so, lately....
So, lately I've wondered "who I am." It's a strange feeling to no know who you are, or think you know and change your mind. What do I want?
One of the biggest questions facing me today is "where do -I- want to live?" I could live anywhere, I don't have anyone telling me "we're moving, you're coming, we leave in a month." I moved 3 times last year alone, not content where I was at first and finally moving into a place in which I felt comfortable. I am feeling a bit strangled in Syracuse. I applied for a job recently, and found out Saturday that I didn't get it. To me, that job symbolized "my way out" of Rite Aid and the slump I feel I'm in. But I'm realizing that in this whole "finding myself" thing, a bank job probably isnt the best place as I express myself.
I've been watching way too many of thse "what not to wear"-esque shows. I still dress as haphazardly as always, but I at least try to put thought into it. I try to put on makeup in the morning, wear jewelry (I migt not dress right but I can accessorize with the best of them, so I'm told), make sure my socks match and if they don't make sure my pants or shoes cover them. I want to look good. I am learning to work with what I have.
I am going to look for another job, obviously, since I am still struggling with paying everything off right now. I was in a car accident a few weeks ago, and as it is I'm working right now to pay off the previous loan before I can get a new one. God's reminding me he's watching out for me, I should be able to pay it off real soon. Which will help a -lot- with my credit, paying off a five year loan in one. Thank you taxes, I'll remember this when I have to pay you instead.
So, now I'm going to go downstairs, put some makeup on, try not to poke myself in the eye with eyeliner, put my hair up, remember to tell myself I look hot (I still can't believe we use that word as freely as we do), and find something to do that will probably involve cross-stitching my mom's christmas present from last year. Yeah, you heard right.
Pardone.
One of the biggest questions facing me today is "where do -I- want to live?" I could live anywhere, I don't have anyone telling me "we're moving, you're coming, we leave in a month." I moved 3 times last year alone, not content where I was at first and finally moving into a place in which I felt comfortable. I am feeling a bit strangled in Syracuse. I applied for a job recently, and found out Saturday that I didn't get it. To me, that job symbolized "my way out" of Rite Aid and the slump I feel I'm in. But I'm realizing that in this whole "finding myself" thing, a bank job probably isnt the best place as I express myself.
I've been watching way too many of thse "what not to wear"-esque shows. I still dress as haphazardly as always, but I at least try to put thought into it. I try to put on makeup in the morning, wear jewelry (I migt not dress right but I can accessorize with the best of them, so I'm told), make sure my socks match and if they don't make sure my pants or shoes cover them. I want to look good. I am learning to work with what I have.
I am going to look for another job, obviously, since I am still struggling with paying everything off right now. I was in a car accident a few weeks ago, and as it is I'm working right now to pay off the previous loan before I can get a new one. God's reminding me he's watching out for me, I should be able to pay it off real soon. Which will help a -lot- with my credit, paying off a five year loan in one. Thank you taxes, I'll remember this when I have to pay you instead.
So, now I'm going to go downstairs, put some makeup on, try not to poke myself in the eye with eyeliner, put my hair up, remember to tell myself I look hot (I still can't believe we use that word as freely as we do), and find something to do that will probably involve cross-stitching my mom's christmas present from last year. Yeah, you heard right.
Pardone.