Title: Eggplants?
Author/Artist:
ezcap1st
Rating: PG13
Warnings: OOC-ness, foul language, one WoW reference, spoilers for chap 336.
Prompt: I - 40. Mukuro - not an illusion; "The scene he saw reminded him of hell"
Word count: 755
Summary: General crack.
Daemon stepped out of the shadows and -
Mukuro immediately felt like strangling
the bastard. Wait, scratch that. Strangling would be going easy on
the ghoul and not satisfying enough for him. When he got hold of that
slippery trickster, he would string him up by the toes, rip off all
the hair on his scalp, shred his disgusting clothes (but, maybe
those pants could stay. They looked fairly stylish. Not that Mukuro
would ever admit it), deform his looks beyond redemption, and
finally, put that undead zombie through the most terrifying illusions
he could conjure, to break him.
Mukuro schemed and stewed in his anger,
stuck in the body of the owl as his vessel, unaware of the fearsome
aura he was emitting. And Spade, that - that - words failed to
describe his utter loathing of that despicable parasite.
Even using such a term was degrading the existence of parasites
everywhere.
The unwelcome intruder smirked and
raised his hand to flip a handful of greasy, limp, black hair, his
eyes trained on Mukuro.
Outwardly, he remained stoic.
Inwardly, the wielder of the Six Paths
of Hell wailed in anguish.
That goddamned swine - he hadn't even
bothered to cast an illusion to make Mukuro's body look charming!
Just whisking his body out of Vendice, throwing on a mismatched
outfit (as if mismatched eyes meant a similar outfit would work)
without any care as to what a fashion faux pas he was committing, and
absolutely ruining his hair. His hair.
His beautiful, flowing, long locks of silk, that he'd been planning
on getting trimmed, first thing when he broke out of Vendice. (To
accentuate his suavity.)
Then, he would turn up before Tsunayoshi, sweeping him off his feet,
getting closer to acquiring his vessel to destroy the world...
That plan is ruined now, all because of that thoughtless,
inconsiderate imbecile! Tsunayoshi, and everyone else present, looked
utterly repulsed! Why, he was going to get his revenge on that
thrice-accursed lich and get back his dignity, even if he had to
return to hell to accomplish this goal!
As if he had sensed Mukuro's thoughts, Daemon's smirk widened. He
broke his gaze from Mukuro and focused his attention on Tsunayoshi.
Again, he raised his hand.
(Oh
no, no, no... he wasn't going to...)
He did. That smug creep blew Tsunayoshi a kiss, winking suggestively.
The brunet's eyes widened, a horror-struck expression etched firmly
on his face.
Then he fainted. His silver-haired puppy leapt to defend his honour,
only go down within seconds, stomach rumbling in protest.
“Daemon probably cast an illusion of Bianchi,” Reborn commented.
(Like
he didn't already know that.)
Yamamoto was next up, but he shielded his eyes too late, a nosebleed
suddenly gushing down his face, and he too was down for the count.
Enma whimpered, but bravely stepped up to the challenge. Spade turned
on him, posing suggestively with a coy grin on his lips, and the
useless brat passed out as well, furious blush painting his face.
Hibari grunted, then launched himself, knocking out Lambo in his
progress. Daemon sneered, raising a transparent barrier to shield
himself just in the nick of time. His hands trailed down, slowly,
teasingly, unbuttoning his pants and -
He
never got any further, as Chrome barrelled into the Cloud man in her
haste to defend Mukuro-sama's dignity. Hibari twitched, agitated,
then backed off as Chrome channelled her willpower into the Vongola
Gear, igniting her flames.
“Nufu, does the kitten wish to challenge me?”
“You won't get away with this!”
“Pray tell, why not?”
“Because... Because you're not sexy! You don't have any charms!
You're just acting like a slut in Mukuro-sama's body! Mukuro-sama is
far more attractive than you can ever hope to be, low-class wannabe
filth!”
Daemon snarled and started fighting Chrome in earnest. “I'm the
sexier one! Know your place, dumb bitch!”
Mukuro
watched them and resisted the urge to face-palm. The scene he saw
reminded him of hell, where such ridiculous fights broke out everyday
for no legit reasons,
and it was more embarrassing
than intimidating. He
glanced around at the others. The unconscious ones hadn't woken up,
the Arcobaleno had supposedly dozed off (but
there was an amused smirk on his face),
and the skylark had left (he
distinctly heard something like 'catfight' muttered as the prefect
passed). As glad as he
was that Chrome had risen to the occasion... the illusionist felt
downright humiliated.
(Of
course, he'd die before he confessed to that.)