(no subject)
I feel pretty shitty.
I was really mad at Robert and I was bitching him out and I could see in his eyes how much he just wanted to yell at me. And I wish he would have. But I can't blame anyone for not wanting confrontation. I don't understand him. I realized how much I don't care that he must hate me. I think I got really mad at him in the first place because he's being really mean to Casey. Casey has tried so hard to be friends with him and keep a good relationship. But he really just keeps blocking her out.
That's just what you do though. Even if you don't want to be friends with someone. It's extraordinarily mean to just block them out. I can't imagine living with yourself. I'm fucking mad at the asshole and I tried my best to be really nice to him tonight. And he..., wow, just... where the fuck is the decency? Have I done something to be treated like this.
What the hell was I thinking this year to make new friends like this. It was so stupid. Every friend so far seems to have been a bad idea with the exception of people like Ashley or Adam and Jake... because like that, that its' like, I look back at the fun we had and I smile.
I can't help but smile.
I've never had so many shitty friendships. It feels like a big fucking train wreck of ridiculous-ness.
I can drive though. I feel like this is a solution. I don't have to depend on anyone anymore. Just myself. It's me. me and my car and my jo and my school and grades. It sounds angsty, but how much does anyone I know really care?
Maybe I'm being lame.
Well, I know I am.
People don't show that they care unless it's necessary. I try to surprise people and make them feel loved all the time, as much as possible. I'm apparently a failure though.
Not cool enough.
Not nothing enough.
Sorry, that was a sad note. In truth I've had an amazing week. Amazing .
I can't wait for that paycheck.
I can't wait until Friday to go to Chicago with ashley. It'll be effing amazing.
AMAZING.
I love Chicago.
-aj-
I was really mad at Robert and I was bitching him out and I could see in his eyes how much he just wanted to yell at me. And I wish he would have. But I can't blame anyone for not wanting confrontation. I don't understand him. I realized how much I don't care that he must hate me. I think I got really mad at him in the first place because he's being really mean to Casey. Casey has tried so hard to be friends with him and keep a good relationship. But he really just keeps blocking her out.
That's just what you do though. Even if you don't want to be friends with someone. It's extraordinarily mean to just block them out. I can't imagine living with yourself. I'm fucking mad at the asshole and I tried my best to be really nice to him tonight. And he..., wow, just... where the fuck is the decency? Have I done something to be treated like this.
What the hell was I thinking this year to make new friends like this. It was so stupid. Every friend so far seems to have been a bad idea with the exception of people like Ashley or Adam and Jake... because like that, that its' like, I look back at the fun we had and I smile.
I can't help but smile.
I've never had so many shitty friendships. It feels like a big fucking train wreck of ridiculous-ness.
I can drive though. I feel like this is a solution. I don't have to depend on anyone anymore. Just myself. It's me. me and my car and my jo and my school and grades. It sounds angsty, but how much does anyone I know really care?
Maybe I'm being lame.
Well, I know I am.
People don't show that they care unless it's necessary. I try to surprise people and make them feel loved all the time, as much as possible. I'm apparently a failure though.
Not cool enough.
Not nothing enough.
Sorry, that was a sad note. In truth I've had an amazing week. Amazing .
I can't wait for that paycheck.
I can't wait until Friday to go to Chicago with ashley. It'll be effing amazing.
AMAZING.
I love Chicago.
-aj-