You’re ruining my movie Sir,’ she said simply as her even eyes remained on him, not fooled for a moment by his charming expression.
‘I was…I was simply trying to kill the lion. It says in the script that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?’ he said, his smile growing.
Without another word Riza grabbed Roy by the ear and began to drag him towards the changing rooms. ‘Havoc! Follow!’ she snapped without turning. With a gulp and a quick salute, Havoc followed Hawkeye and his currently degraded colonel. When they reached the room with a red door and a little green star bearing name ‘Roy Mustang’ in the center, she stopped and released Roy, who’s ear was now nearly scarlet. ‘Get changed,’ she said as she pointed to the door, her other hand moving to her hip.
With a deep scowl, Roy trudged into his room while Jean quickly shuffled into his own designated changing area, needing no instructions from Hawkeye to do so. Feeling his hair once again just to make sure it was still there, Jean took the costume he was supposed to wear from it’s case. As he glanced it over, his ears and his face went a deep shade of crimson; it was nothing more then a tight, skimpy leopard print loincloth. Glancing around, he quickly decided that facing Hawkeye’s wrath for not wearing the thing would be far worse then any embarrassment he was going to otherwise suffer. Once he had finished, he made his way to the room’s single, full sized mirror, and despite the oddity of the situation, he grinned at his almost naked form while he struck a pose. He was in the middle of pondering whether or not wearing something like this would improve his luck with the women when he heard a loud commotion from the Colonel's room. Quickly grabbing an unlit cigarette from the cheap dresser, he left his room and went into Mustang's, curious about the commotion, though he had a feeling he knew exactly what was happening.
‘I am not going to wear a loincloth!’ Roy was insisting as Jean stepped into the room. Jean was unable see Hawkeye's face, her back was to the door, but he could tell from her posture that she was very displeased with this announcement.
‘Sir, I’ve explained this to you already. You have to wear it. Emba is a tribal warrior in a society where all men wear loincloths. It is necessary!'
‘No!’
‘Bu-‘
‘No!’
‘Sir you’re no-‘
‘No!’ Roy kept his interruptions coming as he crossed his arms, his usual deep scowl etched solidly into his features. By this time, Fuery, Falman, and Breda had joined Havoc in watching the rather amusing scene unfold.
‘Would you just-‘
‘No!’
‘Come on Hawkeye, it’s useless, he’s not going to wear that thing, and we all know it,’ Jean said from around his still unlit cigarette. ‘I’m going to go change out of this, before anyone else see’s me,’ he said as he turned to make his way back into his changing room, where the safety of normal, decent clothing waited patiently for his return.
‘At least someone around here has some,’ Mustang started as he turned to Havoc; at seeing the younger man walk away in his revealing costume, he had nearly lost his ability to speak. ‘…sense…’ he finished breathlessly. ‘...I believe I will assist Havoc…wouldn’t want him to have any…difficulties getting dressed…’ he murmured as he started off towards his subordinates dressing room, leaving in his wake a very shocked Hawkeye, a highly disturbed Breda, and the hopelessly confused Fuery and Falman, the two men now contemplating the unknown difficulties that must come along with changing out of a loincloth.
There! Hope that was at least somewhat amusing. I know I certainly had fun writing it, and imagining it too. XD Oh, and on a side note, this was my very first Fanfiction! Go me!
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist fandom.
Characters: Roy, Jean, Riza, Breda, Fuery, Falman, Lion from the zoo #1
Rated: G
Warnings: Crazyness.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa, not me. I will be as poor after writing this as I was before I started it.
'Jean, hurry up and throw it! It’s going to strike!’ Heymans Breda yelled at the top of his lungs while the monstrous lion rushed towards the 2nd Lieutenant, a malicious gleam blazing in it’s eyes.
‘I’ll…I’ll never…You’re going down sucker!’ Jean Havoc yelled as he lunged forward towards the beast, a wide grin of excitement plastered across his face. In his haste to reach the lion, he hardly noticed that he had shoved his Colonel, Roy Mustang, off to the side, the smaller man falling into the background of the scene with an audible ‘oof’ as he took a few of the fake tropical plants with him.
‘Cut!’ Riza Hawkeye yelled as she rose to her feet, her voice stopping Jean dead in his tracks, much to the relief of the now terrified lion they had borrowed from a nearby family zoo. With a heavy sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose while Fuery and Falman helped Mustang to his feet. ‘Havoc, for the hundredth time , you are not the one who defeats the lion. That’s the colonel’s job. He swoops dramatically in to save the incompetent warrior. And that’s you.’
‘But…but it’s just too hard to resist! Standing around doing nothing just isn’t my style!’
‘Well then make it your style!’ Roy said with a growl as he made his way to Riza’s side, Fuery still adamantly brushing the dust off his shoulder.
‘Oh come on, the role fits you so much better Sir. Like you’d ever be able to do anything against something so tough,’ Jean said with a smile as his blue eyes sparkled with amusement.
‘Are you trying to hint at something 2nd lieutenant?’ Roy said, his voice calm, though his eyes were nearly raging as he began to pull his gloves on.
‘Maybe I am Sir,’ Jean said slowly, allowing his words to sink in. ‘You should be playing the roll of the useless warrior.’
‘Oh, I’ll show you useless!’ Roy snarled before he snapped his fingers together, the motion sending a formidable wave of fire towards Havoc and the Lion. With a loud yelp Jean jumped out of the path of the flames, the Lion behind him doing the same as it roared it’s fear. ‘Stop moving dammit!’ Roy yelled as he continued his assault, the plastic palm trees and jungle bushes, along with most the rest of the set already a blazing heap of destruction. Everywhere, men and women ran for their lives amidst the scorching heat, while Colonel Roy Mustang’s subordinates, excluding Havoc of course, simply watched the scene unfold with a frightening familiarity.
‘Shit, who the hell you tryin’ to hit, me or the lion!?’ Jean yelled as he dodged a dangerously close burst of red fire moments before his blond hair could ignite.
‘I’ve never been one to complain about killing two birds with one stone!’ Roy said with a malicious laugh. When he heard the sound of a gun chamber snapping shut behind him, his amusement died off mid laugh. Slowly, he turned to face Hawkeye, and despite himself, he could almost see his life flashing before his eyes. ‘Y-yes Lieutenant?’ he asked as he forced an innocent smile.
‘You’re ruining my movie Sir,’ she said simply as her even eyes remained on him, not fooled for a moment by his charming expression.
‘I was…I was simply trying to kill the lion. It says in the script that’s what I’m supposed to do, right?’ he said, his smile growing.
Without another word Riza grabbed Roy by the ear and began to drag him towards the changing rooms. ‘Havoc! Follow!’ she snapped without turning. With a gulp and a quick salute, Havoc followed Hawkeye and his currently degraded colonel. When they reached the room with a red door and a little green star bearing name ‘Roy Mustang’ in the center, she stopped and released Roy, who’s ear was now nearly scarlet. ‘Get changed,’ she said as she pointed to the door, her other hand moving to her hip.
With a deep scowl, Roy trudged into his room while Jean quickly shuffled into his own designated changing area, needing no instructions from Hawkeye to do so. Feeling his hair once again just to make sure it was still there, Jean took the costume he was supposed to wear from it’s case. As he glanced it over, his ears and his face went a deep shade of crimson; it was nothing more then a tight, skimpy leopard print loincloth. Glancing around, he quickly decided that facing Hawkeye’s wrath for not wearing the thing would be far worse then any embarrassment he was going to otherwise suffer. Once he had finished, he made his way to the room’s single, full sized mirror, and despite the oddity of the situation, he grinned at his almost naked form while he struck a pose. He was in the middle of pondering whether or not wearing something like this would improve his luck with the women when he heard a loud commotion from the Colonel's room. Quickly grabbing an unlit cigarette from the cheap dresser, he left his room and went into Mustang's, curious about the commotion, though he had a feeling he knew exactly what was happening.
‘I am not going to wear a loincloth!’ Roy was insisting as Jean stepped into the room. Jean was unable see Hawkeye's face, her back was to the door, but he could tell from her posture that she was very displeased with this announcement.
‘Sir, I’ve explained this to you already. You have to wear it. Emba is a tribal warrior in a society where all men wear loincloths. It is necessary!'
‘No!’
‘Bu-‘
‘No!’
‘Sir you’re no-‘
‘No!’ Roy kept his interruptions coming as he crossed his arms, his usual deep scowl etched solidly into his features. By this time, Fuery, Falman, and Breda had joined Havoc in watching the rather amusing scene unfold.
‘Would you just-‘
‘No!’
‘Come on Hawkeye, it’s useless, he’s not going to wear that thing, and we all know it,’ Jean said from around his still unlit cigarette. ‘I’m going to go change out of this, before anyone else see’s me,’ he said as he turned to make his way back into his changing room, where the safety of normal, decent clothing waited patiently for his return.
‘At least someone around here has some,’ Mustang started as he turned to Havoc; at seeing the younger man walk away in his revealing costume, he had nearly lost his ability to speak. ‘…sense…’ he finished breathlessly. ‘...I believe I will assist Havoc…wouldn’t want him to have any…difficulties getting dressed…’ he murmured as he started off towards his subordinates dressing room, leaving in his wake a very shocked Hawkeye, a highly disturbed Breda, and the hopelessly confused Fuery and Falman, the two men now contemplating the unknown difficulties that must come along with changing out of a loincloth.
There! Hope that was at least somewhat amusing. I know I certainly had fun writing it, and imagining it too. XD Oh, and on a side note, this was my very first Fanfiction! Go me!