(no subject)

May 13, 2006 00:23

I saw Thank You for Smoking with Meredith tonight. It was pretty sweet.
It feels like I'm missing something. I don't know why. I feel distant and lonely, like a lot of my friendships are crap. It's weird. Meredith is cool, I'm not talking about Meredith. I just feels really chaotic.
And now I think of a line from that movie "it's very complex" and the little boy says "is it? or are you making it complex to feel sorry for yourself? that's not your job" and then he says something about how if you want to feel sorry for yourself, the job to get is Red Cross.
I must be making it complex.
It's not like I'm spending hours wondering about this anyway. I just think of it every now and then, and now is when I'm thinking about it---at random. I was looking at myspace pictures (sorry) and I dunno, I was thinking about those pictures where people have all these good times with their friends.
But maybe they don't. Or maybe a lot of those people don't even like their friends, they just have a lot. Or there are never good times like that always.
I have to get established on something.
I worked... went home, slept until 7-ish. Called Chris to see if he wanted to do something, he didn't answer. Went online... all that, checked email, Meredith asked if I wanted to go to a movie, so we did... I got home around eleven-ish and sat down and watched SVU. That was my day, entirely.
I DIDN'T do much. And I don't care. Hahaha. It's excellent.
Tomorrow I have this thing for Girl Scouts and I don't want to go because I remembered about a day ago that I don't like most of the girls in LOST and that they're mean, rude, selfish, and ... well, they just don't like me either. That's always a downer. Whatever, I've always had this obstacle in almost my entire life of existing... I just don't like be voluntary about disappointment though it may seem that way at times.

I can type 92 words per minutes SOMETIMES, otherwise about 70.

-aj-
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