sorority boys fic: maybe its just seperation anxiety
Wrote it before my last class, and touched it up between that one and this one. School feeds my muses, and that's both annoying and really cool. Now I have to run to get to class though, so... *shoots off really, really fast*
Fandom: Sorority Boys
Title: Maybe It's Just Seperation Anxiety
Rated: R, language
Pairing: Dave/Adam
Notes: Most of the fic in this fandom... even though there are very few fics IN this fandom, lol... are genderfuck fics. I decided to write one that's not. Or, that's as much not as it can be when the whole concept is that they dressed up in drag in the movie. LOL.
[ maybe it's just seperation anxiety ]
by kHo
His only reaction to the knock on his door was to blink. He didn’t bother to lift his head, or call out instructions. No ‘go away’ or ‘come in’ or ‘go fuck yourself.’ He didn’t even need to ask who it was, he just knew. No one else would give enough of a shit about him having locked himself in his bedroom for the past twenty-four hours.
“Hey man,” Dave said, walking in without the invite, just like Adam had known he would. “What’s up?”
“The ceiling,” he said, because that’s what he’d always said. That’s what he’d always said since he was eighteen years old and he’d met Dave. Might have even been the first thing he’d ever said to him, because he’d been high, and everything had been funny then, even something as lame and juvenile as that.
Dave laughed and sat down on the edge of his bed, and Adam wondered if it was intentional, the way he sat on the edge like that so as not to touch Adam at all. It had never been like that, not before. They’d never had much of a concept of personal space. Drunk, and high, and eating cheetos, with Adam’s legs hooked over Dave’s knees on the couch. Spaced out and tired as fuck, stomach aching from too much food and too much laughter, with Dave’s head in his lap. Laughing, and not giving a shit about anything but what else fun was going to happen, what they were going to fuck up next.
Now though, Dave sat so far on the edge of the bed that if Adam coughed, he’d probably bounce right off. “You’ve been up here a long time,” Dave said, looking at him, eyes concerned, and Adam hates that. Hates the worry in them. Hates the fact that there’s actually reason to worry.
“Taking a hiatus,” Adam said, closing his eyes, fingers laced together on his stomach. He does a pretty good approximation of relaxed, even if every fiber of his being is humming with stress and nerves.
Dave sighed and leaned back on the bed, and Adam tries not to take too much comfort in the fact that now his arm is digging into his hip. “Somehow I think it’s more than that, Adam.”
“Maybe I’m having separation anxiety,” Adam said, his voice much more bitter than he’d realized it would be. “Adina was a force.”
He could feel Dave’s eyes on him, but he didn’t open his eyes. Didn’t want to see the concern again. Wanted, in fact, to punch it right off Dave’s face, because he’d never understand, no matter how much he thought he would. “Adam, what’s going on? Seriously, you’ve been locked up in here like some goddamn prisoner for the past day. Doofer said he brought you pizza and you wouldn’t even touch it. Come on man, it’s pizza. You ate pizza when you had the flu and were puking every two hours, man.”
“Leave me alone, Dave,” he said, his fingers clenching around each other. He could feel the urge to scream surging through his body, and every time he heard Dave breath it only amplified. “I just feel like being alone.”
The bed dipped as Dave leaned up to look at him, but he still kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Is this about Jimmy? Cause I’ll kick that fucker’s ass if you want me to.”
Adam laughed, because honestly, like he could give a fuck. Jimmy was a little runt shitball, Adam could kick him from here to kingdom come if he had half a mind to do it, and he didn’t need Dave fighting his battles for him. “Please, man, like I give a shit about Jimmy. So he jerked off and came on my skirt. Big fuckin’ deal.”
“Adam, the rumor is--”
Adams eyes flew open, and Dave shuts his mouth quicker than Adam’s ever seen him. “I don’t give a fuck what rumor is, Dave. If he’d ‘backdoored’ me, Dave, don’t you think I’d feel that?!”
Dave’s eyes widened but he didn’t back up. “Well yeah, man, but I don’t know if you’d tell me.”
Adam rolled his eyes. “Trust me, Dave. If he’d fucked me, I wouldn’t have been able to hide it.”
“Then what the fuck is your problem man,” Dave yelled, and it was really amazing how his nostrils flared when he did that. Adam used to think it was funny, used to mock him for it, but right now all he does is kick angrily at his bed, because Jesus, can’t anyone just leave him the fuck alone? “You’re pissed off at something, or upset about something, and you’re going through some kind of… I don’t know, man, but all the signs are here for depression, and I know I only took one class and only attended it half the fuckin’ time, but fuck man! What the fuck?!”
The thing is, he’d known it was a bad idea. He’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt being Adina, being in that house with all of those girls, as one of them, was going to cause irreparable damage. He just hadn’t known it was possible to absorb hormones through a fucking wig and bra stuffed with socks. “Just leave me alone, Dave.”
But Dave doesn’t. he just settles back down on the bed next to Adam, his elbow still digging uncomfortably into Adam’s hip, and sighs. “You wanna get drunk? High? Play yahtzee?”
And oh yeah, wouldn’t that be a good idea right now. Adam’s confused as hell right now to begin with, so yeah, what he really needs is a hallucinogen. “No.”
“Poker? Gin? I know you still have Clue somewhere back there buried underneath all your porn.”
Adam almost smiled at that, because Dave still does know him, even if he doesn’t know everything. “No, Dave. I don’t want to play Clue.”
He can feel Dave’s eyes on him again, and even though the tone is light he can feel the frown on his face. “Dress up? Do each other’s hair?”
“What the fuck, Dave,” Adam yelled, eyes darting open to stare at him. “What kind of fucked up shit--”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, and you won’t fucking tell me,” Dave yelled, sitting up and drawing his legs onto the bed, glaring down at him. “All I know is that all of a sudden you’re completely antisocial, which is pretty fucked up since you were almost too social before, and the only thing I can think of is our little stint as Daisy and Adina!”
And yeah, he’s pretty much on the money there, but he’s got it all wrong. Because it’s not that Adam wants to be a woman now, it’s not that Adam’s confused about whether he’s a man or a woman trapped in a man’s body. It’s none of that. Adam’s definitely a dude, and he’s fully comfortable with that, and he has no desire to don a wig and apply mascara and base and lipstick, and he sure as fuck doesn’t wanna wear a bra again. “So what, you’re waiting for me to tell you I’m about to have a sex change?”
Dave’s mouth turned down into a frown, more of a pout really, and that’s what it is. That’s what Adam’s problem is. Because Adam had never really noticed before how gorgeous Dave was. He’d known he wasn’t ugly, for sure, but he’d never noticed just how attractive he was. He’d sure as hell never been attracted to him. Adam’s pretty sure it’s fucked up that he didn’t notice that until he was Daisy.
“Then what is it,” he asked, hand coming down to rest on Adam’s arm, squeezing it gently. Telling him it’s okay, y ou can tell me. You can tell me anything, Adam, I won’t judge you. And he probably even means it. It’s probably even true. Except Adam’s not worried about what Dave will think, he’s too busy freaking out over the fact that he now finds his best friend attractive. “Tell me, man.”
Adam sighed again and closed his eyes to block out Dave’s profile. “I’m fine, Dave. I’m just. I just want some time alone right now.”
“Shit,” Dave muttered, jerking his hand off of Adam’s arm and sitting back. “Fine, Adam. Fine. I won’t press you, but. I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
“And if I told you, you wouldn’t be,” Adam said, knowing full well that’s a lie. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing anymore, doesn’t know why he even opened his mouth again, because now it’s going to come out. Now that he’s said that, there’s no way Dave will let up.
There was a breath or two of shocked silence, and Adam resisted the urge to look at Dave’s expression. He doesn’t need to, he can already see the hurt on his face. “How can you say that to me?”
Adam laughed, short and bitter. “Because I’m a piece of shit, Dave. Leave me alone.”
“Fuck you,” Dave said, and he didn’t even sound that angry. He sounded more defeated than anything. Adam could really hate himself for making him sound like that. “You think I’m the kind of person that would abandon you?”
“Obviously not, Dave, you’re still fucking here,” Adam said, softening his voice.
“Then why would you think I’d leave if you told me whatever this is,” Dave asked, shifting again, closer to Adam now, and this is just pure hell. “I don’t give a shit, Adam. Whatever it is, I don’t care. We’re not just two guys from the same fuckin’ frat, man, we’re friends. No one knows me better than you, and I thought no one knew you better than me. Except maybe not, because the Adam I knew would have known he could tell me anything.”
And Adam opened his eyes at that, because it’s too late now. It’s too far gone, because he couldn’t just sit there and let Dave think he was the problem here. “Even if what I had to tell you was that every time I look at you, I want to kiss you,” he asked, keeping his voice neutral, calm. “Even that, Dave? Would your friend Adam think you’d be okay with that?”
Dave’s eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. “What?”
Adam laughed again, looking up at the ceiling. “Fuck it, Dave. Just leave me alone. I’ll get over it.”
Dave lifted up again, staring down at him until Adam shifts his eyes to look back up at him. “Because of Daisy?”
And that would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? If Adam were attracted to Daisy, that would be one thing. Dave made a pretty woman, there was no denying that. Except that’s not what it was. Because, yeah, Adam had been attracted to Daisy. But when Daisy had taken off her wig and her bra and grinned at him as Dave, he’d been even more attractive. And when Jimmy had puckered his lips when he wanted to kiss Adina, the only thing that had filtered through Adam’s mind was that if he had to kiss a dude to get this tape back, why in God’s name couldn’t it be Dave?
But Dave doesn’t know that, and he doesn’t have to. Adam could lie right now, say yes, because of Daisy. He was just confused because he’d been attracted to Dave when he looked like Daisy, and it would still be fucked up, but at least it would still be mostly heterosexual. He could lie so easily right now, and Dave might be uncomfortable for a minute, but in five, they’d be right back to joking.
“No,” he said instead. “No, Dave, I wish it was because of Daisy. And it kind of is, because if we hadn’t done this whole fuckin’ thing, I might would have never figured it out. But no. It’s not Daisy I’m attracted to, Dave.” He stopped and swallowed, amazed he was able to look into Dave’s eyes while he did this. “It was you.”
He watched Dave blink a few times, swallow a few more, and counted the seconds until Dave pounded his skull in. Any minute now, Dave’s hands would be curled in fists and things would never, ever, be the same. “Adam.”
Adam can’t do it anymore. He can’t look into those eyes and see the rejection. “Forget it, man,” he said, smiling softly, wondering if Dave can see the tears building in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I just need to get a hold on it. It’s fine.”
“Me too.”
Adam freezes, his insides turning over and for a minute he thinks he’s actually going to puke. “What?”
Dave’s hand is back on his arm and his eyes are as wide as they’ve ever been. “Me too.”
Adam glared at him and shifted up on his elbows. “You’re fucking with me.”
“No,” Dave said, shaking his head, scooting closer to him. “The whole time you were Adina, I kept wishing you’d just go back to being Adam. And I couldn’t figure out why. It didn’t hit me till it was all over and done with, but…” He laughed then, a little hysterically, shrugging. “But this is why.”
Adam could feel himself shaking, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn’t rip his eyes off of Dave’s. “Dave, what are you saying here?”
Dave, suddenly two inches form his face, looked straight into his eyes. “Shut up,” he said, and then his lips were on Adam’s, and it was awkward.
The angle was wrong, the lips too hard, their noses bumping against each other. His hand came up to the back of Dave’s head and he fell back onto the bed, Dave landing on top of him. And it’s not clear to him if it was the change in angle, or the fact that they were both starting to get used to it, but when Dave’s tongue licked at his lips he let out a moan and it was a whole new ballgame. Like they were just breathing each other in now. In the back of his head Adam wondered if this was all real, and then Dave’s hand was on his cock and all thoughts flew from his head.
When this was all over, he was seriously going to have to thank Adina for fucking him up if this is what he gets in return.
Fandom: Sorority Boys
Title: Maybe It's Just Seperation Anxiety
Rated: R, language
Pairing: Dave/Adam
Notes: Most of the fic in this fandom... even though there are very few fics IN this fandom, lol... are genderfuck fics. I decided to write one that's not. Or, that's as much not as it can be when the whole concept is that they dressed up in drag in the movie. LOL.
[ maybe it's just seperation anxiety ]
by kHo
His only reaction to the knock on his door was to blink. He didn’t bother to lift his head, or call out instructions. No ‘go away’ or ‘come in’ or ‘go fuck yourself.’ He didn’t even need to ask who it was, he just knew. No one else would give enough of a shit about him having locked himself in his bedroom for the past twenty-four hours.
“Hey man,” Dave said, walking in without the invite, just like Adam had known he would. “What’s up?”
“The ceiling,” he said, because that’s what he’d always said. That’s what he’d always said since he was eighteen years old and he’d met Dave. Might have even been the first thing he’d ever said to him, because he’d been high, and everything had been funny then, even something as lame and juvenile as that.
Dave laughed and sat down on the edge of his bed, and Adam wondered if it was intentional, the way he sat on the edge like that so as not to touch Adam at all. It had never been like that, not before. They’d never had much of a concept of personal space. Drunk, and high, and eating cheetos, with Adam’s legs hooked over Dave’s knees on the couch. Spaced out and tired as fuck, stomach aching from too much food and too much laughter, with Dave’s head in his lap. Laughing, and not giving a shit about anything but what else fun was going to happen, what they were going to fuck up next.
Now though, Dave sat so far on the edge of the bed that if Adam coughed, he’d probably bounce right off. “You’ve been up here a long time,” Dave said, looking at him, eyes concerned, and Adam hates that. Hates the worry in them. Hates the fact that there’s actually reason to worry.
“Taking a hiatus,” Adam said, closing his eyes, fingers laced together on his stomach. He does a pretty good approximation of relaxed, even if every fiber of his being is humming with stress and nerves.
Dave sighed and leaned back on the bed, and Adam tries not to take too much comfort in the fact that now his arm is digging into his hip. “Somehow I think it’s more than that, Adam.”
“Maybe I’m having separation anxiety,” Adam said, his voice much more bitter than he’d realized it would be. “Adina was a force.”
He could feel Dave’s eyes on him, but he didn’t open his eyes. Didn’t want to see the concern again. Wanted, in fact, to punch it right off Dave’s face, because he’d never understand, no matter how much he thought he would. “Adam, what’s going on? Seriously, you’ve been locked up in here like some goddamn prisoner for the past day. Doofer said he brought you pizza and you wouldn’t even touch it. Come on man, it’s pizza. You ate pizza when you had the flu and were puking every two hours, man.”
“Leave me alone, Dave,” he said, his fingers clenching around each other. He could feel the urge to scream surging through his body, and every time he heard Dave breath it only amplified. “I just feel like being alone.”
The bed dipped as Dave leaned up to look at him, but he still kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Is this about Jimmy? Cause I’ll kick that fucker’s ass if you want me to.”
Adam laughed, because honestly, like he could give a fuck. Jimmy was a little runt shitball, Adam could kick him from here to kingdom come if he had half a mind to do it, and he didn’t need Dave fighting his battles for him. “Please, man, like I give a shit about Jimmy. So he jerked off and came on my skirt. Big fuckin’ deal.”
“Adam, the rumor is--”
Adams eyes flew open, and Dave shuts his mouth quicker than Adam’s ever seen him. “I don’t give a fuck what rumor is, Dave. If he’d ‘backdoored’ me, Dave, don’t you think I’d feel that?!”
Dave’s eyes widened but he didn’t back up. “Well yeah, man, but I don’t know if you’d tell me.”
Adam rolled his eyes. “Trust me, Dave. If he’d fucked me, I wouldn’t have been able to hide it.”
“Then what the fuck is your problem man,” Dave yelled, and it was really amazing how his nostrils flared when he did that. Adam used to think it was funny, used to mock him for it, but right now all he does is kick angrily at his bed, because Jesus, can’t anyone just leave him the fuck alone? “You’re pissed off at something, or upset about something, and you’re going through some kind of… I don’t know, man, but all the signs are here for depression, and I know I only took one class and only attended it half the fuckin’ time, but fuck man! What the fuck?!”
The thing is, he’d known it was a bad idea. He’d known beyond a shadow of a doubt being Adina, being in that house with all of those girls, as one of them, was going to cause irreparable damage. He just hadn’t known it was possible to absorb hormones through a fucking wig and bra stuffed with socks. “Just leave me alone, Dave.”
But Dave doesn’t. he just settles back down on the bed next to Adam, his elbow still digging uncomfortably into Adam’s hip, and sighs. “You wanna get drunk? High? Play yahtzee?”
And oh yeah, wouldn’t that be a good idea right now. Adam’s confused as hell right now to begin with, so yeah, what he really needs is a hallucinogen. “No.”
“Poker? Gin? I know you still have Clue somewhere back there buried underneath all your porn.”
Adam almost smiled at that, because Dave still does know him, even if he doesn’t know everything. “No, Dave. I don’t want to play Clue.”
He can feel Dave’s eyes on him again, and even though the tone is light he can feel the frown on his face. “Dress up? Do each other’s hair?”
“What the fuck, Dave,” Adam yelled, eyes darting open to stare at him. “What kind of fucked up shit--”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, and you won’t fucking tell me,” Dave yelled, sitting up and drawing his legs onto the bed, glaring down at him. “All I know is that all of a sudden you’re completely antisocial, which is pretty fucked up since you were almost too social before, and the only thing I can think of is our little stint as Daisy and Adina!”
And yeah, he’s pretty much on the money there, but he’s got it all wrong. Because it’s not that Adam wants to be a woman now, it’s not that Adam’s confused about whether he’s a man or a woman trapped in a man’s body. It’s none of that. Adam’s definitely a dude, and he’s fully comfortable with that, and he has no desire to don a wig and apply mascara and base and lipstick, and he sure as fuck doesn’t wanna wear a bra again. “So what, you’re waiting for me to tell you I’m about to have a sex change?”
Dave’s mouth turned down into a frown, more of a pout really, and that’s what it is. That’s what Adam’s problem is. Because Adam had never really noticed before how gorgeous Dave was. He’d known he wasn’t ugly, for sure, but he’d never noticed just how attractive he was. He’d sure as hell never been attracted to him. Adam’s pretty sure it’s fucked up that he didn’t notice that until he was Daisy.
“Then what is it,” he asked, hand coming down to rest on Adam’s arm, squeezing it gently. Telling him it’s okay, y ou can tell me. You can tell me anything, Adam, I won’t judge you. And he probably even means it. It’s probably even true. Except Adam’s not worried about what Dave will think, he’s too busy freaking out over the fact that he now finds his best friend attractive. “Tell me, man.”
Adam sighed again and closed his eyes to block out Dave’s profile. “I’m fine, Dave. I’m just. I just want some time alone right now.”
“Shit,” Dave muttered, jerking his hand off of Adam’s arm and sitting back. “Fine, Adam. Fine. I won’t press you, but. I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
“And if I told you, you wouldn’t be,” Adam said, knowing full well that’s a lie. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing anymore, doesn’t know why he even opened his mouth again, because now it’s going to come out. Now that he’s said that, there’s no way Dave will let up.
There was a breath or two of shocked silence, and Adam resisted the urge to look at Dave’s expression. He doesn’t need to, he can already see the hurt on his face. “How can you say that to me?”
Adam laughed, short and bitter. “Because I’m a piece of shit, Dave. Leave me alone.”
“Fuck you,” Dave said, and he didn’t even sound that angry. He sounded more defeated than anything. Adam could really hate himself for making him sound like that. “You think I’m the kind of person that would abandon you?”
“Obviously not, Dave, you’re still fucking here,” Adam said, softening his voice.
“Then why would you think I’d leave if you told me whatever this is,” Dave asked, shifting again, closer to Adam now, and this is just pure hell. “I don’t give a shit, Adam. Whatever it is, I don’t care. We’re not just two guys from the same fuckin’ frat, man, we’re friends. No one knows me better than you, and I thought no one knew you better than me. Except maybe not, because the Adam I knew would have known he could tell me anything.”
And Adam opened his eyes at that, because it’s too late now. It’s too far gone, because he couldn’t just sit there and let Dave think he was the problem here. “Even if what I had to tell you was that every time I look at you, I want to kiss you,” he asked, keeping his voice neutral, calm. “Even that, Dave? Would your friend Adam think you’d be okay with that?”
Dave’s eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. “What?”
Adam laughed again, looking up at the ceiling. “Fuck it, Dave. Just leave me alone. I’ll get over it.”
Dave lifted up again, staring down at him until Adam shifts his eyes to look back up at him. “Because of Daisy?”
And that would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? If Adam were attracted to Daisy, that would be one thing. Dave made a pretty woman, there was no denying that. Except that’s not what it was. Because, yeah, Adam had been attracted to Daisy. But when Daisy had taken off her wig and her bra and grinned at him as Dave, he’d been even more attractive. And when Jimmy had puckered his lips when he wanted to kiss Adina, the only thing that had filtered through Adam’s mind was that if he had to kiss a dude to get this tape back, why in God’s name couldn’t it be Dave?
But Dave doesn’t know that, and he doesn’t have to. Adam could lie right now, say yes, because of Daisy. He was just confused because he’d been attracted to Dave when he looked like Daisy, and it would still be fucked up, but at least it would still be mostly heterosexual. He could lie so easily right now, and Dave might be uncomfortable for a minute, but in five, they’d be right back to joking.
“No,” he said instead. “No, Dave, I wish it was because of Daisy. And it kind of is, because if we hadn’t done this whole fuckin’ thing, I might would have never figured it out. But no. It’s not Daisy I’m attracted to, Dave.” He stopped and swallowed, amazed he was able to look into Dave’s eyes while he did this. “It was you.”
He watched Dave blink a few times, swallow a few more, and counted the seconds until Dave pounded his skull in. Any minute now, Dave’s hands would be curled in fists and things would never, ever, be the same. “Adam.”
Adam can’t do it anymore. He can’t look into those eyes and see the rejection. “Forget it, man,” he said, smiling softly, wondering if Dave can see the tears building in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I just need to get a hold on it. It’s fine.”
“Me too.”
Adam freezes, his insides turning over and for a minute he thinks he’s actually going to puke. “What?”
Dave’s hand is back on his arm and his eyes are as wide as they’ve ever been. “Me too.”
Adam glared at him and shifted up on his elbows. “You’re fucking with me.”
“No,” Dave said, shaking his head, scooting closer to him. “The whole time you were Adina, I kept wishing you’d just go back to being Adam. And I couldn’t figure out why. It didn’t hit me till it was all over and done with, but…” He laughed then, a little hysterically, shrugging. “But this is why.”
Adam could feel himself shaking, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn’t rip his eyes off of Dave’s. “Dave, what are you saying here?”
Dave, suddenly two inches form his face, looked straight into his eyes. “Shut up,” he said, and then his lips were on Adam’s, and it was awkward.
The angle was wrong, the lips too hard, their noses bumping against each other. His hand came up to the back of Dave’s head and he fell back onto the bed, Dave landing on top of him. And it’s not clear to him if it was the change in angle, or the fact that they were both starting to get used to it, but when Dave’s tongue licked at his lips he let out a moan and it was a whole new ballgame. Like they were just breathing each other in now. In the back of his head Adam wondered if this was all real, and then Dave’s hand was on his cock and all thoughts flew from his head.
When this was all over, he was seriously going to have to thank Adina for fucking him up if this is what he gets in return.