Transformation
Well my feelings were right, and Shannon did try to call me in. For once, I stood my ground and said NO. Ya know, I doo feel bad, because I heard that she had to go into work, but the thing is, that was the second time I was on call, I asked her to change it, I guess she refused, and ya know what, she's a drama queen and I dont care.
Ive noticed something. In the days since my 18th birthday, Ive changed. I dont care what others think about me anymore...I am what I am. I dont need other people to approve of what I do or dont do. I've noticed that I feel more confidant in my own skin, and thats showing. But with this good comes bad as well. I no longer have a dad. And thats the one thing that hurts me the most. Its weird, I always knew this would happen...but that doesnt soften the blow. But, its taought me how to stand on my own two feet, and how to take care of myself, and thats a life skill that Im glad to learn early.
A friend of mine made a reference to another friend's blog, and is calling this my own personal "millipede stage" (i dont know if this is what the person that wrote it ment it to be, but its how Sean and I interpreted it). The time in my life where my world shrinks down to insect size, and life gives me a chance to re-evaluate my life, and decided if its going in a direction that I want it to go. He said that this happens when something changes dramatically in my life, and its up to me, for the first time, to take my own life into my hands.
So what to do? We can saftly assume that Im now jobless, and therefore have time to strenghen my relationships, not only with those around me, but with myself, and becaome aware of WHO I am, and if I like her. Its an exciting time, but scary as well. Like a roller coaster that isnt 100% safe, but you'll ride it just the same.
Ive started to make changes, I have taken the first shakey step, but my foot is firmly planted.
Ive noticed something. In the days since my 18th birthday, Ive changed. I dont care what others think about me anymore...I am what I am. I dont need other people to approve of what I do or dont do. I've noticed that I feel more confidant in my own skin, and thats showing. But with this good comes bad as well. I no longer have a dad. And thats the one thing that hurts me the most. Its weird, I always knew this would happen...but that doesnt soften the blow. But, its taought me how to stand on my own two feet, and how to take care of myself, and thats a life skill that Im glad to learn early.
A friend of mine made a reference to another friend's blog, and is calling this my own personal "millipede stage" (i dont know if this is what the person that wrote it ment it to be, but its how Sean and I interpreted it). The time in my life where my world shrinks down to insect size, and life gives me a chance to re-evaluate my life, and decided if its going in a direction that I want it to go. He said that this happens when something changes dramatically in my life, and its up to me, for the first time, to take my own life into my hands.
So what to do? We can saftly assume that Im now jobless, and therefore have time to strenghen my relationships, not only with those around me, but with myself, and becaome aware of WHO I am, and if I like her. Its an exciting time, but scary as well. Like a roller coaster that isnt 100% safe, but you'll ride it just the same.
Ive started to make changes, I have taken the first shakey step, but my foot is firmly planted.