[LOG] What it is to Trust
WHO: Masumi Hayashi, Hinata Itoh
WHERE: Port Island, Near the Lucky 7
WHEN: Sunday, March 7th - Dark Hour
WHAT: Hinata drags Masumi out on patrol, but in the absence of immediate threats, it becomes a very deep heart-to-heart. Secrets are revealed. Bridges are formed. Bonds are strengthened.
WATCH FOR: A glance into many of Masumi's emotional scars. Hinata's burning determination creating strength where none previously existed. Itoh luck being responsible for a mysterious absence of attacking Shadows(!?)
/============================( - Port Island - )=============================\ | | | Tatsumi Port Island - or just Port Island, for short - is in reality a | | small part of a larger city. With the influence of several things on the | | man-made island, such as one of the best public high schools in the country, | | most people at this point refer to the whole city as Port Island even if | | they intend to go somewhere that actually isn't on the island proper. This | | generalization has stuck. | | A large, densely-populated urban city facing the ocean, Port Island is a | | place that runs almost like clockwork through the day. Boasting one of the | | best public transportation systems in the prefecture, if not Japan itself, | | it is easy to get about where one needs to by monorail. Much of the city's | | prosperity is owed to the Kirijo Group, whose influence has had many | | positive respects throughout. | | Though humanity has advanced so far in the name of convenience and | | expansion, there is an underlying level of unhappiness that can be found in | | many of the residents. Maybe they're in a rut, or things aren't going so | | smoothly as they seem to on the surface. Some have even gone into a state of | | unresponsiveness to the world at large, content to remain catatonic until | | death by malnutrition or the elements. This is dubbed "Apathy Syndrome," and | | has no known cause. | | Surely, none of this is what people will want to let go unchecked? | |===============================( - Players - )================================| |===============================( - Objects - )================================| | The Cameron Residence Tea House | | Church of the Holy Trinity The Chiba Residence |
| Kirijo Labs Tatsumi Memorial Hospital |
| Suwa no Mori |
|================================( - Exits - )=================================|
| High School: Port Island - Gekkoukan HS |
| Indoor Mall: Port Island - Paulownia Mall |
| Monorail: Port Island - Port Island Station |
| Plaza: Port Island - Iwatodai Strip Mall |
| Shrine: Port Island - Naganaki Shrine |
| Dorm: Port Island - SEES Co-Ed Dorm |
| Ghetto: Port Island - Shirakawa Blvd. |
| Iwatodai Station: Okina City |
\============================================================================/
Its midnight in Port Island. Do you know where your children are?
Probably not, since right now the parents of Port Island are all inert black coffins. The moon is a entirely horrifying and wrong shade of green and all the water - even the ice in the Lucky 7's slurpee machine - has turned to blood. There is no electricity, no comforting glow of incandescent light to keep the unfortunate few who live through this unholy hour company. Its the Dark Hour, the worst time of the night for the awakened of Port Island. Why any persona user would willingly move here...
They must have their reasons. One of which is currently keeping an eye on the streets of the city. No sooner had the clock struck midnight than Hinata struck out of bed, threw on her Ichiro jersey, grabbed her bat, grabbed her evoker, grabbed her Masumi, and took off into the night. She wanted someone with her while they checked the area surrounding her home for shadows and the shadow-possessed. It had been many months since the Lucky 7 was targetted, but the worry that their home could be attacked again had never left. Its why she's never far from the store whenever she's on other duties with SEES.
For now, the pair have taken a rest outside of the Hagakure ramen shop. Its been uneventful for now, nothing more than the occasional mara lurking about. Nothing dangerous, at least not yet. Hinata grabs herself a dry patch of curb space, stretching out to watch the sky above. "Its not nearly as fun staying up late if I can't watch the stars above," she sighs plaintively.
Masumi is...less than thrilled about venturing out into the Dark Hour. The repeated exposure to the dark ambience within the relative security of the Lucky 7 has helped to blunt a little bit of the visceral terror that it incites in her -- incited not only because of the intersection of how spiritually sensitive she is and how /Wrong/ the Dark Hour is, but also the subconscious assimilation of her elder sister's terror, along with the fact that her first encounter came dangerously close to death, while the third came dangerously close to /Casey/ dying, as well as a lot of other vivid unpleasantry -- but ultimately she still would like nothing more than to stay cloistered inside.
That said, she...really didn't get much of a choice! Hinata had already pretty much grabbed and hauled her out before she could really think to mount an effective protest. She barely had time to change into more appropriate attire and arm herself! The small blades don't have the reach of more traditional swords, but are extremely easy to conceal. You'd never guess she was carrying them if you didn't know beforehand.
"Mm," Masumi considers with a glance towards the sky. There is a faint quiver before she quickly looks away. "I would have to agree." The silver-haired girl has actually been a little quiet, a little distant recently. Before it could possibly have been chalked up to the stress of exams. Maybe now it's simply the stress of the Dark Hour? Maybe.
With exams over, Hinata's been far more bouncy, enthusiastic, and effuvasive. Or to be short: She's her normal self again. She had also thought that with that weight gone from Masumi's shoulders, she would be more open as well! Except that this was the Dark Hour and Masumis and Dark Hours don't mesh well at all. Hina's had to keep an ear open for the tell-tale roars of incoming Kazuos. Her lips form a tight frown at the thought. Kagayama-sensei. :(
But he's not here and her silver-haired maiden is, so one fight at a time. The ponytailed girl flips over to her side, propping her head up on an elbow. She doesn't as much stare at Masumi as try to appreciate the view. Its hard to do when the target isn't looking your away. Hmm, how best to approach this. Hell, there's been too much serious business, let's go for the light-hearted approach.
Slowly and silently, she crawls up to her feet, crouched low as she sneaksneaksneaks up on her silent prey, a cat-like curl taking to her dimpled grin. The wild Hinata stalks the unknowing Masumi...
Masumi always has and always will appreciate those qualities in Hinata, and part of her is envious that she cannot adopt some of them for herself -- if nothing else, that she can't seem to rid herself of the.../noose/ about her neck. The constant weight of the rumors at school has finally started to wear her down, and the pain of Reki's rejection still remains fresh at the surface. For not the first time, she lapses into mentally berating herself. She let her hopes be raised unrealistically. It's the only reason she cannot rid herself of the pain.
Ultimately, it's her own fault. She knows better than that. She knows better than to expect all but the smallest handful of people to actually understand. And it's fine if they don't; she doesn't need their acceptance. But people that are /different/ -- it scares them. It speaks to the heart of their own insecurities as they try to go about their mundane, simple little lives every single day, abjectly terrified which speaks of anything greater. She is the reminder they cannot stand that not everything falls into their neat, comfortable, /safe/ little boxes. And so they lash out. It is only to be expected.
Mind preoccupied with these thoughts, Masumi does not appear to have noticed that Hinata has gotten to her feet.
Slowly, she crept, step by step, inch by inch... And yet Masumi hasn't noticed her yet. This is a little odd, isn't she pretty perceptive? Certainly there would've been a frightened squeak or a 'why are you sneaking up on me Hinata-chan' by now! The stalking teen pauses, unsure of just what to make of this. Her partner has seemed rather distant all night, all weekend even. That she's that out of it certainly is more than a little surprising! Which only means one thing: She definitely needs some /excitement/ in her life. And Hina knows just the way!
Which is why she's right on top of Masumi right now, one hand cupping over Masumi's mouth to stifle any rather loud squeaks while the other wraps around her waist and maybe pins an arm or two with it. "Rar," Hina whispers in her best fake gravelly eeeeeeeevil voice, "I'm a hungry shadow and I'm gonna eat ya! Nomnomnomnom!"
Hopefully she won't get judo-flipped for this.
Certainly, it would seem that the space of time after exams /finally/ ended Saturday afternoon and this current Dark Hour should have been characterized by a terrific lightening of moods -- after all, they had all survived the final, incredibly brutal series of exams for the year. This was cause for celebration! But even yesterday, when everything should have been at a peak from at the very least raw relief, Masumi had quietly declined Hinata's invitation to come out to the new club opening in Sumaru with her and her friends from SEES.
Perhaps she once again did not do quite as well on the exams as she felt she should have? Or perhaps there is something else altogether...?
Regardless of that answer, it is in fact extremely weird to see the silver-haired girl so incredibly preoccupied and removed from her surroundings. Her physical senses are exceptionally keen -- and in fact she has demonstrated a certain sensitivity to loud or cacaphonous noises previously, often freezing to the spot as if unable to totally cope with the sudden influx of sensation -- in addition to being systematically honed due to her work in the seedier side of Japan. Hinata's movements should have definitely pinged in her awareness by now.
There is a single moment, a single breath of time that seems to hang in the air forever, in which the younger girl can feel Masumi's body immediately tensing underneath her, subtle ripples moving through lithe muscles as she reflexively shifts her stance and weight in order to -- before her conscious mind catches up with the raw reflex which so outpaced it, and she relaxes back into Hinata's grip. A faint quiver of...something runs through her body as she does so.
Its not until after she's successfully captured her 'prey' and she can feel Masumi tensing up that Hinata realizes something is just not right here. She should never have been able to catch the priestess that off-guard! Something must have caught her ever-vigilant partner's attention and she totally surprised her in all the wrong ways. Now she's going to get suplexed or judo-flipped or her hand bit or punted into the sun! Way to go, Itoh. Hina likewise prepares herself, readying for the reaction to come next!
Or Masumi will just melt into her arms with a completely unfrightened shudder. The ponytailed teen blinks, peering in a bit to make sure that her elegant friend just didn't swoon into her arms or anything. No, Masumi hasn't quite fallen dead away. Something is really odd here. "Masumi-chan?" Oh right, she can't answer if you have your hand over her mouth! Hina lets go there, but still keeps her other arm tight because she's not going to let her friend collapse right onto the ground! And, well, holding Masumi has its other benefits~
Hinata has probably not yet really witnessed Masumi's hidden martial prowess -- certainly, her soft and delicate nature does not seem to readily lend itself to such things, even if the younger girl has by now seen hints that the Inaban teen is more physically agile and capable than one would immediately think. Such as when she so smoothly and casually jumped right over the Lucky 7's counter without once even coming close to exposing herself, given her proclivity towards skirts. So at the moment, a lot is still left up to the imagination, one more part of her that is hinted at but ultimately kept a mystery.
And perhaps there is even a little more mystery to be found at Masumi's reaction once her conscious mind fully parses that it's Hinata that just 'jumped' her, rather than someone with actual hostile intent. The older girl swallows hard when the hand unclamps itself from her mouth, seeming to require a moment to collect herself after the sudden spike of adrenaline. "Y...yes?" she tries at first, pauses, then successfully gets out the second time. She seems slightly uncertain as to what the question actually is.
Overall, she does not seem especially inclined to complain about Hinata's tight grip.
Whew, an answer! So Masumi's awake and alert and hooboy this is just becoming even more awkward. If she didn't faint right away, then what the heck was that reaction anyways? No squirming or playing around either, nothing more than her relaxing into her grasp with that ever so faint shudder. It was almost as if it was one of those moments when Masumi has been trembling and troubled, finding comfort in Hinata's touch. When she's... vulnerable?
The pieces of the puzzle start to put together, just a little, but Hina's discovered its a Picasso painting. She's still not sure what entirely to make of all the sides she's seeing of Masumi.
What she is certain of, however, is that feeling that she can't just let Masumi go. Right. She had a mission after all! Maybe her partner is just playing along. Nervously. Because she's not used to this. Oooookay. "Uh." Inspiration hits like a ping and Hina dives right in with a playful grin. "Omnomnom!"
Masumi is probably not entirely sure what to make of all the sides of herself, either, so Hinata at least is in good company.
That said, there are a good deal of things to which the silver-haired girl is accustomed; one could probably assume that 'playfulness' wasn't especially one of them. As she's begun to slowly open up, and also figure out some things about herself, she has on occassion demonstrated the ability to laugh and giggle -- but even then, there always seemed to be a little bit of reservation behind them. Still very elegant, still very poised, they represented small glimpses behind the walls. 'Playfulness' would require a lot more than that.
Which is probably why it's not entirely surprising that Masumi actually retenses faintly when Hinata dives in, faux-nibbling/gnawing/devouring at her neck. The rather disturbing atmosphere around them is probably only very partly the cause for this reaction, and the younger girl may feel like she's hit a sudden wall of resistance -- and probably even moreso than normally, thanks to whatever has been bothering the older girl for a little bit now.
It is only after several moments that the shift comes, the tension once more melting away as she relaxes into Hinata's arms. A faint smile, then sparkling eyes, then even a giggle, then several more. "H-Hinata!" she gets out somewhere in the there, the ostensible protest at all of this not really sounding especially...protest-y. There is a definite lack of conviction.
It /is/ the Dark Hour, and shadows can come jump them at any moment! Even so, there's always time for a little goofing around, especially if soemone is in dire need of distractions! If there was a threat nearby, Masumi would let Hinata know anyways by tensing up and... um... uh oh.
But the tension releases, and them comes that smile she's been missing for so long. And that giggle! Hinata gives up on the gnawing at that point, instead wrapping both arms around her friend to give her a tight snuggle. "Your giggles are so /adorable/, Masumi-chan," she likewise laughs right back. Quietly, of course. Gotta be careful out here. Even if she's losing herself in the moment. There's just so much energy still to release! "I'm sorry if I startled you, but you haven't been yourself since exams ended! Its time to let loose! We have a whole month before we have to worry about studies again!"
She leans back from the snuggle to eye the feminine youth up and down before giving a most approving nod. "And you are /so/ going to rock the Gekkoukan uniform next year. Silver and black is stylin'!"
Hinata's energy rarely, if ever, fails to be infectious.
There is the faintest of pauses when the younger girl moves around Masumi to wrap both arms about her in a tight snuggle, an almost imperceptible moment of hesitation -- as if she's not entirely certain this is actually happening, even if by this point it has at least a few times in the past. But then once more there's that resolution following immediately thereafter, and the silver-haired youth relaxes into the snuggle, before making a point of returning it.
Her breathing quickens just the tiniest bit in a mixture of excitement and fear, as if still not entirely convinced all of this wasn't going to simply be swept out from underneath her feet, the very moment she allowed herself to completely accept and grow accustomed to it. Just that little bit of fear, that nagging doubt in the back of her mind over whether or not it was really worth it to /commit/. It is difficult to entirely let go.
Masumi smiles deeply, with one more small giggle, at Hinata's first comment. "You...think so?" she asks, as if not entirely convinced of it. Then again, in that particular case, there's a lot she's still trying to mentally adjust herself to -- a lot of very definite differences between the male and female guise. There's a lot of old conceptions, assumptions, societal stigmas that she still needs time to clear out of her system; seventeen years is more than enough chance to assimilate a lot of dead weight.
"Thank you~," she replies to the second compliment, eyes sparkling a little, smile deepening a bit. Only a small nod was given to the words in between, avoiding any real discussion about the whole mess surrounding school.
It helps that Hinata doesn't see or hear 'male' or 'female'. Masumi in a sweater and slacks or Masumi in a dress all amounted to the same thing: Her Masumi. Boy or girl, that giggle really is adorable to her and that's all that mattered. Even if there was still that regret that he had made the switch full-time to being a she. Life and her future would be so much easier!
Hina, however, was OK with the girl in hand than the male in the bush. Or something like that. Kick reason to the curb, yo. "Like I always say, it isn't flattery if its true," she winks to both responses. Another moment is taken to appreciate from head to toe, the little things that may seem off due to not having the right chromosome set quietly shoved aside. "Actually, I'm not sure if the Gekkoukan uniform will do you justice. Eh, Takeba-senpai and Mitsuru-senpai get away with flaunting the uniform regulations, I'm sure you could add a few things of your own to make yourself look... /elegant/." The last word is said breathlessly, a hand aristocratically flipping her ponytail.
Hmm, there's something else off that just doesn't make Masumi look quite right. Oh yeah, Dark Hour. The teen's jaw offsets as she takes a cautious glance up and down the street. No shadows? Hopefully!
Masumi very, very occassionally picks up on vibes that Hinata wishes she had maintained the male guise -- it always hurts a little, but she tries to remind herself that it /is/ a very big mental leap, and one which falls outside of most peoples' realm of experience. The simple fact is that Hinata is obviously /trying/, and in fact except for those extremely rare moments, has adapted with almost surprising ease. That really does mean a lot to Masumi.
The silver-haired teen almost seems a little overwhelmed as Hinata continues to compliment her, even going past simple words to so obviously appreciate her form so thoroughly. That smile deepens, eyes sparkling brightly, and even another little giggle at the bit of breathless melodrama. Once again there's that bit of infectious enthusiasm and energy, and for several moments the moment simply hangs in the air. Words she's always wanted to hear, but never quite did...it means so much...
But presently that sense of being a little overwhelmed returns, and a little bit of a dark look creeps into Masumi's expression. There's a bit of a heavy silence, before the silver-haired teen's gaze moves off into the distance, glimpses of worry and maybe even a little bit of fear tainting her soft features. The question she has to keep asking herself, never to have a satisfactory answer.
"Why?"
One moment, Masumi is smiling, happy, and carefree. Just where Hinata had hoped to put her. In the next, she's now staring off into the distance, perhaps a bit apprehensive now. Hinata's first reaction is immediate, she too switches attention over in that direction. There must be something threatening coming, or at the least a disapproving senpai!
There isn't anything approaching, nothing but a simply worded question. Why? Why what is Hinata's first thought. The last few moments are replayed in her mind: Flattering Masumi, being elegant, checking for shadows. Nothing that would elicit a question of 'why' except perhaps the flattery? Why flatter Masumi? Or does it go beyond that? To what had been troubling the silver-haired youth for some time now? It had to have gone beyond exams, Hina knew that for certain now. Why... Why her?
The thoughts parade as she thinks it over, a tint of suspicion clouding her own ever wide eyes before they part. "Because." See, there's a simple enough answer right there! But that may not be enough for Masumi. Hinata slides back to fold her arms defiantly before herself, a confident grin forming between dimples. "Because being with you makes me happy, Masumi-chan." There. "And I think it makes you happy too!"
Masumi may not have necessarily intended to actually speak that question aloud, but if not, it was weighing on her mind and spirit heavily enough that it slipped out of its own accord, regardless. She wants...she wants so badly to /trust/, to accept, to relax, to surrender, to let go, to believe that Hinata isn't going to reject her the moment she really lets her guard down. There have certainly been moments that she has done all of these things, but more recent events have brought up all the old scars. All the old memories.
The silver-haired teen's gaze moves back to Hinata when she answers, and there's such a mixture of emotion in her expression, extremely easy to read -- much, much more transparent than normal. There is an intense desire to simply accept what the other girl is saying as absolute truth. But there is also distinct apprehension, like someone that has been burned so many times in the past and can't quite bring themselves to believe that something this...this amazing could possibly be true. And then that bit of raw fear. Fear of really letting herself go, fear of trusting, fear that the moment she does these things, she's going to simply lose everything.
Breathing a little heavy in distress, Masumi turns and takes a couple of paces away. Her voice is a little shaky. "I...I've been nothing but a burden." It seems like everytime she turns around anymore, she's falling apart. And everytime, there's Hinata to help her put the pieces back together. And what has she done in turn? The one time she actually was able to help support Hinata, she was -- in a twist of bitter irony -- at least half responsible for the problems in the first place. But she...she just can't keep it together anymore.
It's just been one thing right after another. The decision to leave KNOWS. The aftermath of actually leaving it. Now here again only, what, a couple of weeks later? And she's already a mess again. Not to mention everything she's tacitly asked of Hina through the gender transitioning, and...and... The silver-haired girl exhales heavily, shoulders drooping visibly.
This was so not the reaction she had expected. There was that glimmer of hope, Hinata can see that. What else was there she had never thought she'd see in a million years when their eyes met. Fear. Fear not of croc monsters or shadows, but fear of Hinata. Its then that whatever's been keeping her silver-haired maiden down all weekend is far more horrible than she had thought.
Her lips part, but no words come out. How could Masumi not trust her, when she so wants to? Was she that transparent in those regrets? The shock grows, and Hina's left shaking her head as Masumi steps away. She never meant to hurt her! All she ever wanted was for her to be happy!
But that was it, wasn't it. A burden. Hinata's jaw nearly hits the pavement at that, but she certainly is hearing every word of it. How many times had Masumi come to her, had sought acceptance from her, and how many times had Hina always been there with arms wide open. Its easy enough to see just why one would feel that they could be unworthy. To fear the one person who would never think of turning on them in a million years.
Right. This shit stops now.
Hinata stands upright, arms still folded, eyes no longer sparkling as they are burning with determination. "I don't know what's happening, but I'm not going to stand by and let you get all emo on me, Masumi-chan! You've never been a burden to me, not as long as I could see your smile or- or lose myself in your eyes! Its not what you are that I care about, its who you are that I adore! And as long as I can see you smile, then... then that's all I ever needed!"
There's a beat as emotions override her logic circuits. "You don't have to be strong. I'll always be strong enough for both of us!" Kamina may be tossing her a thumbs-up from the hereafter.
And in many ways, the fear which lurks in Masumi's eyes runs so much deeper than any fear of monsters or shadows ever could -- ultimately, the physical wounds which such things represent would heal far quicker than the emotional wounds which continue to plague the silver-haired girl, and form the root of the fear she is experiencing now. Injury to the body is ultimately transient, and even death itself could be considered to be merely a passing underneath many styles of thought. But /betrayal/.
Betrayal lasts so much longer. Even the wounds appear to have healed on the surface, betrayal leaves behind scars which could easily take years to heal. Often, they never heal completely. And it makes it so difficult to /trust/, no matter how much Masumi desperately /wants/ to. It's tearing her apart inside, heart and spirit striving to take that step forward -- only to come to a slamming stop. Like a dog on the end of the chain, constantly lunging forward only to be violently yanked back by the steel collar around its neck. With no way to release itself from this bondage, no matter the intensity of its desire.
Masumi continues to breath a little heavily in obvious distress, even as her slender shoulders remain slumped in apparent defeat. She just...she wants it. She wants /so badly/ to trust. To let go. But she doesn't know how. She doesn't know how. One hand clenches tightly as intensely frustrated tears begin to drip down delicate features. Perhaps it would simply be better for Hinata if she just...just left. Anymore, she's nothing but a weight on a bright and energetic and beautiful girl, one that deserves far better than to constantly be picking up the pieces of someone else's life.
She's so /weak/. She didn't use to have these problems, she didn't use to be constantly falling apart at every new development. Somewhere along the way, she lost that control and understanding, and she can't see how to get it back. Maybe back then it wouldn't have come to this. Maybe back then she would have been strong enough to provide her part of that mutual support which this kind of close relationship requires. But now -- now she's merely being parasitic. Intellectually, she can recognize that she's not healthy to this relationship.
Masumi turns back around with an expression of surprise, perhaps even a faint hint of...shock, as Hinata starts talking, troubled azure eyes immediately drawn to those diamonds of burning determination. "H-Hinata...I...I..." she trails off, seeming to be struggling within herself. Struggling to /believe/ that Hinata really wants her, despite her weakness, her flaws. Right there on that precipice, swaying precariously between falling to either side.
Hinata couldn't tell the exact reasons that have drug Masumi down, but she had a very good suspicion as to what was the main driving force. "I know it can't be easy," she answers, still glowing with the fearlessness that has carried her through the trials of the past year. "Not in this society. Boys are boys and girls are girls and Japanese are Japanese and that's that." A dismissive hrmph floats her bangs, "Mom 'n Dad taught me that tradition is nice but following your heart is always /always/ better."
She's right in front of the silver-haired girl now, easily within reach to take each of Masumi's forearms gently in hand. Tightened lips curl up into a grin, head and ponytail cocked as she takes in those troubled azures. "So I'll be strong enough for both of us. And someday, you might need to be strong enough for both of us too! I always thought I was pretty perceptive but you make me look like an amateur sometimes!" Its a thought that brings another radiance to her, one not just of confidence but deep appreciation as well. "But you're no burden. You'll never be a burden, Masumi-chan." The grin gets a little cheeky, dimples growing, "I mean, all the time we're together, and its like we're both walking on air all the time!"
Masumi quivers very faintly when Hinata begins to so precisely dig at the heart of a number of issues -- there's been so many times in the past when she really believed that other people truly were accepting her for who she was, only to find out later that some aspect of herself caused them to reject her. It's never been entirely easy walking that line, never quite acting the right way to fit in with the boys, and never quite having the right physicality to fight in with the girls. A stranger from both camps, a lonely sojourner in the desert between them.
And of course there were other things about her that never quite meshed right with society. She was /different/, and to be different was to be pushed to the outside, never quite accepted. In some respects, perhaps it wasn't even entirely their fault. That drive for solidarity and unity was an evolutionary imperative, and one that had given mankind the power in its earliest days to overcome incredible obstacles. She could recognize on an intellectual level that it wasn't something easy to simply toss aside, biologically hardwired within every living human -- but of course that knowledge didn't really make it any less lonely, any easier to trust.
Because of course, pattern recognition was biologically hardwired as well. After so many times -- and she was given a fresh reminder of this pattern a couple of days ago, just in case she had started to forget -- the instictive response was to protect herself. To hide behind those walls. If you never formed any such connections, after all, they couldn't hurt you. It was only when you allowed them to mean something to you, to be /important/. Once they were past the outside walls, that's when they could strike at the heart. That's when they /hurt/.
Masumi swallows as Hinata takes both forearms, intensely troubled gaze never once leaving the other girl's eyes. Hinata has never once rejected her, has always accepted her no matter what side she saw. The feminity. The impulse to transition, even if it was something she personally struggled with. Her membership in KNOWS. Her deep involvement in the occult. Her work in the seedier side of Japan. And...her weakness. So much that she has slowly revealed to her, and yet not once has she turned her back. But there's still that nagging doubt, fear. Will that always remain true? There simply hasn't been enough time for Hinata to see everything, and there are yet still more secrets remaining.
Will one of them cause Hinata to turn her back on her? She doesn't want to believe that any would, but once again there's those strong currents of pattern recognition. She's thought before that a potential friend, because they had accepted her for everything else, would continue to accept her in the future -- and yet so many times, they haven't. The rational approach would be to trust in the value of past experience, and simply walk away here before she's hurt. Even if Hinata is willing to support her now, will she always be? Will she decide in the future that she's simply had enough? Once again, Masumi finds that she intensely doesn't want to believe that. But patterns.
And yet...yet as she gazes back into Hinata's eyes. As she /feels/ Hinata's aura. Light. Hope. Faith. Undying Determination. As these things play across her soul, there's that quiet voice in the back of her mind. Barely a whisper, but quietly insistent. If she is looking back at past experience, then she must also note that she has recovered herself after each time. Even if Hinata ultimately does betray her, Masumi can trust in the weight of experience that she is strong enough to recover. So perhaps...perhaps taking a long-term view, the loss would be very small. But in the reverse...what if she does not betray her? She has received hints of possible futures. And once again, taking a long-term view...the loss would be monumental. So then isn't the greater risk walking away?
Masumi continues to visibly struggle internally as she looks back into Hinata's eyes. And then finally, there's a change. One step forward. "H...Hinata," she begins, voice thick with emotion. Eyes and voice pleading. Pleading for Hinata to give her the strength to trust, for she does not have it on her own. "Promise...promise me you'll never turn your back on me."
Hinata hurt someone she cared for very much once. Its a mistake she'll never repeat again. She should've by all rights still be dating Akatsuki. They should still be the couple that all of SEES adores, and...
... and if she hadn't, would she and Masumi be this close? Its why Hinata doesn't dwell on regrets for long, there's always something in the present to build on. There's always a next at-bat.
Gentle hands slide behind silver locks as Hina draws herself close, holding on and holding up with all of her strength. Even if she's only a banjo-hitting centerfielder, she's got power where it counts. There are a lot of things she can say right at this moment. She'd never think of it. Never dream of it. Never even considered it. But that's just a lot of words. "I promise," Hinata whispers, leaning in, ever so softly brushing her lips past Masumi's.
There is a single moment which hangs in the air for an eternity. A single breath of time which freezes forever around the pair. A single, solitary instant where the universe aligns in perfection. The world stops. Two words float eternal in the expanse of infinity. Everything changes.
'I promise.'
The world snaps back.
And nothing is the same.
Hinata can feel Masumi's body relaxing into her grip, but the physical is only an indication of something far deeper -- perhaps all the more poignant for the hostile world they currently find themselves in. It is an act of complete trust. A total belief that Hinata will never break that promise. The willingness to let down the walls, to let Hinata in to where she is most vulnerable. Because she believes with her entire being that Hinata will never turn her back on her. It is not weakness. It is not trusting because there is nothing else left.
It is a /choice/. She /chooses/ to trust Hinata with everything that she has. Everything that she is. Even in that soft kiss, Masumi's eyes never leave hers -- and the other girl can see the absolute trust which shines deep in their depths. Nothing is held back. Though only time will bring some things to the surface, there is a silent promise in her eyes, right now. A promise to never hide. To never conceal. To never lie. There will be times that she fails in this, for old habits die hard, but she promises to strive with her entire being to overcome those.
Faith. Trust. They come through in her eyes, and are felt in every part of her mind and heart and soul. Incredibly deep and powerful emotions, but not simply feelings. A /choice/. A conscious committment to let go of her doubts, her pain, her fear. And instead to believe.
In that same moment, Hinata can see just how much it truly meant to Masumi. She never had any doubts in herself, not when it came to how much Masumi meant to her. But to see and feel those doubts in the one person she held as dear in her world as her sisters, if for the brief moment it was troubling. If she had half a mind to think that way, she'd wonder just how there could be any fear at all. Yet she knew where her courage would lead, and her reward is feeling all that tension wash away. The form of her courage had prevailed again. She was brave enough for both of them.
The kiss doesn't linger, not when the sparkle in those beautiful eyes is haunted by the madness-inducing moonlight. Hinata seperates enough so that Masumi - her Masumi - can see the wide breadth of that dimpled smile. She's never been more cheerful, if only because it seems to be her natural state of being. A hand strokes aside some stray silver bangs as the full elegance and beauty is drawn in. "Your future is too bright for me to miss out on, Masumi-chan. I want to be there with you the whole way."
WHERE: Port Island, Near the Lucky 7
WHEN: Sunday, March 7th - Dark Hour
WHAT: Hinata drags Masumi out on patrol, but in the absence of immediate threats, it becomes a very deep heart-to-heart. Secrets are revealed. Bridges are formed. Bonds are strengthened.
WATCH FOR: A glance into many of Masumi's emotional scars. Hinata's burning determination creating strength where none previously existed. Itoh luck being responsible for a mysterious absence of attacking Shadows(!?)
/============================( - Port Island - )=============================\ | | | Tatsumi Port Island - or just Port Island, for short - is in reality a | | small part of a larger city. With the influence of several things on the | | man-made island, such as one of the best public high schools in the country, | | most people at this point refer to the whole city as Port Island even if | | they intend to go somewhere that actually isn't on the island proper. This | | generalization has stuck. | | A large, densely-populated urban city facing the ocean, Port Island is a | | place that runs almost like clockwork through the day. Boasting one of the | | best public transportation systems in the prefecture, if not Japan itself, | | it is easy to get about where one needs to by monorail. Much of the city's | | prosperity is owed to the Kirijo Group, whose influence has had many | | positive respects throughout. | | Though humanity has advanced so far in the name of convenience and | | expansion, there is an underlying level of unhappiness that can be found in | | many of the residents. Maybe they're in a rut, or things aren't going so | | smoothly as they seem to on the surface. Some have even gone into a state of | | unresponsiveness to the world at large, content to remain catatonic until | | death by malnutrition or the elements. This is dubbed "Apathy Syndrome," and | | has no known cause. | | Surely, none of this is what people will want to let go unchecked? | |===============================( - Players - )================================| |===============================( - Objects - )================================| | The Cameron Residence Tea House | | Church of the Holy Trinity The Chiba Residence |
| Kirijo Labs Tatsumi Memorial Hospital |
| Suwa no Mori |
|================================( - Exits - )=================================|
| High School: Port Island - Gekkoukan HS |
| Indoor Mall: Port Island - Paulownia Mall |
| Monorail: Port Island - Port Island Station |
| Plaza: Port Island - Iwatodai Strip Mall |
| Shrine: Port Island - Naganaki Shrine |
| Dorm: Port Island - SEES Co-Ed Dorm |
| Ghetto: Port Island - Shirakawa Blvd. |
| Iwatodai Station: Okina City |
\============================================================================/
Its midnight in Port Island. Do you know where your children are?
Probably not, since right now the parents of Port Island are all inert black coffins. The moon is a entirely horrifying and wrong shade of green and all the water - even the ice in the Lucky 7's slurpee machine - has turned to blood. There is no electricity, no comforting glow of incandescent light to keep the unfortunate few who live through this unholy hour company. Its the Dark Hour, the worst time of the night for the awakened of Port Island. Why any persona user would willingly move here...
They must have their reasons. One of which is currently keeping an eye on the streets of the city. No sooner had the clock struck midnight than Hinata struck out of bed, threw on her Ichiro jersey, grabbed her bat, grabbed her evoker, grabbed her Masumi, and took off into the night. She wanted someone with her while they checked the area surrounding her home for shadows and the shadow-possessed. It had been many months since the Lucky 7 was targetted, but the worry that their home could be attacked again had never left. Its why she's never far from the store whenever she's on other duties with SEES.
For now, the pair have taken a rest outside of the Hagakure ramen shop. Its been uneventful for now, nothing more than the occasional mara lurking about. Nothing dangerous, at least not yet. Hinata grabs herself a dry patch of curb space, stretching out to watch the sky above. "Its not nearly as fun staying up late if I can't watch the stars above," she sighs plaintively.
Masumi is...less than thrilled about venturing out into the Dark Hour. The repeated exposure to the dark ambience within the relative security of the Lucky 7 has helped to blunt a little bit of the visceral terror that it incites in her -- incited not only because of the intersection of how spiritually sensitive she is and how /Wrong/ the Dark Hour is, but also the subconscious assimilation of her elder sister's terror, along with the fact that her first encounter came dangerously close to death, while the third came dangerously close to /Casey/ dying, as well as a lot of other vivid unpleasantry -- but ultimately she still would like nothing more than to stay cloistered inside.
That said, she...really didn't get much of a choice! Hinata had already pretty much grabbed and hauled her out before she could really think to mount an effective protest. She barely had time to change into more appropriate attire and arm herself! The small blades don't have the reach of more traditional swords, but are extremely easy to conceal. You'd never guess she was carrying them if you didn't know beforehand.
"Mm," Masumi considers with a glance towards the sky. There is a faint quiver before she quickly looks away. "I would have to agree." The silver-haired girl has actually been a little quiet, a little distant recently. Before it could possibly have been chalked up to the stress of exams. Maybe now it's simply the stress of the Dark Hour? Maybe.
With exams over, Hinata's been far more bouncy, enthusiastic, and effuvasive. Or to be short: She's her normal self again. She had also thought that with that weight gone from Masumi's shoulders, she would be more open as well! Except that this was the Dark Hour and Masumis and Dark Hours don't mesh well at all. Hina's had to keep an ear open for the tell-tale roars of incoming Kazuos. Her lips form a tight frown at the thought. Kagayama-sensei. :(
But he's not here and her silver-haired maiden is, so one fight at a time. The ponytailed girl flips over to her side, propping her head up on an elbow. She doesn't as much stare at Masumi as try to appreciate the view. Its hard to do when the target isn't looking your away. Hmm, how best to approach this. Hell, there's been too much serious business, let's go for the light-hearted approach.
Slowly and silently, she crawls up to her feet, crouched low as she sneaksneaksneaks up on her silent prey, a cat-like curl taking to her dimpled grin. The wild Hinata stalks the unknowing Masumi...
Masumi always has and always will appreciate those qualities in Hinata, and part of her is envious that she cannot adopt some of them for herself -- if nothing else, that she can't seem to rid herself of the.../noose/ about her neck. The constant weight of the rumors at school has finally started to wear her down, and the pain of Reki's rejection still remains fresh at the surface. For not the first time, she lapses into mentally berating herself. She let her hopes be raised unrealistically. It's the only reason she cannot rid herself of the pain.
Ultimately, it's her own fault. She knows better than that. She knows better than to expect all but the smallest handful of people to actually understand. And it's fine if they don't; she doesn't need their acceptance. But people that are /different/ -- it scares them. It speaks to the heart of their own insecurities as they try to go about their mundane, simple little lives every single day, abjectly terrified which speaks of anything greater. She is the reminder they cannot stand that not everything falls into their neat, comfortable, /safe/ little boxes. And so they lash out. It is only to be expected.
Mind preoccupied with these thoughts, Masumi does not appear to have noticed that Hinata has gotten to her feet.
Slowly, she crept, step by step, inch by inch... And yet Masumi hasn't noticed her yet. This is a little odd, isn't she pretty perceptive? Certainly there would've been a frightened squeak or a 'why are you sneaking up on me Hinata-chan' by now! The stalking teen pauses, unsure of just what to make of this. Her partner has seemed rather distant all night, all weekend even. That she's that out of it certainly is more than a little surprising! Which only means one thing: She definitely needs some /excitement/ in her life. And Hina knows just the way!
Which is why she's right on top of Masumi right now, one hand cupping over Masumi's mouth to stifle any rather loud squeaks while the other wraps around her waist and maybe pins an arm or two with it. "Rar," Hina whispers in her best fake gravelly eeeeeeeevil voice, "I'm a hungry shadow and I'm gonna eat ya! Nomnomnomnom!"
Hopefully she won't get judo-flipped for this.
Certainly, it would seem that the space of time after exams /finally/ ended Saturday afternoon and this current Dark Hour should have been characterized by a terrific lightening of moods -- after all, they had all survived the final, incredibly brutal series of exams for the year. This was cause for celebration! But even yesterday, when everything should have been at a peak from at the very least raw relief, Masumi had quietly declined Hinata's invitation to come out to the new club opening in Sumaru with her and her friends from SEES.
Perhaps she once again did not do quite as well on the exams as she felt she should have? Or perhaps there is something else altogether...?
Regardless of that answer, it is in fact extremely weird to see the silver-haired girl so incredibly preoccupied and removed from her surroundings. Her physical senses are exceptionally keen -- and in fact she has demonstrated a certain sensitivity to loud or cacaphonous noises previously, often freezing to the spot as if unable to totally cope with the sudden influx of sensation -- in addition to being systematically honed due to her work in the seedier side of Japan. Hinata's movements should have definitely pinged in her awareness by now.
There is a single moment, a single breath of time that seems to hang in the air forever, in which the younger girl can feel Masumi's body immediately tensing underneath her, subtle ripples moving through lithe muscles as she reflexively shifts her stance and weight in order to -- before her conscious mind catches up with the raw reflex which so outpaced it, and she relaxes back into Hinata's grip. A faint quiver of...something runs through her body as she does so.
Its not until after she's successfully captured her 'prey' and she can feel Masumi tensing up that Hinata realizes something is just not right here. She should never have been able to catch the priestess that off-guard! Something must have caught her ever-vigilant partner's attention and she totally surprised her in all the wrong ways. Now she's going to get suplexed or judo-flipped or her hand bit or punted into the sun! Way to go, Itoh. Hina likewise prepares herself, readying for the reaction to come next!
Or Masumi will just melt into her arms with a completely unfrightened shudder. The ponytailed teen blinks, peering in a bit to make sure that her elegant friend just didn't swoon into her arms or anything. No, Masumi hasn't quite fallen dead away. Something is really odd here. "Masumi-chan?" Oh right, she can't answer if you have your hand over her mouth! Hina lets go there, but still keeps her other arm tight because she's not going to let her friend collapse right onto the ground! And, well, holding Masumi has its other benefits~
Hinata has probably not yet really witnessed Masumi's hidden martial prowess -- certainly, her soft and delicate nature does not seem to readily lend itself to such things, even if the younger girl has by now seen hints that the Inaban teen is more physically agile and capable than one would immediately think. Such as when she so smoothly and casually jumped right over the Lucky 7's counter without once even coming close to exposing herself, given her proclivity towards skirts. So at the moment, a lot is still left up to the imagination, one more part of her that is hinted at but ultimately kept a mystery.
And perhaps there is even a little more mystery to be found at Masumi's reaction once her conscious mind fully parses that it's Hinata that just 'jumped' her, rather than someone with actual hostile intent. The older girl swallows hard when the hand unclamps itself from her mouth, seeming to require a moment to collect herself after the sudden spike of adrenaline. "Y...yes?" she tries at first, pauses, then successfully gets out the second time. She seems slightly uncertain as to what the question actually is.
Overall, she does not seem especially inclined to complain about Hinata's tight grip.
Whew, an answer! So Masumi's awake and alert and hooboy this is just becoming even more awkward. If she didn't faint right away, then what the heck was that reaction anyways? No squirming or playing around either, nothing more than her relaxing into her grasp with that ever so faint shudder. It was almost as if it was one of those moments when Masumi has been trembling and troubled, finding comfort in Hinata's touch. When she's... vulnerable?
The pieces of the puzzle start to put together, just a little, but Hina's discovered its a Picasso painting. She's still not sure what entirely to make of all the sides she's seeing of Masumi.
What she is certain of, however, is that feeling that she can't just let Masumi go. Right. She had a mission after all! Maybe her partner is just playing along. Nervously. Because she's not used to this. Oooookay. "Uh." Inspiration hits like a ping and Hina dives right in with a playful grin. "Omnomnom!"
Masumi is probably not entirely sure what to make of all the sides of herself, either, so Hinata at least is in good company.
That said, there are a good deal of things to which the silver-haired girl is accustomed; one could probably assume that 'playfulness' wasn't especially one of them. As she's begun to slowly open up, and also figure out some things about herself, she has on occassion demonstrated the ability to laugh and giggle -- but even then, there always seemed to be a little bit of reservation behind them. Still very elegant, still very poised, they represented small glimpses behind the walls. 'Playfulness' would require a lot more than that.
Which is probably why it's not entirely surprising that Masumi actually retenses faintly when Hinata dives in, faux-nibbling/gnawing/devouring at her neck. The rather disturbing atmosphere around them is probably only very partly the cause for this reaction, and the younger girl may feel like she's hit a sudden wall of resistance -- and probably even moreso than normally, thanks to whatever has been bothering the older girl for a little bit now.
It is only after several moments that the shift comes, the tension once more melting away as she relaxes into Hinata's arms. A faint smile, then sparkling eyes, then even a giggle, then several more. "H-Hinata!" she gets out somewhere in the there, the ostensible protest at all of this not really sounding especially...protest-y. There is a definite lack of conviction.
It /is/ the Dark Hour, and shadows can come jump them at any moment! Even so, there's always time for a little goofing around, especially if soemone is in dire need of distractions! If there was a threat nearby, Masumi would let Hinata know anyways by tensing up and... um... uh oh.
But the tension releases, and them comes that smile she's been missing for so long. And that giggle! Hinata gives up on the gnawing at that point, instead wrapping both arms around her friend to give her a tight snuggle. "Your giggles are so /adorable/, Masumi-chan," she likewise laughs right back. Quietly, of course. Gotta be careful out here. Even if she's losing herself in the moment. There's just so much energy still to release! "I'm sorry if I startled you, but you haven't been yourself since exams ended! Its time to let loose! We have a whole month before we have to worry about studies again!"
She leans back from the snuggle to eye the feminine youth up and down before giving a most approving nod. "And you are /so/ going to rock the Gekkoukan uniform next year. Silver and black is stylin'!"
Hinata's energy rarely, if ever, fails to be infectious.
There is the faintest of pauses when the younger girl moves around Masumi to wrap both arms about her in a tight snuggle, an almost imperceptible moment of hesitation -- as if she's not entirely certain this is actually happening, even if by this point it has at least a few times in the past. But then once more there's that resolution following immediately thereafter, and the silver-haired youth relaxes into the snuggle, before making a point of returning it.
Her breathing quickens just the tiniest bit in a mixture of excitement and fear, as if still not entirely convinced all of this wasn't going to simply be swept out from underneath her feet, the very moment she allowed herself to completely accept and grow accustomed to it. Just that little bit of fear, that nagging doubt in the back of her mind over whether or not it was really worth it to /commit/. It is difficult to entirely let go.
Masumi smiles deeply, with one more small giggle, at Hinata's first comment. "You...think so?" she asks, as if not entirely convinced of it. Then again, in that particular case, there's a lot she's still trying to mentally adjust herself to -- a lot of very definite differences between the male and female guise. There's a lot of old conceptions, assumptions, societal stigmas that she still needs time to clear out of her system; seventeen years is more than enough chance to assimilate a lot of dead weight.
"Thank you~," she replies to the second compliment, eyes sparkling a little, smile deepening a bit. Only a small nod was given to the words in between, avoiding any real discussion about the whole mess surrounding school.
It helps that Hinata doesn't see or hear 'male' or 'female'. Masumi in a sweater and slacks or Masumi in a dress all amounted to the same thing: Her Masumi. Boy or girl, that giggle really is adorable to her and that's all that mattered. Even if there was still that regret that he had made the switch full-time to being a she. Life and her future would be so much easier!
Hina, however, was OK with the girl in hand than the male in the bush. Or something like that. Kick reason to the curb, yo. "Like I always say, it isn't flattery if its true," she winks to both responses. Another moment is taken to appreciate from head to toe, the little things that may seem off due to not having the right chromosome set quietly shoved aside. "Actually, I'm not sure if the Gekkoukan uniform will do you justice. Eh, Takeba-senpai and Mitsuru-senpai get away with flaunting the uniform regulations, I'm sure you could add a few things of your own to make yourself look... /elegant/." The last word is said breathlessly, a hand aristocratically flipping her ponytail.
Hmm, there's something else off that just doesn't make Masumi look quite right. Oh yeah, Dark Hour. The teen's jaw offsets as she takes a cautious glance up and down the street. No shadows? Hopefully!
Masumi very, very occassionally picks up on vibes that Hinata wishes she had maintained the male guise -- it always hurts a little, but she tries to remind herself that it /is/ a very big mental leap, and one which falls outside of most peoples' realm of experience. The simple fact is that Hinata is obviously /trying/, and in fact except for those extremely rare moments, has adapted with almost surprising ease. That really does mean a lot to Masumi.
The silver-haired teen almost seems a little overwhelmed as Hinata continues to compliment her, even going past simple words to so obviously appreciate her form so thoroughly. That smile deepens, eyes sparkling brightly, and even another little giggle at the bit of breathless melodrama. Once again there's that bit of infectious enthusiasm and energy, and for several moments the moment simply hangs in the air. Words she's always wanted to hear, but never quite did...it means so much...
But presently that sense of being a little overwhelmed returns, and a little bit of a dark look creeps into Masumi's expression. There's a bit of a heavy silence, before the silver-haired teen's gaze moves off into the distance, glimpses of worry and maybe even a little bit of fear tainting her soft features. The question she has to keep asking herself, never to have a satisfactory answer.
"Why?"
One moment, Masumi is smiling, happy, and carefree. Just where Hinata had hoped to put her. In the next, she's now staring off into the distance, perhaps a bit apprehensive now. Hinata's first reaction is immediate, she too switches attention over in that direction. There must be something threatening coming, or at the least a disapproving senpai!
There isn't anything approaching, nothing but a simply worded question. Why? Why what is Hinata's first thought. The last few moments are replayed in her mind: Flattering Masumi, being elegant, checking for shadows. Nothing that would elicit a question of 'why' except perhaps the flattery? Why flatter Masumi? Or does it go beyond that? To what had been troubling the silver-haired youth for some time now? It had to have gone beyond exams, Hina knew that for certain now. Why... Why her?
The thoughts parade as she thinks it over, a tint of suspicion clouding her own ever wide eyes before they part. "Because." See, there's a simple enough answer right there! But that may not be enough for Masumi. Hinata slides back to fold her arms defiantly before herself, a confident grin forming between dimples. "Because being with you makes me happy, Masumi-chan." There. "And I think it makes you happy too!"
Masumi may not have necessarily intended to actually speak that question aloud, but if not, it was weighing on her mind and spirit heavily enough that it slipped out of its own accord, regardless. She wants...she wants so badly to /trust/, to accept, to relax, to surrender, to let go, to believe that Hinata isn't going to reject her the moment she really lets her guard down. There have certainly been moments that she has done all of these things, but more recent events have brought up all the old scars. All the old memories.
The silver-haired teen's gaze moves back to Hinata when she answers, and there's such a mixture of emotion in her expression, extremely easy to read -- much, much more transparent than normal. There is an intense desire to simply accept what the other girl is saying as absolute truth. But there is also distinct apprehension, like someone that has been burned so many times in the past and can't quite bring themselves to believe that something this...this amazing could possibly be true. And then that bit of raw fear. Fear of really letting herself go, fear of trusting, fear that the moment she does these things, she's going to simply lose everything.
Breathing a little heavy in distress, Masumi turns and takes a couple of paces away. Her voice is a little shaky. "I...I've been nothing but a burden." It seems like everytime she turns around anymore, she's falling apart. And everytime, there's Hinata to help her put the pieces back together. And what has she done in turn? The one time she actually was able to help support Hinata, she was -- in a twist of bitter irony -- at least half responsible for the problems in the first place. But she...she just can't keep it together anymore.
It's just been one thing right after another. The decision to leave KNOWS. The aftermath of actually leaving it. Now here again only, what, a couple of weeks later? And she's already a mess again. Not to mention everything she's tacitly asked of Hina through the gender transitioning, and...and... The silver-haired girl exhales heavily, shoulders drooping visibly.
This was so not the reaction she had expected. There was that glimmer of hope, Hinata can see that. What else was there she had never thought she'd see in a million years when their eyes met. Fear. Fear not of croc monsters or shadows, but fear of Hinata. Its then that whatever's been keeping her silver-haired maiden down all weekend is far more horrible than she had thought.
Her lips part, but no words come out. How could Masumi not trust her, when she so wants to? Was she that transparent in those regrets? The shock grows, and Hina's left shaking her head as Masumi steps away. She never meant to hurt her! All she ever wanted was for her to be happy!
But that was it, wasn't it. A burden. Hinata's jaw nearly hits the pavement at that, but she certainly is hearing every word of it. How many times had Masumi come to her, had sought acceptance from her, and how many times had Hina always been there with arms wide open. Its easy enough to see just why one would feel that they could be unworthy. To fear the one person who would never think of turning on them in a million years.
Right. This shit stops now.
Hinata stands upright, arms still folded, eyes no longer sparkling as they are burning with determination. "I don't know what's happening, but I'm not going to stand by and let you get all emo on me, Masumi-chan! You've never been a burden to me, not as long as I could see your smile or- or lose myself in your eyes! Its not what you are that I care about, its who you are that I adore! And as long as I can see you smile, then... then that's all I ever needed!"
There's a beat as emotions override her logic circuits. "You don't have to be strong. I'll always be strong enough for both of us!" Kamina may be tossing her a thumbs-up from the hereafter.
And in many ways, the fear which lurks in Masumi's eyes runs so much deeper than any fear of monsters or shadows ever could -- ultimately, the physical wounds which such things represent would heal far quicker than the emotional wounds which continue to plague the silver-haired girl, and form the root of the fear she is experiencing now. Injury to the body is ultimately transient, and even death itself could be considered to be merely a passing underneath many styles of thought. But /betrayal/.
Betrayal lasts so much longer. Even the wounds appear to have healed on the surface, betrayal leaves behind scars which could easily take years to heal. Often, they never heal completely. And it makes it so difficult to /trust/, no matter how much Masumi desperately /wants/ to. It's tearing her apart inside, heart and spirit striving to take that step forward -- only to come to a slamming stop. Like a dog on the end of the chain, constantly lunging forward only to be violently yanked back by the steel collar around its neck. With no way to release itself from this bondage, no matter the intensity of its desire.
Masumi continues to breath a little heavily in obvious distress, even as her slender shoulders remain slumped in apparent defeat. She just...she wants it. She wants /so badly/ to trust. To let go. But she doesn't know how. She doesn't know how. One hand clenches tightly as intensely frustrated tears begin to drip down delicate features. Perhaps it would simply be better for Hinata if she just...just left. Anymore, she's nothing but a weight on a bright and energetic and beautiful girl, one that deserves far better than to constantly be picking up the pieces of someone else's life.
She's so /weak/. She didn't use to have these problems, she didn't use to be constantly falling apart at every new development. Somewhere along the way, she lost that control and understanding, and she can't see how to get it back. Maybe back then it wouldn't have come to this. Maybe back then she would have been strong enough to provide her part of that mutual support which this kind of close relationship requires. But now -- now she's merely being parasitic. Intellectually, she can recognize that she's not healthy to this relationship.
Masumi turns back around with an expression of surprise, perhaps even a faint hint of...shock, as Hinata starts talking, troubled azure eyes immediately drawn to those diamonds of burning determination. "H-Hinata...I...I..." she trails off, seeming to be struggling within herself. Struggling to /believe/ that Hinata really wants her, despite her weakness, her flaws. Right there on that precipice, swaying precariously between falling to either side.
Hinata couldn't tell the exact reasons that have drug Masumi down, but she had a very good suspicion as to what was the main driving force. "I know it can't be easy," she answers, still glowing with the fearlessness that has carried her through the trials of the past year. "Not in this society. Boys are boys and girls are girls and Japanese are Japanese and that's that." A dismissive hrmph floats her bangs, "Mom 'n Dad taught me that tradition is nice but following your heart is always /always/ better."
She's right in front of the silver-haired girl now, easily within reach to take each of Masumi's forearms gently in hand. Tightened lips curl up into a grin, head and ponytail cocked as she takes in those troubled azures. "So I'll be strong enough for both of us. And someday, you might need to be strong enough for both of us too! I always thought I was pretty perceptive but you make me look like an amateur sometimes!" Its a thought that brings another radiance to her, one not just of confidence but deep appreciation as well. "But you're no burden. You'll never be a burden, Masumi-chan." The grin gets a little cheeky, dimples growing, "I mean, all the time we're together, and its like we're both walking on air all the time!"
Masumi quivers very faintly when Hinata begins to so precisely dig at the heart of a number of issues -- there's been so many times in the past when she really believed that other people truly were accepting her for who she was, only to find out later that some aspect of herself caused them to reject her. It's never been entirely easy walking that line, never quite acting the right way to fit in with the boys, and never quite having the right physicality to fight in with the girls. A stranger from both camps, a lonely sojourner in the desert between them.
And of course there were other things about her that never quite meshed right with society. She was /different/, and to be different was to be pushed to the outside, never quite accepted. In some respects, perhaps it wasn't even entirely their fault. That drive for solidarity and unity was an evolutionary imperative, and one that had given mankind the power in its earliest days to overcome incredible obstacles. She could recognize on an intellectual level that it wasn't something easy to simply toss aside, biologically hardwired within every living human -- but of course that knowledge didn't really make it any less lonely, any easier to trust.
Because of course, pattern recognition was biologically hardwired as well. After so many times -- and she was given a fresh reminder of this pattern a couple of days ago, just in case she had started to forget -- the instictive response was to protect herself. To hide behind those walls. If you never formed any such connections, after all, they couldn't hurt you. It was only when you allowed them to mean something to you, to be /important/. Once they were past the outside walls, that's when they could strike at the heart. That's when they /hurt/.
Masumi swallows as Hinata takes both forearms, intensely troubled gaze never once leaving the other girl's eyes. Hinata has never once rejected her, has always accepted her no matter what side she saw. The feminity. The impulse to transition, even if it was something she personally struggled with. Her membership in KNOWS. Her deep involvement in the occult. Her work in the seedier side of Japan. And...her weakness. So much that she has slowly revealed to her, and yet not once has she turned her back. But there's still that nagging doubt, fear. Will that always remain true? There simply hasn't been enough time for Hinata to see everything, and there are yet still more secrets remaining.
Will one of them cause Hinata to turn her back on her? She doesn't want to believe that any would, but once again there's those strong currents of pattern recognition. She's thought before that a potential friend, because they had accepted her for everything else, would continue to accept her in the future -- and yet so many times, they haven't. The rational approach would be to trust in the value of past experience, and simply walk away here before she's hurt. Even if Hinata is willing to support her now, will she always be? Will she decide in the future that she's simply had enough? Once again, Masumi finds that she intensely doesn't want to believe that. But patterns.
And yet...yet as she gazes back into Hinata's eyes. As she /feels/ Hinata's aura. Light. Hope. Faith. Undying Determination. As these things play across her soul, there's that quiet voice in the back of her mind. Barely a whisper, but quietly insistent. If she is looking back at past experience, then she must also note that she has recovered herself after each time. Even if Hinata ultimately does betray her, Masumi can trust in the weight of experience that she is strong enough to recover. So perhaps...perhaps taking a long-term view, the loss would be very small. But in the reverse...what if she does not betray her? She has received hints of possible futures. And once again, taking a long-term view...the loss would be monumental. So then isn't the greater risk walking away?
Masumi continues to visibly struggle internally as she looks back into Hinata's eyes. And then finally, there's a change. One step forward. "H...Hinata," she begins, voice thick with emotion. Eyes and voice pleading. Pleading for Hinata to give her the strength to trust, for she does not have it on her own. "Promise...promise me you'll never turn your back on me."
Hinata hurt someone she cared for very much once. Its a mistake she'll never repeat again. She should've by all rights still be dating Akatsuki. They should still be the couple that all of SEES adores, and...
... and if she hadn't, would she and Masumi be this close? Its why Hinata doesn't dwell on regrets for long, there's always something in the present to build on. There's always a next at-bat.
Gentle hands slide behind silver locks as Hina draws herself close, holding on and holding up with all of her strength. Even if she's only a banjo-hitting centerfielder, she's got power where it counts. There are a lot of things she can say right at this moment. She'd never think of it. Never dream of it. Never even considered it. But that's just a lot of words. "I promise," Hinata whispers, leaning in, ever so softly brushing her lips past Masumi's.
There is a single moment which hangs in the air for an eternity. A single breath of time which freezes forever around the pair. A single, solitary instant where the universe aligns in perfection. The world stops. Two words float eternal in the expanse of infinity. Everything changes.
'I promise.'
The world snaps back.
And nothing is the same.
Hinata can feel Masumi's body relaxing into her grip, but the physical is only an indication of something far deeper -- perhaps all the more poignant for the hostile world they currently find themselves in. It is an act of complete trust. A total belief that Hinata will never break that promise. The willingness to let down the walls, to let Hinata in to where she is most vulnerable. Because she believes with her entire being that Hinata will never turn her back on her. It is not weakness. It is not trusting because there is nothing else left.
It is a /choice/. She /chooses/ to trust Hinata with everything that she has. Everything that she is. Even in that soft kiss, Masumi's eyes never leave hers -- and the other girl can see the absolute trust which shines deep in their depths. Nothing is held back. Though only time will bring some things to the surface, there is a silent promise in her eyes, right now. A promise to never hide. To never conceal. To never lie. There will be times that she fails in this, for old habits die hard, but she promises to strive with her entire being to overcome those.
Faith. Trust. They come through in her eyes, and are felt in every part of her mind and heart and soul. Incredibly deep and powerful emotions, but not simply feelings. A /choice/. A conscious committment to let go of her doubts, her pain, her fear. And instead to believe.
In that same moment, Hinata can see just how much it truly meant to Masumi. She never had any doubts in herself, not when it came to how much Masumi meant to her. But to see and feel those doubts in the one person she held as dear in her world as her sisters, if for the brief moment it was troubling. If she had half a mind to think that way, she'd wonder just how there could be any fear at all. Yet she knew where her courage would lead, and her reward is feeling all that tension wash away. The form of her courage had prevailed again. She was brave enough for both of them.
The kiss doesn't linger, not when the sparkle in those beautiful eyes is haunted by the madness-inducing moonlight. Hinata seperates enough so that Masumi - her Masumi - can see the wide breadth of that dimpled smile. She's never been more cheerful, if only because it seems to be her natural state of being. A hand strokes aside some stray silver bangs as the full elegance and beauty is drawn in. "Your future is too bright for me to miss out on, Masumi-chan. I want to be there with you the whole way."