TWW Ficlet: A Little Bit of Creme Puffitude
Fandom: The West Wing
Title: A Little Bit of Crème Puffitude
Rated: PG-13, for one f-bomb
Characters: Josh, Danny
Prequel to: Like Cary Grant
Notes: I don't know what the hell is up with that title, except for the fact that it made me giggle like mad. And this is what I was trying to write originally, but blew past to write Like Cary Grant. So, here is it, presented as a prequel.
[ A Little Bit of Crème Puffitude ]
by kHo
“You know, you won. I mean, you know that right? I ask because, most people that win things they’ve been working really hard on? They smile when they’ve won them.”
Josh looked over and smiled slightly. “Hey Danny.”
Dan smiled at him. “Well, there’s the hint of a smile. Not quite the Look At The Fulbright Scholar Letter I Got Taped To My Head kind of smile I was looking for but, I guess it’ll do.”
Josh’s smile widened just a little bit. “It’s a hectic night, Danny.”
“That’s okay,” he said, stepping side by side with Josh and peering across the room. “I think I can guess what this is about.”
Josh sighed, looking away. “It’s not about anything. It’s just a hectic night. I’m tired.”
Danny smirked. “So it’s not about the fact that there’s literally a force field of tension extending from you to Donna?”
Josh swiveled his head so fast the muscles twitched. “What?”
Danny’s smile widened. “Come on man. It’s me here.”
Josh frowned, looking across the room at Donna. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, okay, I’ll explain it,” Danny said, stepping closer to Josh and lowering his voice. “See you and Donna? That gorgeous blonde over there? You and she used to be pretty close.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Danny--”
“And I used to think, God, to have what they have. That closeness. That fierce loyalty.” He looked at Josh, raising an eyebrow. “I used to think, if those two guys don’t get together, then I just don’t know what love is.”
Josh sighed, hugging his arms to h is chest. “Is this supposed to cheer me up?”
“I’m not trying to cheer you up, I’m trying to kick your ass into gear, because nobody seems to be doing that,” Danny said, grinning at him. “But then again, that was usually Donna’s job, wasn’t it?”
Josh let out another heavy sigh, flicking his eyes to Danny. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay,” Danny said, grinning and nodding.
“You don’t,” Josh said, turning to face him. “She won’t talk to me.”
Danny laughed, rolling his eyes. “So you talk to her.”
“She left me.”
Danny nodded. “I know.”
“She left me, Danny,” Josh said, looking back over at her as she talked to Will and CJ. “Every time she looks at me I can feel her hatred.”
“Oh, Josh,” Danny said, his tone admonishing. “It’s not hate.”
“Yes it is, Danny,” Josh said, looking at him. “She hates me.”
“Fine.”
Josh let out a puff of air. “What?”
“What, what?”
Josh laughed, shaking his head. “You obviously want to say something.”
“Look, I’m just saying, it’s not hate,” Danny said, looking over at Donna and stepping closer to him. “She knows exactly where you are right now. She knows exactly where in the room you are, right now, as we speak. And do you know how I know that? She won’t look at you.”
Josh nodded. “Yes. Because she hates me.”
“No, Josh,” Danny said, frowning at him. “Because it hurts too much!”
Josh shook his head. “What do you know about it anyway, Danny? You’ve been gone too long.”
“How long have we known each other, Josh,” Danny asked, cocking his head to the side.
“I don’t know,” Josh said with a shrug. “Eight, nine years?”
“And you think that just because I’ve been gone for a year I’ve forgotten how you operate,” Danny asked, quirking his eyebrows up. “I know, you know. I know you went to Germany.”
Josh closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them he stared down at the floor. “So?”
“So… what next? What did you do next?”
Josh shrugged. “What do you mean what did I do next?”
“Did you tell her you love her? Did you bring her roses? Did you ask her out for dinner? Did you yank her over to the nearest hard surface and--”
Josh rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t Danny!”
“Why the hell not,” Danny asked, spreading his arms out. “Are you that weak? Could you physically not drag her?”
Josh shook his head. “She worked for me.”
Danny sighed. “What, because the papers would get wind of it? Is that why?”
Josh looked at him. “Yeah.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “The press has thought the two of you were an item since day one. I tell you, Josh, honestly? They wouldn’t have known the difference.”
“And what about how entirely inappropriate it would have been,” Josh asked, lowering his voice even more.
“So you transfer her, Josh!” Danny shakes his head. “You’re gonna let work get in the way of what you have with her?”
Josh sighed, looking away. “Had.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Josh, I’m surprised at you.”
Josh looked at him. “Why?”
“I’ve never known you to give up so easily. A bill’s gonna pass you don’t like, you’ll stop at nothing to leave it dead in the water. Some votes you need to get? You’ll strip naked and dance in the reflection pool before you give up on getting them. My God, you got Lang in the Supreme Court, you and Toby.”
Josh frowned. “What’s your point?”
Danny rolled his eyes. “My point, Josh, is that you’re a bit of a crème puff, aren’t you?”
Josh laughed. “What?”
“Josh! You’ll bring the romance for politics, but not for Donna?!”
Josh darted his eyes to the side, watching to see if anyone had over heard. “It’s different.”
Danny shook his head. “It’s not.” He paused, thinking. “You know what? You’re right. It is different. This is more important.”
Josh sighed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve watched you be with woman after woman that I couldn’t stand, Josh. Mandy, Amy, whoever else. And it’s not that these women aren’t good women. They are. They’re just not right for you.”
Josh laughed. “What are you, my father?”
Danny shook his head. “I’m your friend.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“You make a move, Josh. You make a gesture.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “You have no idea how hard it’s been for me,” he said, looking at him. “Sitting there, knowing I can’t have her. Knowing it’s impossible. You have no idea.”
Danny snorted. “Yeah.”
“You don’t.”
“I don’t,” Danny asked, raising his eyebrows. “I have no idea what it’s like to want a woman I can’t have? I have no idea what it’s like to be in love with a woman who’s job prevents us from having a chance?” He smiles at Josh, cocking his head to the side. “Really?”
Josh smiles, looking down. “Yeah, okay. So maybe you do.”
“But I never stopped trying,” Danny said. “You have to make an effort, Josh. You can’t just go to Germany and think that’s enough.”
“Why are you doing this,” Josh asked, frowning in confusion.
“Doing what?”
“Trying to psyche me up about Donna,” Josh answered.
Danny smiled. “Cause I’m Team Josh.”
Josh laughed. “It’s my understanding that teams have more than one person on them.”
“It’s an underground kind of thing,” Danny said, his grin widening. “I’m the elected spokesperson.”
Josh shook his head. “You’re insane.”
“Because you told me she liked Goldfish,” Danny said, his tone turning serious again. “Because you tried to help me out, and yeah, it didn’t work, but our situation is different. She’s actually got a legitimate beef here. I am the enemy.”
“No you’re not. You’re one of the good guys.”
Danny smiled. “I know. But I’m still the enemy. And now she’s Chief of Staff, so… it’s even more impossible.”
Josh sighed. “Sorry, Danny.”
Danny shrugged. “I can wait. I haven’t given up, I am not discouraged.”
Josh laughed. “Better man than I.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, grinning. “But now I’m on your side, so we’ll make you just as good of a man as me.”
Josh shook his head. “It’s too late,” he said, staring once again at Donna as she walked out of the double doors. “I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s a chance.”
“But you don’t know that, Josh,” Danny said. “You gotta stick your neck out there a little. Test the waters, as it were.”
Josh looked at him, his face slightly stricken. “How?”
Danny’s smile softened and he stepped forward, putting a hand on Josh’s arm. “You know what you gotta do? You gotta do it old school.”
Josh laughed. “Meaning?”
“Old school,” Danny repeated, grinning. “Like the Inauguration, Josh. Snowballs at her windows, neighbors yelling at you to shut the fuck up. You know… that Cary Grant stuff. Howling at the moon.”
Josh cringed. “Yeah?”
Danny nodded. “Pull out the stops, Josh. It’s go time.”
Josh took a deep breath, straightening and looking at Danny. “I have to get drunk first.”
Danny laughed. “Okay. But not too drunk.”
Halfway to the bar Josh stopped, turning to Danny. “What if I can’t?”
“You can.”
Josh shook his head. “No. But what if I can’t?”
Danny grinned. “I have faith in you Josh.”
Josh sighed, starting towards the bar again. “I don’t.”
“That’s what you’ve got me for.”
Josh smiled at him as he ordered a beer. “I’ve missed you, Danny. You’ve been gone too long.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, nodding. “I have.”
“You have to come with me.”
Danny frowned. “I’m sorry?”
Josh nodded. “You have to come with me.”
“Where?”
“To tell Donna,” Josh said. “You have to come with me.”
Danny backed up, waving his hands in protest. “Oh no. I’m not coming with you.”
“You have to,” Josh said, advancing on him. “Moral support, Danny! The brotherhood!”
Danny laughed. “You need me to come with you for you to tell Donna you love her?”
Josh nodded vehemently. “I do.”
Danny shook his head, sitting down in a chair and watching Josh sit next to him. “You really are, you know?”
“I really are what,” Josh asked, grinning.
“A crème puff,” Danny said, laughing. “You really are.”
Addendum: I gotta give props to Sorkin, who inspired the line about being a creme puff. In Sports Night, he had Danny and Casey call Isaac a Cheese Danish after his stroke... I didn't use it verbatim, but it's what inspired it. And hey, anyway, they're both Sorkin-verses right?
Title: A Little Bit of Crème Puffitude
Rated: PG-13, for one f-bomb
Characters: Josh, Danny
Prequel to: Like Cary Grant
Notes: I don't know what the hell is up with that title, except for the fact that it made me giggle like mad. And this is what I was trying to write originally, but blew past to write Like Cary Grant. So, here is it, presented as a prequel.
[ A Little Bit of Crème Puffitude ]
by kHo
“You know, you won. I mean, you know that right? I ask because, most people that win things they’ve been working really hard on? They smile when they’ve won them.”
Josh looked over and smiled slightly. “Hey Danny.”
Dan smiled at him. “Well, there’s the hint of a smile. Not quite the Look At The Fulbright Scholar Letter I Got Taped To My Head kind of smile I was looking for but, I guess it’ll do.”
Josh’s smile widened just a little bit. “It’s a hectic night, Danny.”
“That’s okay,” he said, stepping side by side with Josh and peering across the room. “I think I can guess what this is about.”
Josh sighed, looking away. “It’s not about anything. It’s just a hectic night. I’m tired.”
Danny smirked. “So it’s not about the fact that there’s literally a force field of tension extending from you to Donna?”
Josh swiveled his head so fast the muscles twitched. “What?”
Danny’s smile widened. “Come on man. It’s me here.”
Josh frowned, looking across the room at Donna. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, okay, I’ll explain it,” Danny said, stepping closer to Josh and lowering his voice. “See you and Donna? That gorgeous blonde over there? You and she used to be pretty close.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Danny--”
“And I used to think, God, to have what they have. That closeness. That fierce loyalty.” He looked at Josh, raising an eyebrow. “I used to think, if those two guys don’t get together, then I just don’t know what love is.”
Josh sighed, hugging his arms to h is chest. “Is this supposed to cheer me up?”
“I’m not trying to cheer you up, I’m trying to kick your ass into gear, because nobody seems to be doing that,” Danny said, grinning at him. “But then again, that was usually Donna’s job, wasn’t it?”
Josh let out another heavy sigh, flicking his eyes to Danny. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay,” Danny said, grinning and nodding.
“You don’t,” Josh said, turning to face him. “She won’t talk to me.”
Danny laughed, rolling his eyes. “So you talk to her.”
“She left me.”
Danny nodded. “I know.”
“She left me, Danny,” Josh said, looking back over at her as she talked to Will and CJ. “Every time she looks at me I can feel her hatred.”
“Oh, Josh,” Danny said, his tone admonishing. “It’s not hate.”
“Yes it is, Danny,” Josh said, looking at him. “She hates me.”
“Fine.”
Josh let out a puff of air. “What?”
“What, what?”
Josh laughed, shaking his head. “You obviously want to say something.”
“Look, I’m just saying, it’s not hate,” Danny said, looking over at Donna and stepping closer to him. “She knows exactly where you are right now. She knows exactly where in the room you are, right now, as we speak. And do you know how I know that? She won’t look at you.”
Josh nodded. “Yes. Because she hates me.”
“No, Josh,” Danny said, frowning at him. “Because it hurts too much!”
Josh shook his head. “What do you know about it anyway, Danny? You’ve been gone too long.”
“How long have we known each other, Josh,” Danny asked, cocking his head to the side.
“I don’t know,” Josh said with a shrug. “Eight, nine years?”
“And you think that just because I’ve been gone for a year I’ve forgotten how you operate,” Danny asked, quirking his eyebrows up. “I know, you know. I know you went to Germany.”
Josh closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them he stared down at the floor. “So?”
“So… what next? What did you do next?”
Josh shrugged. “What do you mean what did I do next?”
“Did you tell her you love her? Did you bring her roses? Did you ask her out for dinner? Did you yank her over to the nearest hard surface and--”
Josh rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t Danny!”
“Why the hell not,” Danny asked, spreading his arms out. “Are you that weak? Could you physically not drag her?”
Josh shook his head. “She worked for me.”
Danny sighed. “What, because the papers would get wind of it? Is that why?”
Josh looked at him. “Yeah.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “The press has thought the two of you were an item since day one. I tell you, Josh, honestly? They wouldn’t have known the difference.”
“And what about how entirely inappropriate it would have been,” Josh asked, lowering his voice even more.
“So you transfer her, Josh!” Danny shakes his head. “You’re gonna let work get in the way of what you have with her?”
Josh sighed, looking away. “Had.”
Danny rolled his eyes. “Josh, I’m surprised at you.”
Josh looked at him. “Why?”
“I’ve never known you to give up so easily. A bill’s gonna pass you don’t like, you’ll stop at nothing to leave it dead in the water. Some votes you need to get? You’ll strip naked and dance in the reflection pool before you give up on getting them. My God, you got Lang in the Supreme Court, you and Toby.”
Josh frowned. “What’s your point?”
Danny rolled his eyes. “My point, Josh, is that you’re a bit of a crème puff, aren’t you?”
Josh laughed. “What?”
“Josh! You’ll bring the romance for politics, but not for Donna?!”
Josh darted his eyes to the side, watching to see if anyone had over heard. “It’s different.”
Danny shook his head. “It’s not.” He paused, thinking. “You know what? You’re right. It is different. This is more important.”
Josh sighed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve watched you be with woman after woman that I couldn’t stand, Josh. Mandy, Amy, whoever else. And it’s not that these women aren’t good women. They are. They’re just not right for you.”
Josh laughed. “What are you, my father?”
Danny shook his head. “I’m your friend.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“You make a move, Josh. You make a gesture.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “You have no idea how hard it’s been for me,” he said, looking at him. “Sitting there, knowing I can’t have her. Knowing it’s impossible. You have no idea.”
Danny snorted. “Yeah.”
“You don’t.”
“I don’t,” Danny asked, raising his eyebrows. “I have no idea what it’s like to want a woman I can’t have? I have no idea what it’s like to be in love with a woman who’s job prevents us from having a chance?” He smiles at Josh, cocking his head to the side. “Really?”
Josh smiles, looking down. “Yeah, okay. So maybe you do.”
“But I never stopped trying,” Danny said. “You have to make an effort, Josh. You can’t just go to Germany and think that’s enough.”
“Why are you doing this,” Josh asked, frowning in confusion.
“Doing what?”
“Trying to psyche me up about Donna,” Josh answered.
Danny smiled. “Cause I’m Team Josh.”
Josh laughed. “It’s my understanding that teams have more than one person on them.”
“It’s an underground kind of thing,” Danny said, his grin widening. “I’m the elected spokesperson.”
Josh shook his head. “You’re insane.”
“Because you told me she liked Goldfish,” Danny said, his tone turning serious again. “Because you tried to help me out, and yeah, it didn’t work, but our situation is different. She’s actually got a legitimate beef here. I am the enemy.”
“No you’re not. You’re one of the good guys.”
Danny smiled. “I know. But I’m still the enemy. And now she’s Chief of Staff, so… it’s even more impossible.”
Josh sighed. “Sorry, Danny.”
Danny shrugged. “I can wait. I haven’t given up, I am not discouraged.”
Josh laughed. “Better man than I.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, grinning. “But now I’m on your side, so we’ll make you just as good of a man as me.”
Josh shook his head. “It’s too late,” he said, staring once again at Donna as she walked out of the double doors. “I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s a chance.”
“But you don’t know that, Josh,” Danny said. “You gotta stick your neck out there a little. Test the waters, as it were.”
Josh looked at him, his face slightly stricken. “How?”
Danny’s smile softened and he stepped forward, putting a hand on Josh’s arm. “You know what you gotta do? You gotta do it old school.”
Josh laughed. “Meaning?”
“Old school,” Danny repeated, grinning. “Like the Inauguration, Josh. Snowballs at her windows, neighbors yelling at you to shut the fuck up. You know… that Cary Grant stuff. Howling at the moon.”
Josh cringed. “Yeah?”
Danny nodded. “Pull out the stops, Josh. It’s go time.”
Josh took a deep breath, straightening and looking at Danny. “I have to get drunk first.”
Danny laughed. “Okay. But not too drunk.”
Halfway to the bar Josh stopped, turning to Danny. “What if I can’t?”
“You can.”
Josh shook his head. “No. But what if I can’t?”
Danny grinned. “I have faith in you Josh.”
Josh sighed, starting towards the bar again. “I don’t.”
“That’s what you’ve got me for.”
Josh smiled at him as he ordered a beer. “I’ve missed you, Danny. You’ve been gone too long.”
“Yeah,” Danny said, nodding. “I have.”
“You have to come with me.”
Danny frowned. “I’m sorry?”
Josh nodded. “You have to come with me.”
“Where?”
“To tell Donna,” Josh said. “You have to come with me.”
Danny backed up, waving his hands in protest. “Oh no. I’m not coming with you.”
“You have to,” Josh said, advancing on him. “Moral support, Danny! The brotherhood!”
Danny laughed. “You need me to come with you for you to tell Donna you love her?”
Josh nodded vehemently. “I do.”
Danny shook his head, sitting down in a chair and watching Josh sit next to him. “You really are, you know?”
“I really are what,” Josh asked, grinning.
“A crème puff,” Danny said, laughing. “You really are.”
Addendum: I gotta give props to Sorkin, who inspired the line about being a creme puff. In Sports Night, he had Danny and Casey call Isaac a Cheese Danish after his stroke... I didn't use it verbatim, but it's what inspired it. And hey, anyway, they're both Sorkin-verses right?