Money, Lighting and ADD
There is absolutely nothing to do here at work right now. Yesterday I was called into work cause they were crazy busy and a girl is on her honeymoon right now, so they really needed the extra help. I was here for 6 1/2 hours and I was busy the whole time. I actually had fun too - I was doing relatively new things and had something to do the whole time, something other than just moving files around. I think, while considering specialties in medecine, that I need to look for something that will allow me to keep learning, to keep doing something new all the time. I don't want to be stagnant. I don't want to be in a rut at work. I've realized that's when I really begin hating my job - when I've learned all that I can and I'm in a routine. When I worked at Petsmart there was always stuff to do, and even when there wasn't I was able to go over to a different deparment and learn something about what they do. At Costco there was even more to do, but I was locked in, so I got bored very quickly, and when I was passed up for advancement I couldn't stay.
I think part of this has to do with my mental capacities. It was mentioned fairly often when I was younger that I might have ADD. The key symptoms of ADD are hyperactivty and an inability to focus. Well, I was definitely hyperactive, but I could always focus, at least on something that I found interesting. I was always bored in class though. I became the second best in the school at tetherball very quickly because I had fairly good hand-eye coordination, and there was always something new about it. Everybody played a little differently. I was passed up for GATE the first time cause the teacher didn’t like me. Thing is, she didn’t like me cause I was too bored in class! She gave others advanced math books cause they were finishing their packets - but I was finishing my packets that fast too, and I was bored. The cause of the symptoms associated with ADD and ADHD is essentially under stimulation. The brain needs more stimulation, and so the person’s brain compensates to give it. Often this manifests as being hyperactive or fidgety, and the inability to focus. It’s all because the person’s brain can handle more than it’s being given.
Anyway, the whole point of this is that I need more, I need more knowledge and more excitement and more things to learn and do. My brain can handle more than it’s being given. I can’t be stuck doing the same thing over and over. Once I’ve learned how to do a job satisfactorily I want to move on. Usually, once I learn the job, I can do it better than most of the other around me. Not because I’m amazing or good, but because my brain is wired to work efficiently. I always look for a better way to do the job I’ve been assigned. One of the things I hate most is not being able to fix that - knowing that there is a better, more efficient way to do something, but not having the authority or power to implement it! It is so frustrating. I often have more fun searching for the solution than I do implementing it. I love to look at a situation, know that it isn’t working as well as it should, and come up with a better way to do it. It is exhilarating to achieve victory like that!
But where can I do that? What field can I solve problems like that? And without being stuck inside at a little desk, behind a tiny computer screen, with insane amounts of fluorescent lighting overhead? I HATE artificial light! In fact, I hate it so much that I want to work with an architect to design my home in the style of certain ancient cultures - so that natural sunlight can be filtered throughout my house at all hours of the day and night. And so that the brightness can be adapted to each individual as needed. I recognize that most people either require or desire more light than I do, so I will have to have the option of having it very bright, but I want to do so with the light of the sun. All while keeping the house comfortably ventilated with outside air whenever possible. Creating a ventilation system that naturally aspirates the house - where the air flows continually in and out. There will of course need to be cooling and heating mechanisms to affect the incoming air, and possibly to affect each individual room as requested by the occupant.
I also have tons of hobbies and extra curricular activities I want to do. I want to do long range target shooting. The initial investment for that is at least $2000 though. I am going to start saving for it now. I also will need to find a place where I can do that. I will need a 2000 yard range where I can set up targets anywhere from 600 to 2000 yard depending on my mood. That’s 6000 feet, or more than a mile! Where am I going to find a piece of property that’s relatively close to civilization that has a side that’s over a mile long? Two miles would be ideal so that I can have a safe distance behind the target before anything else shows up. I also really want to get a motorcycle. I should be able to do the class soon, it’s only $250, so I will be getting my license soon. It will be some time before I can afford a motorcycle though. I’ll need to start saving for that too. And then there’s learning to play the bass guitar. That’s an initially investment of at least $200, and then I will need to set aside time to teach myself. Or possible money and time to take lessons. Oh, and I want my brother-in-law to teach me how to skateboard.
Most of all though I need time. I want to spend a lot of time with Briana, going on a road trip where we just drive and stop at whatever catches our interest. Where we can go camping if we feel like it. Or stay at a hotel if we want to shower. And just go and have fun. The idea of being free from everything is very appealing. Not having a schedule, not having a plan, not having a destination. Just driving, free of responsibilities, free of everything, at least for a time. Just me and her, free and happy and in love. Well, I am at least going to search long and hard for a section of time where her and I can do that. That is the most important to me. I can live with putting off some of those other activities for now. But not really - I will be saving for them, if slowly. Maybe I’ll set aside $20 a month. Or $50 a month. Whatever I can afford. Or maybe I’ll do $20 and put more into my credit card to pay it off. Then into my car to pay it off faster. Then I can put those payments, a total of $300 a month right now, into savings! That would be great! I’m definitely going to pour as much money as possible into those to get rid of the debt. Of course I also need to be saving for engagement and wedding rings and a down payment on a house. Grrr. Well, one day I’ll be able to get it all done. But for now, back to work. To earn that money to save.
I think part of this has to do with my mental capacities. It was mentioned fairly often when I was younger that I might have ADD. The key symptoms of ADD are hyperactivty and an inability to focus. Well, I was definitely hyperactive, but I could always focus, at least on something that I found interesting. I was always bored in class though. I became the second best in the school at tetherball very quickly because I had fairly good hand-eye coordination, and there was always something new about it. Everybody played a little differently. I was passed up for GATE the first time cause the teacher didn’t like me. Thing is, she didn’t like me cause I was too bored in class! She gave others advanced math books cause they were finishing their packets - but I was finishing my packets that fast too, and I was bored. The cause of the symptoms associated with ADD and ADHD is essentially under stimulation. The brain needs more stimulation, and so the person’s brain compensates to give it. Often this manifests as being hyperactive or fidgety, and the inability to focus. It’s all because the person’s brain can handle more than it’s being given.
Anyway, the whole point of this is that I need more, I need more knowledge and more excitement and more things to learn and do. My brain can handle more than it’s being given. I can’t be stuck doing the same thing over and over. Once I’ve learned how to do a job satisfactorily I want to move on. Usually, once I learn the job, I can do it better than most of the other around me. Not because I’m amazing or good, but because my brain is wired to work efficiently. I always look for a better way to do the job I’ve been assigned. One of the things I hate most is not being able to fix that - knowing that there is a better, more efficient way to do something, but not having the authority or power to implement it! It is so frustrating. I often have more fun searching for the solution than I do implementing it. I love to look at a situation, know that it isn’t working as well as it should, and come up with a better way to do it. It is exhilarating to achieve victory like that!
But where can I do that? What field can I solve problems like that? And without being stuck inside at a little desk, behind a tiny computer screen, with insane amounts of fluorescent lighting overhead? I HATE artificial light! In fact, I hate it so much that I want to work with an architect to design my home in the style of certain ancient cultures - so that natural sunlight can be filtered throughout my house at all hours of the day and night. And so that the brightness can be adapted to each individual as needed. I recognize that most people either require or desire more light than I do, so I will have to have the option of having it very bright, but I want to do so with the light of the sun. All while keeping the house comfortably ventilated with outside air whenever possible. Creating a ventilation system that naturally aspirates the house - where the air flows continually in and out. There will of course need to be cooling and heating mechanisms to affect the incoming air, and possibly to affect each individual room as requested by the occupant.
I also have tons of hobbies and extra curricular activities I want to do. I want to do long range target shooting. The initial investment for that is at least $2000 though. I am going to start saving for it now. I also will need to find a place where I can do that. I will need a 2000 yard range where I can set up targets anywhere from 600 to 2000 yard depending on my mood. That’s 6000 feet, or more than a mile! Where am I going to find a piece of property that’s relatively close to civilization that has a side that’s over a mile long? Two miles would be ideal so that I can have a safe distance behind the target before anything else shows up. I also really want to get a motorcycle. I should be able to do the class soon, it’s only $250, so I will be getting my license soon. It will be some time before I can afford a motorcycle though. I’ll need to start saving for that too. And then there’s learning to play the bass guitar. That’s an initially investment of at least $200, and then I will need to set aside time to teach myself. Or possible money and time to take lessons. Oh, and I want my brother-in-law to teach me how to skateboard.
Most of all though I need time. I want to spend a lot of time with Briana, going on a road trip where we just drive and stop at whatever catches our interest. Where we can go camping if we feel like it. Or stay at a hotel if we want to shower. And just go and have fun. The idea of being free from everything is very appealing. Not having a schedule, not having a plan, not having a destination. Just driving, free of responsibilities, free of everything, at least for a time. Just me and her, free and happy and in love. Well, I am at least going to search long and hard for a section of time where her and I can do that. That is the most important to me. I can live with putting off some of those other activities for now. But not really - I will be saving for them, if slowly. Maybe I’ll set aside $20 a month. Or $50 a month. Whatever I can afford. Or maybe I’ll do $20 and put more into my credit card to pay it off. Then into my car to pay it off faster. Then I can put those payments, a total of $300 a month right now, into savings! That would be great! I’m definitely going to pour as much money as possible into those to get rid of the debt. Of course I also need to be saving for engagement and wedding rings and a down payment on a house. Grrr. Well, one day I’ll be able to get it all done. But for now, back to work. To earn that money to save.