depression

[kiari_n_ookami]

sorry that i havent updated in a while its just that i have been rreally depressed and i have had already to emotional break downs and i dsont kno wat to do....i dont kno who i am anymore....ive been such a bitch lately that i dont kno wat to do.........callie is being a bitch and on top of that friends are coming to me with their problems and i have problems of my own right now that i dont kno how to handle....maybe it would just be for the best that i just disappear...im sure no one will miss me...its not like ive done anything worth living for........

i guess the reason why im lie this is that i miss my brother and all and that it also has to deal with matt...i mean i was happy with him and my friends ekpt pushing me to break up with him so i did......and this is my ex for a long tim e now and i thought that i would be over him but i guess not...i guess i just realized how much he means to me until now.....ever since i wen tout with his friend i realized that i need him but i cant ask him again...i mean i kno i can but i wont he has suffered and i wont do that to him again.....and besides he likes this girl named anna and i think he has either asked her out or will and i wont mess that up for him......i just wish i could tell him this to him but i cant...i wouldnt be able to look at him in the eyes....i would stat to cry like i am now......so i guess thats it ill talk to u guys later..........