(no subject)
So many things wrong in just the SUMMARY ALONE.
Thomas, a boy from Twilight Town, has been chosen to have a Keyblade. Olette, a girl from Twilight Town, has been chosen to have a Keystaff. Soon problems arise as Sora, the first Keyberer, has gone missing. With Donald and Goofy by thier side, can Thomas
(1) Why do you need an OC? I think Hayner or Pence could be awesome Keyblade Wielders. Does your OC inevitably fall in love with Olette? (P.S.: Yes, yes he does. FIRST CHAPTER LOLZ.) Thomas, apparently, already knows and hangs out with Pence, Olette, and Hayner. We have no introduction to him, and he's almost kinda pointless. (As in, really pointless.)
(2) Keystaff? What? Why can't Olette have a Keyblade, too? Hell, give Sora's mom a Keyblade! EVERYONE IS DOIN' IT.
(3) What's a Keyberer?
(4) Your summary got cut off by FF.net's limited characters, lol. :D
Thomas, a boy from Twilight Town, has been chosen to have a Keyblade. Olette, a girl from Twilight Town, has been chosen to have a Keystaff. Soon problems arise as Sora, the first Keyberer, has gone missing. With Donald and Goofy by thier side, can Thomas
(1) Why do you need an OC? I think Hayner or Pence could be awesome Keyblade Wielders. Does your OC inevitably fall in love with Olette? (P.S.: Yes, yes he does. FIRST CHAPTER LOLZ.) Thomas, apparently, already knows and hangs out with Pence, Olette, and Hayner. We have no introduction to him, and he's almost kinda pointless. (As in, really pointless.)
(2) Keystaff? What? Why can't Olette have a Keyblade, too? Hell, give Sora's mom a Keyblade! EVERYONE IS DOIN' IT.
(3) What's a Keyberer?
(4) Your summary got cut off by FF.net's limited characters, lol. :D