afraid
I had a scary thought just now.
What if I end up like my uncle?
From what I've heard from my dad, my uncle is addicted to gambling and is always asking for money from family and friends; his current whereabouts are unknown, but he calls home now and then to tell everyone he's okay. He's probably hiding from loan sharks or something. He is probably considered the black sheep of the family.
If I remain the way I am right now, it's easy for me to see myself walking the same path as my uncle. I always joke with my little sis about moving in with her whenever I get evicted out of my apartment, but--it's not a joke. It's a harsh reality and painfully possible. I don't want to be that kind of person--someone like my uncle. I know I'm not. I know I could be a decent person, somewhat well off; I just seem to ignore the opportunities, ignore the advice, and I just continue to dig my own grave one shovelful at a time.
I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be stupid. I don't want to be considered a failure. I don't want to be considered "the one who never succeeded." I don't want my parents to worry, to fret, to pray, to forsake me. I don't want my sister to coddle me.
I wish I wasn't always like this.
What if I end up like my uncle?
From what I've heard from my dad, my uncle is addicted to gambling and is always asking for money from family and friends; his current whereabouts are unknown, but he calls home now and then to tell everyone he's okay. He's probably hiding from loan sharks or something. He is probably considered the black sheep of the family.
If I remain the way I am right now, it's easy for me to see myself walking the same path as my uncle. I always joke with my little sis about moving in with her whenever I get evicted out of my apartment, but--it's not a joke. It's a harsh reality and painfully possible. I don't want to be that kind of person--someone like my uncle. I know I'm not. I know I could be a decent person, somewhat well off; I just seem to ignore the opportunities, ignore the advice, and I just continue to dig my own grave one shovelful at a time.
I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be stupid. I don't want to be considered a failure. I don't want to be considered "the one who never succeeded." I don't want my parents to worry, to fret, to pray, to forsake me. I don't want my sister to coddle me.
I wish I wasn't always like this.