(no subject)
i'm only friends with people who i actually know in person on livejournal. or used to know. i still wonder what they're all up to. livejournal, i'm sure, is nowhere near everything you all are going through. you probably leave a few things out. both good and bad. the things that make you happy, sad, mad. a secret. or something you notice about yourself and would be plain to see if you'd only point it out to the people who know you well enough to see what you were talking about.
just me talking.
i look back on the past few years and i remember all these people who i used to be so close to. i can name a few in a second right now if i had to.
so i look back and i think
yeah things change, people change, as often as the weather.
but when people change
why do they lose touch with someone they used to think about every day?
some of you i can live without
and i mean that in any way that won't make me sound like an ass hole.
but others.
the ex girlfriend who i'm stuck in this awkward place with, but we're too close to totally say bye.
the ex BESTfriend who moved to arizona and i've only talked to for minutes since then, but for some reason we don't admit that we miss eachother.
it's almost like a what do you call it?
like
you can't say you have real friends unless you've lost some along the way
whether because you just lost touch
or something happened to force a change.
kinda sucks.
short story long.
i hope anyone who reads this and knows my name is doing well.
anyway
i've liked this girl for a while.
i like her really really a lot.
she's become so special to me over the past few months. the past few weeks even more special.
not that it's an of your business
but she kinda has family problems
i've been there before. but i have trouble recognizing the things i can and the things i can't change.
the things i can make a difference in
and the things i can't
this particular situation
i can't.
and it hurts.
she's not a perfect child.
but anybody should forgive anybody if you leave under the same roof.
i was driving her to long beach so she could move in with her grandparents, last week.
she starts crying half way there and i was a little teary eyed since i picked her up.
so i pulled the car over and we just hugged for like twenty minutes.
my shirt was all wet from her tears.
i felt so bad.
i wanted to do something.
the only thing i could do was drive.
we saw this really pretty park a little off the freeway where we had stopped. i dont know why but we decided to take a break and just go relax before we started off again. we talked for so long. about everything. we both learned even more about eachother. i mentioned something that happened a while back with us. a really funny story. i thought she was laughing.
i look over at her and she's crying. i couldn't think of anything to say. she looks at me and says
'derrick i'm not in love with you or anything. but you know i love you. you've been so good to me since i met you. i don't want to leave you. i want you as more than a friend.'
and i think i said something like 'its taken us so long to even admit that we like eachother. and when we finally do, you have to leave.'
and i think she said 'i don't have to leave. i don't want to. but i can't expect me or my parents to change if we just stay in the same situation. but i don't want to leave you'
and i think i said like 'i've had girlfriend who live a lot farther than long beach. and you won't even be in far away long beach.'
and she says 'what do you mean?'
and i said 'ok fine i guess you don't want to be my girlfriend'
hahaha
she laughed and says 'of course i do'
and we just cuddled and talked in that same spot for hours.
i liked it.
she decided to stay.
which was a bad idea.
because her parents think she should leave for a while.
so she'll be going to long beach soon.
for i don't know how long.
but we promised eachother not to break up.
she'd actually be able to see me a lot more if she did live so far hahah
sad story kinda
but ehh
neither of us want to miss out on anything
besides
her grandparents are so nice
they let me spend the weekend with her there a few weeks ago
and said i can do it again any time i want
i guess things will work
if you've read this far you're probably bored as shit
thanks, though
<3
just me talking.
i look back on the past few years and i remember all these people who i used to be so close to. i can name a few in a second right now if i had to.
so i look back and i think
yeah things change, people change, as often as the weather.
but when people change
why do they lose touch with someone they used to think about every day?
some of you i can live without
and i mean that in any way that won't make me sound like an ass hole.
but others.
the ex girlfriend who i'm stuck in this awkward place with, but we're too close to totally say bye.
the ex BESTfriend who moved to arizona and i've only talked to for minutes since then, but for some reason we don't admit that we miss eachother.
it's almost like a what do you call it?
like
you can't say you have real friends unless you've lost some along the way
whether because you just lost touch
or something happened to force a change.
kinda sucks.
short story long.
i hope anyone who reads this and knows my name is doing well.
anyway
i've liked this girl for a while.
i like her really really a lot.
she's become so special to me over the past few months. the past few weeks even more special.
not that it's an of your business
but she kinda has family problems
i've been there before. but i have trouble recognizing the things i can and the things i can't change.
the things i can make a difference in
and the things i can't
this particular situation
i can't.
and it hurts.
she's not a perfect child.
but anybody should forgive anybody if you leave under the same roof.
i was driving her to long beach so she could move in with her grandparents, last week.
she starts crying half way there and i was a little teary eyed since i picked her up.
so i pulled the car over and we just hugged for like twenty minutes.
my shirt was all wet from her tears.
i felt so bad.
i wanted to do something.
the only thing i could do was drive.
we saw this really pretty park a little off the freeway where we had stopped. i dont know why but we decided to take a break and just go relax before we started off again. we talked for so long. about everything. we both learned even more about eachother. i mentioned something that happened a while back with us. a really funny story. i thought she was laughing.
i look over at her and she's crying. i couldn't think of anything to say. she looks at me and says
'derrick i'm not in love with you or anything. but you know i love you. you've been so good to me since i met you. i don't want to leave you. i want you as more than a friend.'
and i think i said something like 'its taken us so long to even admit that we like eachother. and when we finally do, you have to leave.'
and i think she said 'i don't have to leave. i don't want to. but i can't expect me or my parents to change if we just stay in the same situation. but i don't want to leave you'
and i think i said like 'i've had girlfriend who live a lot farther than long beach. and you won't even be in far away long beach.'
and she says 'what do you mean?'
and i said 'ok fine i guess you don't want to be my girlfriend'
hahaha
she laughed and says 'of course i do'
and we just cuddled and talked in that same spot for hours.
i liked it.
she decided to stay.
which was a bad idea.
because her parents think she should leave for a while.
so she'll be going to long beach soon.
for i don't know how long.
but we promised eachother not to break up.
she'd actually be able to see me a lot more if she did live so far hahah
sad story kinda
but ehh
neither of us want to miss out on anything
besides
her grandparents are so nice
they let me spend the weekend with her there a few weeks ago
and said i can do it again any time i want
i guess things will work
if you've read this far you're probably bored as shit
thanks, though
<3