She's still here
I didn't think I would need a break writing my paper that's due tomorrow but when I went to but my caffeine glass in the kitchen I saw a single piece of dog kibble under the filing cabinet and I don't know it just hurts. It made me think of all the little things that happen when I'm at the apartment. I get in my room thinking she'll still be in the corner, she's not there. When I close the door to my room I swear I can hear her breathing at the door wanting to come in. And for some reason I open the door. Why?
I've still been sick, my nose just won't stop and I still quite a bit of a cough.
The kibble really did me in because when I saw it I wondered if mom got rid of the bag of dog food in the pantry. She did
I picked up the kibble piece to find ants feasting on it. I tossed it out. it was just a kibble why does it feel so painful?
it's like no matter how much they try to make it look like she wasn't here she's still here. she is.
Why is it that when I write it just makes me feel worse? It's like thinking to much only you can re-read your painful thoughts.
Edit: 11/27/07
~ I don't think I had the opportunity to say that a few weeks after this post I had a dream. I don't remember really anything about it except that my dog Foxy came to visit me as happy as ever; I knew what this was, she was saying goodbye. It felt good afterwards, I knew she was ok and that ghostly feeling in the apartment stopped. I mean being in the apartment still reminds me of her at times but it's not like she's there lingering in death anymore. I'll always remember my Foxy. She was my best friend. I'm happy to know that she's ok now. ^_^
I've still been sick, my nose just won't stop and I still quite a bit of a cough.
The kibble really did me in because when I saw it I wondered if mom got rid of the bag of dog food in the pantry. She did
I picked up the kibble piece to find ants feasting on it. I tossed it out. it was just a kibble why does it feel so painful?
it's like no matter how much they try to make it look like she wasn't here she's still here. she is.
Why is it that when I write it just makes me feel worse? It's like thinking to much only you can re-read your painful thoughts.
Edit: 11/27/07
~ I don't think I had the opportunity to say that a few weeks after this post I had a dream. I don't remember really anything about it except that my dog Foxy came to visit me as happy as ever; I knew what this was, she was saying goodbye. It felt good afterwards, I knew she was ok and that ghostly feeling in the apartment stopped. I mean being in the apartment still reminds me of her at times but it's not like she's there lingering in death anymore. I'll always remember my Foxy. She was my best friend. I'm happy to know that she's ok now. ^_^