Sep 13, 2010 00:10
sunday night update, ready set go !
school. is. too. difficult. and HONESTLY NOT FOR EVERYONE!
It feels like societys so quick to insult those who don't get a higher education and it is an insult when someone says "do you want to work at mcdonalds for the rest of your life"?
stuff like that hurts me. i dont think its okay to look down on anyone for working the jobs that are lower paying and dont require much education. if all you ever do is the best you can, then youve made it.
i mean.. there HAS to be someone to work at mcdonalds in the first place right? we cannot all be doctors lawyers and teachers.. heck those doctors lawyers and teachers are eating at mcdonalds too && someones gotta make that coffee, cook those pancakes and open up that store in the first place.
Those people serve purpose and are important too.. :[
i feel like my life is coming together soo well and yet im hanging on to school by a thread. i hate it and it is not for me! i cannot dig deep enough into any part of my being && find any sort of motivation at all to try, pay attention in class, do homework, study or sometimes even go to class.
its been 2 years.. im just now a sophomore, i dont have a major or any idea what i want to do for a career. ( okay i do know but i dont want to talk about it). its taking forever and i feel like im getting nowhere and ive still got soo much to go.
Ive always had jobs && worked and now i work part time at sonic, its the most difficult job ive ever had. fast foods soo underrated on a level of difficulty. people talk so much shit like "god get my order right your jobs not that hard" but im telling you it is so difficult.
There is always so much going on and when i finally get off work at the end of the day i feel amazing.
my body is dead tired && hurting and i love it. I feel accomplished and important and the nights where i make $50 bucks in tips are really, really nice.
my parents want so badly for me to finish my education. this is for them, and my grandmother. nothing has changed in terms of me wanting to be in school. They raised me for 18 years and are still paying my bills and loving and supporting me. it would hurt them alot if i didnt finish.
but if i want to leave, start working and supporting myself isnt that supposed to be ok?
im 20 years old. and i WANT to be off mommy and daddys meal ticket.
im a big girl, i want to earn my own and im just not sure how much longer i want to keep devoting all my time to something that isnt even for me.. i love you mom and dad but i hope i can show it in some other way than school..
im just saying its been almost three years and i stil dont want this for myself..