My ideal spouse: semi-serious
Discussed on separate occasions with Vini & Andrea about my ideal spouse. Though I have a pretty good idea of the qualities I'm looking for, this is the first time I write them down in details. While Sgt. Pecker shouts "Halle Berry", my bigger head (yes, it does have a brain in it, thank you) states the following:
Absolute musts:
Must understand the meaning of marriage: committment. I'm not looking for some hip & reckless MTV fantasy; an hour or two of that crap on TV a day might be entertaining, but a semi-literate, decadent, degenerate, & otherwise irresponsible wife & MOTHER of my children is unthinkable. Unfortunately, modern days youth around the world are increasingly choosing to live that fantasy at the expense of a stable family environment for their future children, marrying for the wrong reasons ("but he/she is such a cool bling-bling gangbanger"). When the show is over, how does she deal with the mundane day-to-day chores of harmonious co-exisitence? Of spending time together & with our children? Of being fiscally responsible? Can she reign in that over-bloated ego (so glamorized by pop culture) & be willing to compromise? Having been through several long-term relationships ( 5 years, 3 years, & 4 years, respectively), I can tell you the day-to-day life of monogamy can be down right boring. Yet it's absolutely essential for the well-being of our future generation. I do not expect those pop culture junkies with 5 minute attention span to be able to keep that committment. And yes, I'm still bitter over losing Angela to that "AzN PrYdE" rice boy.
I understand & tolerate differences in moral & ethical values. But to have a wacko by my side day in & day out, with her behaviour having a profound effect on MY life: sorry, as the saying goes, your freedom stops at where your fist ends & my face begins. Not to mention the children have no choice but to put up with our virtues & faults. They don't get to choose how & with who to live their lives during their formative years. This "my value is none of you business" individualist crap is nothing but a fallacy when those kids have no choice but make us a significant part of their lives.
As mentioned above, children play a central role in my ideal marriage. Under most circumstance, biparental care is essential for the well-being & success in life of children. Hence the committment remarks. My spouse must understand the importance of education in the modern world, & encourage academic excellence among our children, though not at the expense of their social lives (like so many Asian parents do). Getting good grades is the safest (though not the only) way to succeed in life, while the act of studying hard instills good work ethics. But if my son ends up as a drummer in a Rock band & is happy about it, good for him! Just don't bring the drum set home & play it all night long. OTOH, I wouldn't mind if he brings Sax or electric guitar home though.
Desirable qualities:
Topping the list would be falconry. Specifically, if she's a falconer, all the better. If not, she must have some understanding of falconry (that would be my responsibility to introduce her to the art), so she could understand what to expect in our relationship. My life will revolve around the rigid weight contro/flight schedules of the birds. And the unpredictability of the sport means I could appear insensitive to my spouse at times. Anniversary? Sorry, either I fly Arabella today or she'll never fly for me again. Henry Jr. is sick? But I just picked up the telemetry signal from Studmuffin, & I have to track him down now or I'll never find him again. Take Jr. to the hospital yourself, honey.
Am I asking too much? I demand absolute devotion from my spouse, yet I expect her to put up with my negelct for the sake some stupid birds. Well, Rosita, who understood the discipline & the unpredictability of falconry, has been nothing but supportive, so I guess I'm not being unreasonable.
Another highly desiable quality: be either well-educated or well-learned. As mentioned above, I take the education of my children very seriously. An educated spouse could either provide academic assistance to our children, or lead by example.
The rest are nice-to-haves:
Share my political beliefs. I'm a "moral progressive". I'm all for clean enrivonment, conservation, & free healthcare, among other government-lead social programs. But I also belive in the sanctity of family value & the importance of education (that unfortunate is being threatened from both the left & the right).
Love animals, from kitty cats to horses. But she can not be an animal right wacko, for that would be incompatible with falconry.
Be trilingual: Chinese, Spanish, & English. I feel most comfortable communicating in the first, get naughty in the second, but English is the international/academic language.
Can put up with Chinese in laws.
Likes martial arts, but more importantly, the history behind the various styles.
It would be hypocritical for me to say look doesn't matter. So to give you some idea:
Mexican soap opera actress Adela Noriega
Didn't I just mention Halle Berry in the introductory paragraph? Halle gives me the hard on, but Adelita looks like someone I could cuddle up to after a day of hard work, day after day. Beside, I'm very much a face person.
Be a good dancer. No, I don't care about dancing with her. Supposedly, people who know how to move to the rythms with precision tend to be great in bed.
Have read Kama Sutra.