[the gloss of your tears]
Title: THE GLOSS OF YOUR TEARS
Fandom: SMALLVILLE
Characters: CHLOE/LEX
Type: SONG-FIC (WiP)
Word Count: 1322
Community: 100songs, (and 10hugs,) x-posted to chlexers and chloe_lex
Set: 2
Theme/Prompt: AANDHI, "TERE BINA ZINDAGISE" LYRICS (# . LOVE.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T OWN EITHER CHLOE, OR LEX, OR SUPMERMAN.... OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER.....SO PLEASE DON'T SUE...
Warnings/Spoilers: MAJOR ANGST-FEST.
Summary: BASED ON THE BEAUTIFUL LYRICS OF "TERE BINA ZINDAGI SE" SUNG BY LATA MANGESHKAR AND KISHORE KUMAR. JUST THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CHLOE/LEX, AND HOW IT ISN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL.
~Tere bina zindagi se koyi shiqwa to nahi,
shiqwa nahi, shiqwa nahi, shiqwa
nahi~
~Without you, there are no complaints in life,
no complaints, no complaints, no
complaints~
She didn’t want to leave angry, that his last memory of her would be that of fury and malevolence, but there was nothing else she could do. All his bitter words and angry looks made her skin aflame with pain. She couldn’t take it anymore. After all those years of forgiving him, she didn’t have any space left in her heart for one more act of betrayal-and-forgiveness. And even though the tears streaming down her face, the blood gushing through her veins and pain in the pit of her stomach told her to stay one more time, that it would be better this time, she just couldn’t. She found no point in staying for the sake of love and receiving nothing but painful tears.
It was his last words that rung out in her mind. The fact that they were just as true as they were spiteful that made the tears gush out even more.
“You know, life without you would be so much easier.”
And to that, she stated with a quiet fury that it would. She slammed the door as she left him standing there, wide-eyed and mouth gaping over what he had just said, what she had just done.
He didn’t blame her for leaving like that, seething with fury and pain. After all, it was his fault… it was always his fault and he hated that. But it was only because he had never fallen so deeply in love before, and so quickly too. And she had never understood that. She had always thought it was because he didn’t love her, but it was because he did. There were so many emotions swirling around in him: love, passion, anger, lust, pain, betrayal, hate… fear… that they all spurted out towards her. He tried to control it, to stop it but it never worked. The deeper he fell for her, the further he’d push her away. And in all truth, it wasn’t entirely his fault. His love for her was bottomless, so he would never be able to fall into it and stop.
But she didn’t know that, because he had never told her. He had thought that if he did, he would give her too much and scare her away. But he did that anyway.
He had screamed at her that life without her would be so much easier, but he only said that because whenever she was with him, he would hurt her, regardless of whether he meant it or not.
And she had only nodded, “Yes, it would, wouldn’t it?” He stood there, staring at the spot where she had just stood as she slammed the door behind herself.
She was too far to hear him punch the mirror in anger and pain, too broken to hear him bleed.
Chloe pushed her hair out of her eyes as she tried to clamber out of her bed. She looked around her room, grimacing at the state of it: papers and books covered every inch of her floor, whilst clothes crammed every other remaining crook and cranny. She held her head slightly as she tried to regain her composure. Even now, seven months after she and Lex Luthor had parted ways, she still found the mornings as hard as they were the first morning she woke up alone.
Slowly, Chloe got up and began shuffling papers out of her way towards her bathroom. When she had finally cleared a path, Chloe walked inside and firmly locked the door behind her. She turned ever so slowly, as if in the one turn she could change her identity, her past and her future just like her beloved Superman did.
But she wasn’t superman. Staring back at her was that same bleary eyed blonde woman who pretended she wasn’t who she was. It was at moments like these that Chloe Sullivan wished she were back with Lex and still relatively happy.
Chloe growled at the thought. ‘No one wants to be ‘relatively happy’. You’re either happy or not. There are no in betweens.’
But Chloe had been wrong on many occasions, especially where Lex was concerned.
She hastily washed her face and dried it with a towel. Chloe looked at the mirror one final time, and wondered when she stopped recognising the face that stared back.
“Mister Luthor?”
Lex shrugged the voice away, and pushed his face further into his cushion.
“Mister Luthor?!” The voice called out, slightly more coarse and urgent. Lex continued to ignore it. “Lex!!”
Lex instantly shot up and looked at the person standing beside his bed. His maid, Elizabeth, stood waiting for Lex to wake up properly and get dressed for breakfast. “I’m sorry sir, but you seemed to ignore any formal address.” She took a swift step back as Lex swung his legs round to sit comfortably on the bed.
The fifty-seven year old woman scrutinised Lex closely, looking at him more like a teacher inspecting her favourite student’s work than a maid waiting to be set a task by her master.
“It’s ok Elizabeth.”
“Sir, your breakfast will be ready shortly. I suggest you shower and dress, ready for it and your duties afterwards.”
Lex nodded, his head pounding after last night’s drunk stupor. “Thank you Elizabeth. Would you please bring me a glass of water and an aspirin?”
“And a glass of raw eggs and tomato juice? I’ve heard they can control quite the hangover.” Elizabeth replied cheekily. Had it been anyone else, Lex would have fired them that minute, but since he knew Elizabeth since he was a small boy, he understood all her charms.
“Whatever you think best Liz.” He winked at her, as she shuddered at the sound ‘Liz’, when ‘Elizabeth’ or even ‘Eliza’ was acceptable. She abhorred the idea of a fifty-seven year old grandmother, being reduced to a common teenage tart. She was English after all!!
“Sir.” She clicked her heels and left Lex seated on his bed as she went to go get him his glass of water and aspirin.
When she returned she found him in the same position, only holding his head in defeat. It seemed that he had finally broken the iron wall around him, and that he was finally beginning to show the pain he had trapped within himself for so long.
Elizabeth put the tray down immediately on the bedside table and sat down next to him, pulling him close in her lap, just as her mother had done when her heart had been broken. “Its OK Lex, its ok.” She quietly soothed him.
“No its not Elizabeth.” He told her in a hoarse voice, the pain in his chest expanding. “I can’t hold on anymore. I can’t.” He slowly raised his head and looked at her with blue eyes sparkling with pain.
And all Elizabeth could think as she held the man she loved like her son was that this was no way to live, without your only love.
~Tere bina zindagi bhi leykin, zindagi
to nahi, zindagi nahin, zindagi nahin,
zindagi nahin~
~But without you, life isn’t really life,
Isn’t really life, isn’t really
Life.~
Author Note: HEY, SO ITS A BIT STRANGE. ITS A SONG-FIC, BUT NOT A STANDALONE, SO ITS GOT A FEW MORE CHAPTERS. I DID THIS BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH THE SONG, AND DECIDED TO DO A CHAPTER FOR EACH VERSE OF IT. I DIDN'T WANT TO POST THE LYRICS, COS THEN YOU'LL HAVE AN INKLING OF WHAT THE STORY WILL BE LIKE, BUT THEN I THOUGHT YOU NON-URDU FOLK WILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M ON ABOUT... SO I'LL LINK BACK LATER. :) YEAH, AND THE TITLE SUCKS, BUT I WASN'T SURE WHAT ELSE TO CALL IT... MEH...ALSO, I HOPE ITS OK THAT I PUT TOGETHER THE CHALLENGES FOR 100songs and 10hugs TOGETHER. I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE GOOD... SORRY.. ANYHOO, ENJOY. ;)
Question: DUDES, HOW DO YOU OUT STUFF IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR ENTRY? IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME. :(
Fandom: SMALLVILLE
Characters: CHLOE/LEX
Type: SONG-FIC (WiP)
Word Count: 1322
Community: 100songs, (and 10hugs,) x-posted to chlexers and chloe_lex
Set: 2
Theme/Prompt: AANDHI, "TERE BINA ZINDAGISE" LYRICS (# . LOVE.)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T OWN EITHER CHLOE, OR LEX, OR SUPMERMAN.... OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER.....SO PLEASE DON'T SUE...
Warnings/Spoilers: MAJOR ANGST-FEST.
Summary: BASED ON THE BEAUTIFUL LYRICS OF "TERE BINA ZINDAGI SE" SUNG BY LATA MANGESHKAR AND KISHORE KUMAR. JUST THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CHLOE/LEX, AND HOW IT ISN'T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL.
~Tere bina zindagi se koyi shiqwa to nahi,
shiqwa nahi, shiqwa nahi, shiqwa
nahi~
~Without you, there are no complaints in life,
no complaints, no complaints, no
complaints~
She didn’t want to leave angry, that his last memory of her would be that of fury and malevolence, but there was nothing else she could do. All his bitter words and angry looks made her skin aflame with pain. She couldn’t take it anymore. After all those years of forgiving him, she didn’t have any space left in her heart for one more act of betrayal-and-forgiveness. And even though the tears streaming down her face, the blood gushing through her veins and pain in the pit of her stomach told her to stay one more time, that it would be better this time, she just couldn’t. She found no point in staying for the sake of love and receiving nothing but painful tears.
It was his last words that rung out in her mind. The fact that they were just as true as they were spiteful that made the tears gush out even more.
“You know, life without you would be so much easier.”
And to that, she stated with a quiet fury that it would. She slammed the door as she left him standing there, wide-eyed and mouth gaping over what he had just said, what she had just done.
He didn’t blame her for leaving like that, seething with fury and pain. After all, it was his fault… it was always his fault and he hated that. But it was only because he had never fallen so deeply in love before, and so quickly too. And she had never understood that. She had always thought it was because he didn’t love her, but it was because he did. There were so many emotions swirling around in him: love, passion, anger, lust, pain, betrayal, hate… fear… that they all spurted out towards her. He tried to control it, to stop it but it never worked. The deeper he fell for her, the further he’d push her away. And in all truth, it wasn’t entirely his fault. His love for her was bottomless, so he would never be able to fall into it and stop.
But she didn’t know that, because he had never told her. He had thought that if he did, he would give her too much and scare her away. But he did that anyway.
He had screamed at her that life without her would be so much easier, but he only said that because whenever she was with him, he would hurt her, regardless of whether he meant it or not.
And she had only nodded, “Yes, it would, wouldn’t it?” He stood there, staring at the spot where she had just stood as she slammed the door behind herself.
She was too far to hear him punch the mirror in anger and pain, too broken to hear him bleed.
Chloe pushed her hair out of her eyes as she tried to clamber out of her bed. She looked around her room, grimacing at the state of it: papers and books covered every inch of her floor, whilst clothes crammed every other remaining crook and cranny. She held her head slightly as she tried to regain her composure. Even now, seven months after she and Lex Luthor had parted ways, she still found the mornings as hard as they were the first morning she woke up alone.
Slowly, Chloe got up and began shuffling papers out of her way towards her bathroom. When she had finally cleared a path, Chloe walked inside and firmly locked the door behind her. She turned ever so slowly, as if in the one turn she could change her identity, her past and her future just like her beloved Superman did.
But she wasn’t superman. Staring back at her was that same bleary eyed blonde woman who pretended she wasn’t who she was. It was at moments like these that Chloe Sullivan wished she were back with Lex and still relatively happy.
Chloe growled at the thought. ‘No one wants to be ‘relatively happy’. You’re either happy or not. There are no in betweens.’
But Chloe had been wrong on many occasions, especially where Lex was concerned.
She hastily washed her face and dried it with a towel. Chloe looked at the mirror one final time, and wondered when she stopped recognising the face that stared back.
“Mister Luthor?”
Lex shrugged the voice away, and pushed his face further into his cushion.
“Mister Luthor?!” The voice called out, slightly more coarse and urgent. Lex continued to ignore it. “Lex!!”
Lex instantly shot up and looked at the person standing beside his bed. His maid, Elizabeth, stood waiting for Lex to wake up properly and get dressed for breakfast. “I’m sorry sir, but you seemed to ignore any formal address.” She took a swift step back as Lex swung his legs round to sit comfortably on the bed.
The fifty-seven year old woman scrutinised Lex closely, looking at him more like a teacher inspecting her favourite student’s work than a maid waiting to be set a task by her master.
“It’s ok Elizabeth.”
“Sir, your breakfast will be ready shortly. I suggest you shower and dress, ready for it and your duties afterwards.”
Lex nodded, his head pounding after last night’s drunk stupor. “Thank you Elizabeth. Would you please bring me a glass of water and an aspirin?”
“And a glass of raw eggs and tomato juice? I’ve heard they can control quite the hangover.” Elizabeth replied cheekily. Had it been anyone else, Lex would have fired them that minute, but since he knew Elizabeth since he was a small boy, he understood all her charms.
“Whatever you think best Liz.” He winked at her, as she shuddered at the sound ‘Liz’, when ‘Elizabeth’ or even ‘Eliza’ was acceptable. She abhorred the idea of a fifty-seven year old grandmother, being reduced to a common teenage tart. She was English after all!!
“Sir.” She clicked her heels and left Lex seated on his bed as she went to go get him his glass of water and aspirin.
When she returned she found him in the same position, only holding his head in defeat. It seemed that he had finally broken the iron wall around him, and that he was finally beginning to show the pain he had trapped within himself for so long.
Elizabeth put the tray down immediately on the bedside table and sat down next to him, pulling him close in her lap, just as her mother had done when her heart had been broken. “Its OK Lex, its ok.” She quietly soothed him.
“No its not Elizabeth.” He told her in a hoarse voice, the pain in his chest expanding. “I can’t hold on anymore. I can’t.” He slowly raised his head and looked at her with blue eyes sparkling with pain.
And all Elizabeth could think as she held the man she loved like her son was that this was no way to live, without your only love.
~Tere bina zindagi bhi leykin, zindagi
to nahi, zindagi nahin, zindagi nahin,
zindagi nahin~
~But without you, life isn’t really life,
Isn’t really life, isn’t really
Life.~
Author Note: HEY, SO ITS A BIT STRANGE. ITS A SONG-FIC, BUT NOT A STANDALONE, SO ITS GOT A FEW MORE CHAPTERS. I DID THIS BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH THE SONG, AND DECIDED TO DO A CHAPTER FOR EACH VERSE OF IT. I DIDN'T WANT TO POST THE LYRICS, COS THEN YOU'LL HAVE AN INKLING OF WHAT THE STORY WILL BE LIKE, BUT THEN I THOUGHT YOU NON-URDU FOLK WILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M ON ABOUT... SO I'LL LINK BACK LATER. :) YEAH, AND THE TITLE SUCKS, BUT I WASN'T SURE WHAT ELSE TO CALL IT... MEH...ALSO, I HOPE ITS OK THAT I PUT TOGETHER THE CHALLENGES FOR 100songs and 10hugs TOGETHER. I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE GOOD... SORRY.. ANYHOO, ENJOY. ;)
Question: DUDES, HOW DO YOU OUT STUFF IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR ENTRY? IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME. :(