Polygamy and the Wisdom Behind the Prophet's Plural Marriages
Polygamy or plural marriage of men (polygyny) in Islam is limited only to a maximum of four with a condition that husbands are able to treat their wives with justice. Otherwise, the rule in Islam is monogamy.
“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, marry (other) women of your choice, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess (captives and the slaves). That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.” (Qur'an 4:3)
Polygamy solves adultery among men, who by nature are polygamous, or are not happy with their wives from committing adulteries. It prevents the prevalence of AIDS and other similar diseases arising from illicit sexual relations among people of loose morals. It minimizes divorce as men are given the option to marry other women of their choice without divorcing their present wives. This subsequently, avoids the occurrence of juvenile delinquencies among children of broken families. Furthermore, polygamy gives opportunity for more unmarried women to be married, considering the fact that women exceed men in number. This in turn eliminates fornication and prostitution, thus greatly reducing the number of children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, children born out of wedlock are being ostracized in the same way as their mothers are being looked down by the society. In polygamy, children are recognized as legal offspring of their fathers just as their mothers are respected as legally married women.
In line with polygamy, most enemies of Islam center their biased criticisms on the Prophet’s plural marriages, which exceeded more than four as allowed in the Qur’an. They branded the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as a “sexually obsessed man” for marrying more than four. We have to correct such distorted notion about the Prophet (s.a.w.s.). We should make it clear to the non-Muslims that Allah (S.W.T.) commands us to follow the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as he is the best example to the whole mankind (33:21). Islam as the perfect religion is both rational and practical. The Prophet’s plural marriages is an exception to the Qur’anic injunction (i.e., 33:21) to show all possible types of marriage in Islam. If he was a “sexually obsessed man” he would have married more in his early manhood, not after he had passed the age of fifty. The fact that he married Khadijah bint Khuwailid and lived a monogamous life (for twenty-seven years) till she died, showed that he (s.a.w.s.) was not a “sexually obsessed man”. But his marriage to Khadijah shows only limited types of marriage that are allowed in Islam. That is, it is permissible for a man to marry a woman who is older than him, for a poor and orphaned man to marry a wealthy woman, for an employee to marry his employer, and for a bachelor man to a marry a widow. If Allah (S.W.T.) did not allow the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) to marry other women, how could marriage in Islam be open to all other types of marriages? Had the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) not married other women, Muslims who follow the Sunnah would find it difficult to enter into marriage with the limited examples from the Prophet’s marriage to Khadijah. The Prophet’s plural marriages after his monogamous marriage with Khadijah for so many years show that in Islam it is allowed for a man to marry a virgin woman, who is very much younger than him, as in the case of ‘Aishah bint Abi Bakr. A man can choose to marry young and intelligent woman like Aishah. He can marry his friends’ daughters, in the same way as the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) married Aishah and Hafsah, the daughters of his closest friends: Abi Bakar and Umar (r.a.) in order to foster ties of relationships. Or he can marry his enemies’ daughters as the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) married: Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith, the daughter of Al Harith -the head of Bani Al-Mustaliq of Khuza’ah- and Umm Habibah or Ramlah , the daughter of Abu Sufyan. Note that both Al-Harith and Abu Sufyan were bitter enemies of Islam. The Prophet’s marriages to their daughters show how Islam goes for peace and reconciliation. Knowing that Juwairiah and Ramlah are both from ruling families, man’s marriage to women of high social status is therefore allowed. Likewise, it is allowed for a man to marry women of low social class as in the case of Maria, who was given to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as a present by the ruler of Egypt. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) elevated her status by marrying her, instead of making her his slave. His marriages to his captives: Juwairiyah Bint Al-Haritha and Saffiyah Bint Huyay bin Akhtab, not only show how Islam tolerates mix marriages based on social status; but also shows the high regard given to women. Instead of making them slaves, being his captives, he married them and gave them the highest status of women being among the “Mothers of the Believers”. It further shows how the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) freed women from the bondage of slavery. Aside from inter social and cultural marriages, the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also demonstrated that Islam permits inter religious marriage with the People of the Book by marrying Safiyyah bint Huyay bin Akhtab, a Jew and Maria, a Christian from Egypt. Both of them embraced Islam and became among the “Mothers of the Believers”.
With his marriage to Sawda Bint Zam’a, a widower can opt to marry middle-aged, widow, jolly, and kind women like Sawda who can take care of his children. The Prophet’s marriages to Hafsah Bint Umar (r.a.) bin Al-Khattab, Zainab bint Khuzaimah and Umm Salamah Hind bint Abi Omaiyah, all widows, show that men should show sympathy and care for widows by marrying them. Had he not married Umm Salamah, a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. He showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children. The Prophet’s marriage to his cousin, Zainab bint Jahsh, who was divorced by his adopted son, Zaid, shows that in Islam, it is lawful for men to marry his first degree cousin. It is also lawful for a man to marry a woman, divorced by his adopted son. In addition, Islam allows the practice of betrothal before entering into marriage as what the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) did prior to his marriage to ‘Aishah (r.a.) . It also permits marriage in absentia as in the case of his marriage to Umm Habibah or Ramlah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan, who was in Abysinnia. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked the King of Negus for Umm Habibah’s hand for marriage, which the King granted. Islam also allows a case where a man marries a woman who presents herself for marriage as in the case of Maymunah. Maymunah voluntarily presented herself to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and became one of his wives.
Non-Muslims should know that Allah (S.W.T.) permitted all Prophet’s plural marriages. Allah (S.W.T.) only allows plural marriages to His Messenger (s.a.w.s.) and not for the Believers at large. The plural marriages of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) are for the guidance of the Believers. They serve as guides on the dos and don'ts of marriages in Islam. All the types of marriages that we derive from the Prophet’s plural marriages are based on the following Qur’anic injunctions:
“This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the people of the Book (the Jews and the Christians) is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness. Taking them as lovers. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)." (Qur'an 5:5)
"And (remember) when you (O Muhammad) did say to him (Zaid bin Haritha -- the freed slave of the Prophet) on whom by guiding him to Islam, and you (too) have done favor (by manumitting him) “Retain (in wedlock) your wife and fear Allah.” But you did hide in your heart that which Allah was about to make manifest (that He will give her to you in marriage). You did fear the people but it is more fitting that you should fear Allah. Then, when Zaid had dissolved (his marriage) with her, with the necessary (formality) (he divorced her). We joined her in marriage to you; in order that (in the future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them (they have divorced them). And Allah's command must be fulfilled." (Qur'an 33:37)
"O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you: your wives to whom you have paid their dowers; and those whom your right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to you; and daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts and daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts who migrated (from Makkah) with you; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her. This is only for you and not for the Believers (at large). We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess in order that there should be no difficulty for you. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'an 33:50)
All the conditions of types of marriages as demonstrated by the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) show that Islam is indeed, complete, rational, and practical. In short, it is the perfect religion for the whole mankind.
By Dr. Norlain Dindang Mababaya
From her article Some Misconceptions on Islam
http://www.wefound.org
“If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, marry (other) women of your choice, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess (captives and the slaves). That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.” (Qur'an 4:3)
Polygamy solves adultery among men, who by nature are polygamous, or are not happy with their wives from committing adulteries. It prevents the prevalence of AIDS and other similar diseases arising from illicit sexual relations among people of loose morals. It minimizes divorce as men are given the option to marry other women of their choice without divorcing their present wives. This subsequently, avoids the occurrence of juvenile delinquencies among children of broken families. Furthermore, polygamy gives opportunity for more unmarried women to be married, considering the fact that women exceed men in number. This in turn eliminates fornication and prostitution, thus greatly reducing the number of children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, children born out of wedlock are being ostracized in the same way as their mothers are being looked down by the society. In polygamy, children are recognized as legal offspring of their fathers just as their mothers are respected as legally married women.
In line with polygamy, most enemies of Islam center their biased criticisms on the Prophet’s plural marriages, which exceeded more than four as allowed in the Qur’an. They branded the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as a “sexually obsessed man” for marrying more than four. We have to correct such distorted notion about the Prophet (s.a.w.s.). We should make it clear to the non-Muslims that Allah (S.W.T.) commands us to follow the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as he is the best example to the whole mankind (33:21). Islam as the perfect religion is both rational and practical. The Prophet’s plural marriages is an exception to the Qur’anic injunction (i.e., 33:21) to show all possible types of marriage in Islam. If he was a “sexually obsessed man” he would have married more in his early manhood, not after he had passed the age of fifty. The fact that he married Khadijah bint Khuwailid and lived a monogamous life (for twenty-seven years) till she died, showed that he (s.a.w.s.) was not a “sexually obsessed man”. But his marriage to Khadijah shows only limited types of marriage that are allowed in Islam. That is, it is permissible for a man to marry a woman who is older than him, for a poor and orphaned man to marry a wealthy woman, for an employee to marry his employer, and for a bachelor man to a marry a widow. If Allah (S.W.T.) did not allow the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) to marry other women, how could marriage in Islam be open to all other types of marriages? Had the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) not married other women, Muslims who follow the Sunnah would find it difficult to enter into marriage with the limited examples from the Prophet’s marriage to Khadijah. The Prophet’s plural marriages after his monogamous marriage with Khadijah for so many years show that in Islam it is allowed for a man to marry a virgin woman, who is very much younger than him, as in the case of ‘Aishah bint Abi Bakr. A man can choose to marry young and intelligent woman like Aishah. He can marry his friends’ daughters, in the same way as the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) married Aishah and Hafsah, the daughters of his closest friends: Abi Bakar and Umar (r.a.) in order to foster ties of relationships. Or he can marry his enemies’ daughters as the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) married: Juwairiyah bint Al-Harith, the daughter of Al Harith -the head of Bani Al-Mustaliq of Khuza’ah- and Umm Habibah or Ramlah , the daughter of Abu Sufyan. Note that both Al-Harith and Abu Sufyan were bitter enemies of Islam. The Prophet’s marriages to their daughters show how Islam goes for peace and reconciliation. Knowing that Juwairiah and Ramlah are both from ruling families, man’s marriage to women of high social status is therefore allowed. Likewise, it is allowed for a man to marry women of low social class as in the case of Maria, who was given to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) as a present by the ruler of Egypt. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) elevated her status by marrying her, instead of making her his slave. His marriages to his captives: Juwairiyah Bint Al-Haritha and Saffiyah Bint Huyay bin Akhtab, not only show how Islam tolerates mix marriages based on social status; but also shows the high regard given to women. Instead of making them slaves, being his captives, he married them and gave them the highest status of women being among the “Mothers of the Believers”. It further shows how the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) freed women from the bondage of slavery. Aside from inter social and cultural marriages, the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) also demonstrated that Islam permits inter religious marriage with the People of the Book by marrying Safiyyah bint Huyay bin Akhtab, a Jew and Maria, a Christian from Egypt. Both of them embraced Islam and became among the “Mothers of the Believers”.
With his marriage to Sawda Bint Zam’a, a widower can opt to marry middle-aged, widow, jolly, and kind women like Sawda who can take care of his children. The Prophet’s marriages to Hafsah Bint Umar (r.a.) bin Al-Khattab, Zainab bint Khuzaimah and Umm Salamah Hind bint Abi Omaiyah, all widows, show that men should show sympathy and care for widows by marrying them. Had he not married Umm Salamah, a widow with many children, he would not have demonstrated his virtuous teachings on the care of the orphans. He showed kindness to them, treated them just like his real children. The Prophet’s marriage to his cousin, Zainab bint Jahsh, who was divorced by his adopted son, Zaid, shows that in Islam, it is lawful for men to marry his first degree cousin. It is also lawful for a man to marry a woman, divorced by his adopted son. In addition, Islam allows the practice of betrothal before entering into marriage as what the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) did prior to his marriage to ‘Aishah (r.a.) . It also permits marriage in absentia as in the case of his marriage to Umm Habibah or Ramlah, the daughter of Abu Sufyan, who was in Abysinnia. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) asked the King of Negus for Umm Habibah’s hand for marriage, which the King granted. Islam also allows a case where a man marries a woman who presents herself for marriage as in the case of Maymunah. Maymunah voluntarily presented herself to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and became one of his wives.
Non-Muslims should know that Allah (S.W.T.) permitted all Prophet’s plural marriages. Allah (S.W.T.) only allows plural marriages to His Messenger (s.a.w.s.) and not for the Believers at large. The plural marriages of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) are for the guidance of the Believers. They serve as guides on the dos and don'ts of marriages in Islam. All the types of marriages that we derive from the Prophet’s plural marriages are based on the following Qur’anic injunctions:
“This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the people of the Book (the Jews and the Christians) is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, when you give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness. Taking them as lovers. If any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good)." (Qur'an 5:5)
"And (remember) when you (O Muhammad) did say to him (Zaid bin Haritha -- the freed slave of the Prophet) on whom by guiding him to Islam, and you (too) have done favor (by manumitting him) “Retain (in wedlock) your wife and fear Allah.” But you did hide in your heart that which Allah was about to make manifest (that He will give her to you in marriage). You did fear the people but it is more fitting that you should fear Allah. Then, when Zaid had dissolved (his marriage) with her, with the necessary (formality) (he divorced her). We joined her in marriage to you; in order that (in the future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them (they have divorced them). And Allah's command must be fulfilled." (Qur'an 33:37)
"O Prophet (Muhammad)! Verily, We have made lawful to you: your wives to whom you have paid their dowers; and those whom your right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to you; and daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts and daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts who migrated (from Makkah) with you; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her. This is only for you and not for the Believers (at large). We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess in order that there should be no difficulty for you. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'an 33:50)
All the conditions of types of marriages as demonstrated by the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) show that Islam is indeed, complete, rational, and practical. In short, it is the perfect religion for the whole mankind.
By Dr. Norlain Dindang Mababaya
From her article Some Misconceptions on Islam
http://www.wefound.org