Trolling, Triumvirate, Technologic
More stuff for khrfest~ (And apologies if I'm stuffing up tagging or format or something...)
Title: Trolling
By: insuredbymafia
Summary: Daemon Spade should never underestimate Giotto, no matter how sentimental and idealistic he may seem. (And he’ll have to take into account the rest of the Family as well).
Prompt: III-13. Giotto + D. Spade - crack; “You just got punk’d troll’d!” (fic)
Warning: Well, crack-ish, and just weird in general. Plus a chance of spoilers for Ch326 (my tweaking of it, anyway) and Knuckle quoting the Bible.
Rating: PG
My plans are finally coming into fruition. Giotto, you foolish fool! Daemon Spade had to suppress the urge to cackle until after everything had fallen into place.
Elsewhere, Giotto was shaking his head. “I may be idealistic, but I’m not stupid,” he muttered. “Guess I duped Spade a lot better than I expected.”
---
With an amazing sense of timing and attention to dramatic detail, the Guardians burst from out under their dark cloaks. They all posed dramatically, except for Asari Ugetsu, who took a little longer to unfold his traditional hat into its normal state and arrange it like so.
“Asari, how the hell did you do that?”
Why, my hat has a convenient hinge, G. See?”
“…”
Cozart Shimon gaped at them in wonder and befuddlement. Lampo gave him a little wave.
“Hey Cozart, how’s it going?” G nodded, looking very chill. “Aside from the whole, you know, Daemon Spade unleashing his evil plot and trying to fuck everything up. Sorry about that. Knew there was a reason I didn’t like the guy.”
“As I said unto the Lord, that is one bad apple,” Knuckle said in agreement. “I suppose I’m doing the honours of starting off?”
“If you wouldn’t mind,” Asari smiled while clapping a reassuring hand on Cozart’s shoulder. “We’ll follow your lead, Knuckle.”
Knuckle looked stern as he opened his Bible before striding forward to meet the horde of enemies.
“Make sure they can hear you!” G called out after him.
Knuckle didn’t answer, but his pace increased, and he opened his mouth. “FOR TODAY’S ULTIMATE LESSON,” he bellowed, “I SHALL BE RECITING FROM PSALM 112, FIRST VERSE!”
“What on earth…?” Cozart said.
“PRAISE THE LORD! BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO FEARS THE LORD, WHO DELIGHTS GREATLY IN HIS COMMANDMENTS!”
Cozart’s mind went blank. “He’s going to quote the Bible?”
“Yeah, put the fear of God into them,” Lampo said, not snickering, but kind of amused nonetheless. “It’s certainly an experience when Knuckle goes into preacher-mode.”
“…I’m just here for the battles,” Alaude muttered, spinning his handcuffs in one hand. “So let’s just fight already.”
Enemy lines faltered in the face of one man, his unshakeable faith, and the numbers congregating behind him.
“HE WILL NOT BE AFRAID OF EVIL TIDINGS; HIS HEART IS STEADFAST, TRUSTING IN THE LORD! HIS HEART IS ESTABLISHED; HE WILL NOT BE AFRAID, UNTIL HE SEES HIS DESIRE UPON HIS ENEMIES! HE HAS DISPERSED ABROAD, HE HAS GIVEN TO THE POOR; HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS ENDURES FOREVER; HIS HORN WILL BE EXALTED WITH HONOUR!”
Cozart stared around. His Family members easily accommodated the Vongola into the fold; although some were a little weirded out by the other Family’s antics, he could see some of his own clutching at crosses hanging around necks. One small man in the back was quoting Knuckle word for word.
“THE WICKED WILL SEE IT AND BE GRIEVED; HE WILL GNASH HIS TEETH AND MELT AWAY; THE DESIRE OF THE WICKED SHALL PERISH!”
They all grasped their weapons at the ready.
“You know, I have a feeling that this will become one of the craziest things I do with my life,” Cozart murmured, thinking about the repercussions and the plots that had arisen, or would arise in future.
“ATONE, IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!”
“Bitches,” Alaude added, as the Vongola and Shimon, standing side by side, ran to meet their foes.
It would be many years later before Daemon Spade could full appreciate how wonderfully he’d been tricked in turn.
---
In the 21st century, Daemon Spade’s eye twitched. “Giotto, you son-of-a-”
Title: Triumvirate
By: insuredbymafia
Summary: You’ll be hard-pressed to deal with them when they’re on their own, but heaven help you if they team up…
Prompt: III-36. Ryohei/Hana/Hibari; the most badass mafia team (fic)
Warning: Exactly what it says on the tin.
Rating: PG
There is no differentiation as to who is allocated the beauty, brawn and brains between the three of them. Ryohei has plenty of brawn, but he’s handsome (when not covered in bruises, bandages, or in desperate need of blood transfusions). Hana herself is quite beautiful, and intelligent to boot (academically at least - consorting with mobsters isn’t exactly one of her smartest decisions). Hibari is even trickier. With his good looks, cunning mind and unholy strength, he appeared to possess all three (the lucky bastard).
Needless to say, despite blessed traits, it doesn’t change the fact that with Ryohei’s extremeness and Hibari’s default personality set to violent recluse, Hana ends up as the designated mediator.
They’re doing business in Tokyo this time. Hana visits a few local businesses, taking care of legal issues and dealing with all the official people. She’s shrewd, knows implicitly how the system works, knows all the loopholes within it, and keeps an eye out for which companies to invest in.
Ryohei acts as himself, which translates to an exuberant associate that manages to unwittingly charm his way past multiple secretaries and unmade appointments. He also bonds with some security guards over boxing and sumo, securing access to the more restricted buildings, and his presence convinces a few shady characters hanging around the main street that trying to invite Hana for karaoke and ‘some fun’ may not turn out to be a good idea after all.
Hibari walks off alone to meet some contacts, namely a few old Disciplinary Committee members who’ve relocated nearby. All pedestrians shift away from him subtly, including a travelling salesman, a charity worker asking for donations, and a modelling agent who decides that he quite likes the arrangement of his face as it is.
(The charity worker for the Japan Earthquake Relief Fund is surprised when a small yellow bird lands on her container and drops a hefty donation inside. Let it not be said that Hibari isn’t mindful of the community).
They meet up a few hours later for some down time. Hana needs a coffee to regain her strength, Hibari opts for a small green tea, having enjoyed the hospitality of comrades earlier, and the both of them persuade Ryohei to buy his usual sports drink rather than Red Bull or V, because he’s got plenty of energy to burn off already.
“All these years, and he’s still essentially a child at heart,” Hana says as Ryohei goes off to pay the bill.
Hibari’s eyes flicker. “You hate children.”
“I can’t quite bring myself to hate this one.”
Hibari sniffed. “I can.”
“Liar,” Hana said fondly. It doesn’t escape her attention that Hibari allows an extra thirty centimetres for her and Ryohei than everyone else present in regards to his personal space. Details like that speak volumes.
They’ll eventually head for home, but not before Hana blackmails a corrupt police officer, Ryohei destroys a pachinko parlour, and Hibari bites a lot of people to death for disturbing the peace.
(Along with loitering with intent, wasting oxygen, and trying to sell him a fake Rolex. Hibari has never been one to settle for shoddy workmanship).
All in all, it was a quiet day.
Title: Technologic
By: insuredbymafia
Summary: Spanner has to deal with an unexpected situation - a crush on Sawada Tsunayoshi. Funnily enough, it’s not his own he’s referring to.
Prompt: III-45. Spanner/Tsuna - prototype, there’s always a first for everything (fic)
Warning: Um, robots, I guess? And vague spoilers for Future Arc.
Rating: PG
“Spanner-san?”
The mechanic almost hit his head on an overhanging component of the Anti Byakuran Mosca. “Vongola Decimo,” he said, surprise reverting back to usual cool.
Sawada Tsunayoshi hovered at the entrance of the workroom. “Could I have a word?”
He quickly placed his screwdrivers into a pocket. “Of course.”
Plans of time-warping and such aside, it was still a little disconcerting to deal with this older version of the Vongola Decimo, rather than the cute teenage version that had previously X-Burnered his way around Merone Base. This time, it was the boss. Taller. More self-assured. Experienced.
Legally of age.
Tsunayoshi smiled as he entered, tailed by a small, familiar presence. “It’s about my tag-along, actually,” the man admitted.
“…I was wondering where he’d gone,” Spanner muttered, pulling off his gloves as he stared down at the Mini Mosca. He’d painstakingly fixed the little robot since its previous destruction at the hands of Iris Hepburn. It had been a prototype of a much more innocent design in comparison to its other Mosca counterparts, yet this time around Spanner had changed his designs a little. He’d been touched that the Mini Mosca had defended him so readily, and it didn’t seem right to rebuild without adding reinforcements.
“…He’s been wandering around the corridors again,” Tsuna was explaining in bemusement. “Followed me around quite a bit as well. Gokudera’s been a little iffy about that,” the man continued, scratching his neck.
Spanner brought a hand to his chin as he frowned down at the Mini Mosca. Being a robot, it didn’t appear at all guilty. In fact, Spanner had a sneaking suspicion that the smug vibe he was picking up wasn’t entirely his imagination. “Do you think Mini Mosca might be feeling lonely?” he eventually said.
“Could be,” Tsuna replied, patting the Mini Mosca absentmindedly on its head. It actually purred with its motors. “I’d just finished my shower when I realised he was hanging around in my section of the building.
Spanner’s thoughts immediately distanced itself from associating ‘Tsunayoshi’ with ‘shower’. The last thing he needed was his brain overheating at such an inopportune time.
(Japan had communal bathhouses, didn’t it? Best. Country. Ever.)
“Sorry if he was any trouble,” Spanner said aloud, before having a brainwave. “I’m curious, are you busy right now?”
Tsuna blinked, and then checked his watch. “I have a meeting with Basil in ten minutes, but I’ll be free afterwards. Is it about the Anti Byakuran Mosca?” he enquired.
Ah, this was safe territory. Spanner allowed himself a small grin. “Yes. Your past self managed to lead everybody to defeat him, which rendered the entire operation null and void, but I’ve been toying with the idea to create a new Mosca series. At the very least, I’ll be able to implement a few upgrades. That loud Varia Guardian was here only a few days ago complaining about the Gola Mosca. Perhaps you’d like to take a look at the plans later?” he offered.
“Sure, I’d like that,” Tsuna said cheerfully. “I guess I’ll see you then.” He nodded respectfully before taking his leave. Both Spanner and the Mini Mosca watched him go.
…You know, Spanner was sure that he’d never programmed the Mini Mosca to flash little hearts where its eyes should be.
His eyes narrowed. Is there is a glitch in the system? Or perhaps…Mini Mosca is infatuated? It had shown remarkable courage and sentiment in its previous sacrifice to help save him, so perhaps it wasn’t too farfetched to think that it was harbouring a strange crush-of-sorts on Sawada Tsunayoshi.
Spanner crouched down to meet eye-to-eye with the Mini Mosca. “This...isn’t healthy,” he said, feeling absurdly like he had been thrust into the role of a parent. “Wandering around the base is one thing - I know you like to hang around with the Varia Mosca unit, but stalking the Vongola Boss is another matter entirely.”
Mini Mosca swivelled its head.
“Gokudera Hayato is his right-hand man. He’s allowed to follow him around; it’s part of the job.” Even if that man took it to extremes.
Silence, aside from some movement from the Mini Mosca’s fingers.
“The Varia Boss’ preoccupation with Vongola Decimo is well-known. He has leeway considering their past history.” Granted, said past history involved trying to kill each other, but that wasn’t anything new in the mafia.
There was a final shrugging motion from the robot. Spanner sighed. “The Rain Guardian may think that it’s cute, but the Storm Guardian’s already made a complaint. The one that’s very familiar with dynamite and has taken to keeping a log about you being a possible UMA.”
Mini Mosca must have gotten the hint that its actions might lead to trouble in the form of angry weapon-toting mobsters, because it whirred off quietly, giving off the air of a sulking child. Spanner shook his head in exasperation. Things had been a lot simpler in robotics when he hadn’t been inadvertently creating ones with near-sentiency.
It made things more interesting though. And he’d always had a soft spot for Mini Mosca. Maybe it really was lonely, which was why it had taken to rambling around the grounds, and fallen for Tsunayoshi (like pretty much everyone else in the Family).
He decided it was high time to build another robot. Maybe it would alleviate the entire situation if Mini Mosca had a comrade closer in size and physiology. Then he could worry about other things. Like Tsunayoshi’s visit later.
The other man had always been interested in Spanner’s doings since their meeting and the escapades of his younger self. Then again, Japan was at the forefront of technology - Spanner supposed that the sight of robots had stirred something in the Vongola Boss’ soul. Tsunayoshi seemed quite fond of them when they weren’t attempting to shoot him in the head, and would pop by at odd moments (sometimes to avoid zealous friends/co-workers/rivals/homicidal former tutors).
Everyone needed a haven of their own, and Spanner felt privileged to be able to share a part of his world with Tsuna. Even with illusionists and disciplinary lone wolves giving him the evil eye.
Yes, Spanner thought to himself grimly, there was plenty more competition to worry about than the robot.
It’s a little later than I intended, but I hope you enjoy. It certainly shows that I tend to go for crack and humour, doesn’t it?