Here's part 6 of the Fairy Tales & Happy Endings series. And the angst begins...
Let me just say that I am ridiculously thankful that my brief bout with writer's block is over. Unfortunately, this next chapter is a doozy as far as emotional angst goes. Jeez.
Title: My Damsel (A Confession to an Adversary)
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Emma x Regina (Remma or Swan Queen, if you will)
Rating: We'll say R-ish, just to be safe
Summary: It’s three small words. Three small words that, when uttered for the first time, could either make or break this entire system they’ve managed to work out.
Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing. I am merely borrowing from ABC's (awesome) toybox, for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: This fucking hurt to write. So bad. And I apologize if it hurts you guys too, but it had to be written. You can’t have the good without the bad, and all that jazz. I promise though, I’ll make it better.
+++
Emma leans her forehead against the window of Regina’s bedroom and peers down at the yard below. The tiny streams left behind by the falling rain obstruct her vision slightly, blurring everything just a little around the edges. Emma draws in a deep, cleansing breath, lets it go slowly. She repeats the action several times and closes her eyes tight, until eventually everything around her fades out and all she can hear are the sounds of the rain falling and the gentle, even breaths of the brunette sleeping not ten feet from her.
Emma doesn’t know how long she stays this way, leaning against the window, allowing her thoughts to wander, but when she finally comes back to reality, Regina is standing behind her. The brunette rests her chin gently on Emma’s shoulder, warm breath tickling the tiny hairs at the base of Emma’s neck. Regina makes no attempts to move when she realizes that Emma is watching her carefully through the reflection in the window. Instead, her arms drift around Emma’s waist and she hugs the other woman to her. Emma’s eyes flutter closed again as she allows herself to be held in deceptively strong arms.
“Emma,” Regina whispers, her lips very close to Emma’s ear. Her fingers trace a lazy pattern across the flat plane of Emma’s exposed stomach. “You should be resting,” she says.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Emma says simply, shoulders slumping in defeat. There are so many things going on in her head right now, so many jumbled thoughts and emotions keeping her from just being able to relax.
Regina slowly turns Emma in her arms until the other woman is facing her. She cradles Emma’s face in her hands, slowly leaning forward until her lips met Emma’s in a gentle kiss. The kiss lasts only a few seconds, but it’s enough to make Emma’s head swim and set her heart racing.
“Come back to bed with me,” Regina urges softly.
“But I can’t sleep,” Emma says again, annoyed at the slight whine that creeps into her voice without her even noticing.
“Who said we have to sleep?” Regina asks, and there’s a shimmer in her dark eyes that Emma is all too familiar with. She knows well what that look means.
Emma opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again when all her words fail her. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t resist this woman. It’s simply impossible. She leans forward until her lips find Regina’s again in a passionate kiss and wraps her arms around the Regina’s slender waist, pulling her tighter against her as she deepens the kiss. Regina’s fingers tangle in blonde curls, tugging and pulling gently as her tongue seeks out Emma’s.
Somewhere between the first kiss and the bed, both Emma and Regina find themselves nearly completely devoid of clothes.
Emma finds herself being pushed roughly back onto the bed. Regina straddles Emma’s thighs, runs her hands down tight abs, delighting in the feeling of hardened muscle dancing beneath her fingertips. She leans down and captures Emma’s lips in another searing kiss. Emma groans softly when Regina bites down on her lower lip, tugging a little as she pulls back, but Emma’s not going to let Regina take over this time. In one swift and graceful movement, Emma switches their positions so that she’s on top and Regina is squirming beneath her, creating a friction that becomes almost unbearable all too quickly.
Regina bucks her hips, trying to make Emma do what she wants her to do, but Emma doesn’t take the bait. When Regina’s hands claw at Emma’s hips, Emma grabs her wrists, bringing them up and pinning them to the bed above Regina’s head. She kisses Regina, hard and fierce, and there’s so much emotion behind that simple action that it leaves both women instantly breathless.
It quickly becomes clear that Emma is working her way up to something. Regina can practically hear the gears turning in the other woman’s head as Emma sits back and studies her carefully, blue eyes shining in the low light. Emma’s still got Regina’s hands pinned, but her grip is loose enough so as not to hurt her, and when she looks at her, really looks at her, it’s as if she’s seeing Regina for the first time. It sends a surge of emotion coursing through Emma’s blood, and she takes a deep breath to steady herself, another to organize her thoughts.
It’s three small words.
Three small words that, when uttered for the first time, could either make or break this entire system they’ve managed to work out.
And Emma has made up her mind.
“Emma,” Regina rasps, struggling a little in Emma’s grasp. She bucks her hips up again, hoping to break the other woman out of her trance.
It works. To an extent. Emma leans down and kisses Regina once more, one hand releasing Regina’s wrists and trailing down until she’s caressing Regina’s cheek.
And then it happens.
“I love you,” Emma whispers against Regina’s lips, fingertips gently stroking at Regina’s face. She kisses the corner of Regina’s mouth, utters the words again, a little louder this time, strengthening her resolve.
Emma isn’t sure what reaction she expected to get from Regina, but she’s fairly certain this isn’t it. Regina pulls her hands from Emma’s grasp and shoves her back, with enough force to knock the wind from Emma’s lungs. Emma lands on the edge of the bed, looking surprised and concerned, and watches as Regina scrambles off the bed and to her feet. The look on her face sends Emma into instant panic mode.
“Regina,” Emma says, trying not to let her fear get the better of her, but she can feel it rising up within her. “What’s wrong?”
“Do not say that to me,” Regina says through clenched teeth. She’s standing at the other side of the bed, fists clenched at her sides, seething.
“What?” Emma asks, because she’s sure she’s heard Regina wrong. At least, she hopes she did.
“That you love me,” Regina says. “You don’t.”
Emma’s stomach drops. She moves off the bed and stands on wobbly legs. “Yes, I do,” she says, taking a step toward Regina. “Regina, I love you.”
“You’re lying,” Regina says, and there’s a tremble in her voice, fear and something that looks like betrayal written all over her face.
“I’m not,” Emma swears, reaching out to Regina, wanting more than anything to make her see that she’s telling the truth. If only Emma could give her superpower to Regina for a moment, and say the words again, Regina would know that she meant it.
Regina bats Emma’s hands away, taking a step back. “Don’t touch me.”
“Regina, please.”
Emma doesn’t understand where this all went so wrong. One minute, things had been perfect, and the next, Regina was shoving Emma away. Putting up the walls that had taken Emma months to finally break down. And now they were back to square one. Emma felt her heart clench painfully at the thought, her stomach turn.
“Get out,” Regina says, voice steady and even.
When Emma looks up, tears in her eyes, she knows she’s lost. Regina stares back at her, her gaze dark and cold. It’s as if she’s not even the same person.
“Regina,” Emma tries again, lip quivering as she watches Regina turn away from her.
“No,” Regina says, holding up a finger to halt Emma from saying anything else. “Get your things, Ms. Swan, and leave. I want you out of my home. Now.”
And just like that, Regina’s turning to leave the room, leaving Emma standing there, shaking and cold and feeling more alone than she has in months. Slowly, Emma forces herself to gather her clothes. She dresses in a numb state. Like she’s not really there. The lights are on, but no one’s home. She’s simply going through the motions-pulling on her jeans, her shirt, buttoning it up with trembling hands, pulling on her boots, lacing them up. She doesn’t know how she manages to even get to the front door without her legs giving out. By the time she makes it outside to her car, she feels tired and strung out.
The drive back to Mary Margaret’s passes in a haze. Emma puts on the best neutral face she possibly can, even though she knows she still looks like a mess, just in case Mary is there to greet her when she walks in the door. She’s not, and Emma feels the loneliness churning within her, spreading from her heart, out, seizing her limbs until she can barely move. She makes it to the bathroom, just barely, forces herself to shower. To scrub what’s left of Regina off of her skin. It doesn’t work, just makes her sick to her stomach instead.
She pulls on an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, climbs into bed and turns off the lamp. Then, only then, does she let herself fall apart.
Title: My Damsel (A Confession to an Adversary)
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Emma x Regina (Remma or Swan Queen, if you will)
Rating: We'll say R-ish, just to be safe
Summary: It’s three small words. Three small words that, when uttered for the first time, could either make or break this entire system they’ve managed to work out.
Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing. I am merely borrowing from ABC's (awesome) toybox, for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: This fucking hurt to write. So bad. And I apologize if it hurts you guys too, but it had to be written. You can’t have the good without the bad, and all that jazz. I promise though, I’ll make it better.
+++
Emma leans her forehead against the window of Regina’s bedroom and peers down at the yard below. The tiny streams left behind by the falling rain obstruct her vision slightly, blurring everything just a little around the edges. Emma draws in a deep, cleansing breath, lets it go slowly. She repeats the action several times and closes her eyes tight, until eventually everything around her fades out and all she can hear are the sounds of the rain falling and the gentle, even breaths of the brunette sleeping not ten feet from her.
Emma doesn’t know how long she stays this way, leaning against the window, allowing her thoughts to wander, but when she finally comes back to reality, Regina is standing behind her. The brunette rests her chin gently on Emma’s shoulder, warm breath tickling the tiny hairs at the base of Emma’s neck. Regina makes no attempts to move when she realizes that Emma is watching her carefully through the reflection in the window. Instead, her arms drift around Emma’s waist and she hugs the other woman to her. Emma’s eyes flutter closed again as she allows herself to be held in deceptively strong arms.
“Emma,” Regina whispers, her lips very close to Emma’s ear. Her fingers trace a lazy pattern across the flat plane of Emma’s exposed stomach. “You should be resting,” she says.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Emma says simply, shoulders slumping in defeat. There are so many things going on in her head right now, so many jumbled thoughts and emotions keeping her from just being able to relax.
Regina slowly turns Emma in her arms until the other woman is facing her. She cradles Emma’s face in her hands, slowly leaning forward until her lips met Emma’s in a gentle kiss. The kiss lasts only a few seconds, but it’s enough to make Emma’s head swim and set her heart racing.
“Come back to bed with me,” Regina urges softly.
“But I can’t sleep,” Emma says again, annoyed at the slight whine that creeps into her voice without her even noticing.
“Who said we have to sleep?” Regina asks, and there’s a shimmer in her dark eyes that Emma is all too familiar with. She knows well what that look means.
Emma opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again when all her words fail her. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t resist this woman. It’s simply impossible. She leans forward until her lips find Regina’s again in a passionate kiss and wraps her arms around the Regina’s slender waist, pulling her tighter against her as she deepens the kiss. Regina’s fingers tangle in blonde curls, tugging and pulling gently as her tongue seeks out Emma’s.
Somewhere between the first kiss and the bed, both Emma and Regina find themselves nearly completely devoid of clothes.
Emma finds herself being pushed roughly back onto the bed. Regina straddles Emma’s thighs, runs her hands down tight abs, delighting in the feeling of hardened muscle dancing beneath her fingertips. She leans down and captures Emma’s lips in another searing kiss. Emma groans softly when Regina bites down on her lower lip, tugging a little as she pulls back, but Emma’s not going to let Regina take over this time. In one swift and graceful movement, Emma switches their positions so that she’s on top and Regina is squirming beneath her, creating a friction that becomes almost unbearable all too quickly.
Regina bucks her hips, trying to make Emma do what she wants her to do, but Emma doesn’t take the bait. When Regina’s hands claw at Emma’s hips, Emma grabs her wrists, bringing them up and pinning them to the bed above Regina’s head. She kisses Regina, hard and fierce, and there’s so much emotion behind that simple action that it leaves both women instantly breathless.
It quickly becomes clear that Emma is working her way up to something. Regina can practically hear the gears turning in the other woman’s head as Emma sits back and studies her carefully, blue eyes shining in the low light. Emma’s still got Regina’s hands pinned, but her grip is loose enough so as not to hurt her, and when she looks at her, really looks at her, it’s as if she’s seeing Regina for the first time. It sends a surge of emotion coursing through Emma’s blood, and she takes a deep breath to steady herself, another to organize her thoughts.
It’s three small words.
Three small words that, when uttered for the first time, could either make or break this entire system they’ve managed to work out.
And Emma has made up her mind.
“Emma,” Regina rasps, struggling a little in Emma’s grasp. She bucks her hips up again, hoping to break the other woman out of her trance.
It works. To an extent. Emma leans down and kisses Regina once more, one hand releasing Regina’s wrists and trailing down until she’s caressing Regina’s cheek.
And then it happens.
“I love you,” Emma whispers against Regina’s lips, fingertips gently stroking at Regina’s face. She kisses the corner of Regina’s mouth, utters the words again, a little louder this time, strengthening her resolve.
Emma isn’t sure what reaction she expected to get from Regina, but she’s fairly certain this isn’t it. Regina pulls her hands from Emma’s grasp and shoves her back, with enough force to knock the wind from Emma’s lungs. Emma lands on the edge of the bed, looking surprised and concerned, and watches as Regina scrambles off the bed and to her feet. The look on her face sends Emma into instant panic mode.
“Regina,” Emma says, trying not to let her fear get the better of her, but she can feel it rising up within her. “What’s wrong?”
“Do not say that to me,” Regina says through clenched teeth. She’s standing at the other side of the bed, fists clenched at her sides, seething.
“What?” Emma asks, because she’s sure she’s heard Regina wrong. At least, she hopes she did.
“That you love me,” Regina says. “You don’t.”
Emma’s stomach drops. She moves off the bed and stands on wobbly legs. “Yes, I do,” she says, taking a step toward Regina. “Regina, I love you.”
“You’re lying,” Regina says, and there’s a tremble in her voice, fear and something that looks like betrayal written all over her face.
“I’m not,” Emma swears, reaching out to Regina, wanting more than anything to make her see that she’s telling the truth. If only Emma could give her superpower to Regina for a moment, and say the words again, Regina would know that she meant it.
Regina bats Emma’s hands away, taking a step back. “Don’t touch me.”
“Regina, please.”
Emma doesn’t understand where this all went so wrong. One minute, things had been perfect, and the next, Regina was shoving Emma away. Putting up the walls that had taken Emma months to finally break down. And now they were back to square one. Emma felt her heart clench painfully at the thought, her stomach turn.
“Get out,” Regina says, voice steady and even.
When Emma looks up, tears in her eyes, she knows she’s lost. Regina stares back at her, her gaze dark and cold. It’s as if she’s not even the same person.
“Regina,” Emma tries again, lip quivering as she watches Regina turn away from her.
“No,” Regina says, holding up a finger to halt Emma from saying anything else. “Get your things, Ms. Swan, and leave. I want you out of my home. Now.”
And just like that, Regina’s turning to leave the room, leaving Emma standing there, shaking and cold and feeling more alone than she has in months. Slowly, Emma forces herself to gather her clothes. She dresses in a numb state. Like she’s not really there. The lights are on, but no one’s home. She’s simply going through the motions-pulling on her jeans, her shirt, buttoning it up with trembling hands, pulling on her boots, lacing them up. She doesn’t know how she manages to even get to the front door without her legs giving out. By the time she makes it outside to her car, she feels tired and strung out.
The drive back to Mary Margaret’s passes in a haze. Emma puts on the best neutral face she possibly can, even though she knows she still looks like a mess, just in case Mary is there to greet her when she walks in the door. She’s not, and Emma feels the loneliness churning within her, spreading from her heart, out, seizing her limbs until she can barely move. She makes it to the bathroom, just barely, forces herself to shower. To scrub what’s left of Regina off of her skin. It doesn’t work, just makes her sick to her stomach instead.
She pulls on an old t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, climbs into bed and turns off the lamp. Then, only then, does she let herself fall apart.