"take back the beat in your heart"
I wish once in a while i could make a positive post with good news or just something exciting to say.
but for now its still these 2 am post about the things that hurt.
this morning i attempted to (and for the most part did) have a deep talk with jack paddison about family life and relationships. it of course was interupted by my brother who came in ( Read more... )
but for now its still these 2 am post about the things that hurt.
this morning i attempted to (and for the most part did) have a deep talk with jack paddison about family life and relationships. it of course was interupted by my brother who came in ( Read more... )
i called mom a bitch in front of our friends? what about you calling me a jackass and "fucking stupid" in front of everyone, or you throwing a pizza cutter and storming out of the house because i called you out on being in a bad mood all night? that makes YOU look terrible
and mom DEFINETLY did NOT buy any of the food we ate, thank you very much. I gave my last 25 dollars to lindsay to buy food for everyone.
We are beyond fixing kenneth. why is it so hard for you to just say you dont agree with me, butwe'll find a way to work on our shit. we're family kenneth? youve hurt me so bad and all you can do is keeping yelling at me and insulting me. why dont you even want to fix us kenneth? why are you trying to turn this around on me and say that im blaming you for my own problems. you ARE the problem of mine, the only thing upsetting me is the way YOU treat me. how is your behaviour my fault?
i just dont understand why its so hard for you to swollow your pride and work on us.
Reply
People post things on livejournal because they want others to see them. So you wanted everyone that reads LJ to see what a terrible person I suposedly am. And why? So you feel better? So you feel justified in your crusade against me? To provoke a response that makes you look more and more like the victim?
Same thing at worship at SWUUSI. It's fucking ridiculous. You violated that space at GC 2 by calling me out. Worship is supposed to be a safe space.
What I'd love to be able to do is be the bigger person and ignore it. But how? I don't have a room in our own home, yet you invade the spaces I do have. You call me out every chance you get, you air my past to your friends that don't need to know anything (see McCullough), and you will do anything possible to make yourself like a harmless victim in your home, even as you treat your whole family terribly. And, since you know me so well, you've started doing things that you know will set me off to further your cause. How do I ignore that?
Beyond that, even,you talked with your friends about how you and dad are tight now. What that means for you is that you can run over him and get whatever you want. So you go to him instead of mom, because he's decided...well.
How can you say that we're beyond fixing and then ask me to "swollow" my pride and work on us in the same section?
Yeah, a lot of incentive for me.
Reply
Leave a comment