(no subject)
You know what I hate?
I hate it when people pressure me into things. Just because of something that happened years ago, they say that it's my fault when they were the ones that started it in the first place. I mean yeah, I guess it is my fault that I let them go on with it... But honestly, three years ago was a long time. I admit that I was naive and stupid. I admit I'm still naive and stupid, but that doesn't mean I like doing what I did then, now.
I'm not going to say what I did. Very few of my friends know and if I said it now and the fact that I still feel pressured to do it now, it would hurt a few of my closest friends and I don't want that to happen and if they ever find out. This probably won't be enough but I apologise. I don't mean to do any of it. I hate the type of person I was then and I hate what it does to me now.
To put it in slightly general terms, three years ago I did something stupid. I know now that I should have stopped it before it went too far. A year ago somewhere along the lines, a smiliar thing happened, but not with the same person.
If I said all this to those people now they would probably glare at me and say something like "What the fuck are you on about? This IS your fault in the first place."
But if they ever see this, this is what I want them to know. They were the ones that started this in the first place. I was just dumb enough not to stop them. The fact that they act like addicts now isn't my fault. It IS something that you can do without. It's not like drugs or anything like that, it's not a need. It's just a want for it.
The fact that you keep on telling me that you want it and that it's my JOB to give it to you because I PROMISE even though it's just you placing the guilt trip on me just plainly PISSES ME OFF.
This is my life. It doesn't rotate around EITHER of you. My hobbies and who knows about them are my business. If you happen to stumble upon them then that's your problem and if I'm going to stop then I WILL STOP. I will NOT listen to either of you and start up again just because you want me to.
I've had enough on my mind already. Have you ever thought that I have my own life. My life is full of so many problems and so many issues that it's not even funny. You can't even imagine what I have to go through physically and mentally every single FUCKING day.
I'm sick of people trying to change me into what they want me to be. What they THINK I should be. I am now who I was two years ago. I'm not the same person that I was last year and right now. I'm starting to hate men more than I used to.
I hate it when people pressure me into things. Just because of something that happened years ago, they say that it's my fault when they were the ones that started it in the first place. I mean yeah, I guess it is my fault that I let them go on with it... But honestly, three years ago was a long time. I admit that I was naive and stupid. I admit I'm still naive and stupid, but that doesn't mean I like doing what I did then, now.
I'm not going to say what I did. Very few of my friends know and if I said it now and the fact that I still feel pressured to do it now, it would hurt a few of my closest friends and I don't want that to happen and if they ever find out. This probably won't be enough but I apologise. I don't mean to do any of it. I hate the type of person I was then and I hate what it does to me now.
To put it in slightly general terms, three years ago I did something stupid. I know now that I should have stopped it before it went too far. A year ago somewhere along the lines, a smiliar thing happened, but not with the same person.
If I said all this to those people now they would probably glare at me and say something like "What the fuck are you on about? This IS your fault in the first place."
But if they ever see this, this is what I want them to know. They were the ones that started this in the first place. I was just dumb enough not to stop them. The fact that they act like addicts now isn't my fault. It IS something that you can do without. It's not like drugs or anything like that, it's not a need. It's just a want for it.
The fact that you keep on telling me that you want it and that it's my JOB to give it to you because I PROMISE even though it's just you placing the guilt trip on me just plainly PISSES ME OFF.
This is my life. It doesn't rotate around EITHER of you. My hobbies and who knows about them are my business. If you happen to stumble upon them then that's your problem and if I'm going to stop then I WILL STOP. I will NOT listen to either of you and start up again just because you want me to.
I've had enough on my mind already. Have you ever thought that I have my own life. My life is full of so many problems and so many issues that it's not even funny. You can't even imagine what I have to go through physically and mentally every single FUCKING day.
I'm sick of people trying to change me into what they want me to be. What they THINK I should be. I am now who I was two years ago. I'm not the same person that I was last year and right now. I'm starting to hate men more than I used to.