Ennui? Inertia? Fatigue? Illness?
Since Chessiecon, I've had no mental energy. I spent 2 days with a migraine that suddenly left (and hasn't even been lurking)... 3 days, it started Sunday at Chessiecon ... And when Otter decided he wanted to go out Ingressing while it was still double AP to push for L11, I was all rah rah let's go. But otherwise... I'm randomly falling asleep. I sit on the edge of the bed and see no reason to bother shifting stuff around to get onto the computer. (I've acquired some collection of crap that ends up living either on the computer chair or the bed, depending on which I'm inhabiting. It involves moving in a slightly bent over position, yes, that one, exactly, that stresses the back out unduly, and is why I haven't been able to do dishes by hand for ages.) And when I do, finally, do so, I read atlas obscura, or cruise imgur, or go back a few years in someone's blog and read forward (ursula vernon's stuff on her own website, currently). Launching wow is too irritating.
I'd be happy to play a game iwht someone. R doesn't really find it interesting, and is sick with con-crud anyway. Otter is having sitting/laying down/existing problems with his back, and the last two days his right had has suddenly started aching progressively, and he's on skype with his gaming buddies, anyway. C is on the computer with his skype/roll20/whatever friends.
This is why I used to go out Friday nights. To go be with people, to find some sparkle or interest. Even when all I'd do is sit in the Adult Club and watch other people, cause I had no one of my own to do anything with, I'd at least turn it into writing practice, decribing the activities and finding new turns of phrase.
I don't have anyone to tease me out of my house. I can't shower (well) on my own, and would be achy enough from doing so that I wouldn't really want to drive. Not that I've driven in years, from said achyness, and not knowing if I'd have a pain flare from trying and be unable to grip the steering wheel, or move adequately to safely drive home. I can't pick up my toybag, which is now a toy storage container, cause the bag had holes in it and I don't have anyone to use it with anymore and don't need to have it available.
I don't want to be sitting here alone with nothing I want to do, but going anywhere else in the house isn't going to change it. And trying to write is just going to spiral down into a chuckhole of shit, like this is doing.
Done now.
This entry was originally posted at https://khatru.dreamwidth.org/3533.html. You can comment here, or there using OpenID. There are
comments there. Hopefully this is doing the right thing.
I'd be happy to play a game iwht someone. R doesn't really find it interesting, and is sick with con-crud anyway. Otter is having sitting/laying down/existing problems with his back, and the last two days his right had has suddenly started aching progressively, and he's on skype with his gaming buddies, anyway. C is on the computer with his skype/roll20/whatever friends.
This is why I used to go out Friday nights. To go be with people, to find some sparkle or interest. Even when all I'd do is sit in the Adult Club and watch other people, cause I had no one of my own to do anything with, I'd at least turn it into writing practice, decribing the activities and finding new turns of phrase.
I don't have anyone to tease me out of my house. I can't shower (well) on my own, and would be achy enough from doing so that I wouldn't really want to drive. Not that I've driven in years, from said achyness, and not knowing if I'd have a pain flare from trying and be unable to grip the steering wheel, or move adequately to safely drive home. I can't pick up my toybag, which is now a toy storage container, cause the bag had holes in it and I don't have anyone to use it with anymore and don't need to have it available.
I don't want to be sitting here alone with nothing I want to do, but going anywhere else in the house isn't going to change it. And trying to write is just going to spiral down into a chuckhole of shit, like this is doing.
Done now.
This entry was originally posted at https://khatru.dreamwidth.org/3533.html. You can comment here, or there using OpenID. There are
comments there. Hopefully this is doing the right thing.