HP Fanfic: Curriculum Reform (Harry/Draco, NC-17) For Leo_Draconis
Title: Curriculum Reform
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Beta: groolover
Rating: NC-17
Era: ‘8th year’
Word Count: ~3200
Warning(s)/Contains: sex between the boys, oral, dirty talk, bottoming from the top, a bit of jealousy (and bottom!Draco, if you're concerned with that kind of thing). Definite flangst, but mostly a whole lot of smut.
Summary: Draco wants to carry on being Harry's sex instructor forever... but has Harry had enough?
Author's Notes: This is the fourth part of the Private Lessons series, which began a year ago as a birthday gift for leo_draconis . It was meant to be a brief little pwp, but it sort of bloomed with a plot, so here we are. The series began with The Importance of Fashion Accessories and continued with both Private Lessons and Accelerated Programme.
It had been three weeks since he had started this little dalliance with Potter, and Draco knew that his time was almost up.
Potter hadn't said anything about an end to their lessons, and Draco wasn't stupid enough to do so himself. Or perhaps the problem was that Draco was actually too stupid to end them on his own. Whatever the issue, it had become apparent that Potter was increasingly irritated the longer they went on, and always, in the back of Draco's mind, was the worry that this was the last one.
They'd had another lesson the night before, and Draco had woken in his bed to find Potter at the window, his forehead pressed against the chilled glass. He could only see his roommate's back, but his posture spoke volumes. "Potter?" He whispered it, afraid to disturb the dark silence. "Something wrong?"
"No."
It was a lie, clearly, but Potter's answer was so firm and forceful that Draco knew no amount of prodding was going to get him a different answer. "Then go back to sleep. It'll be morning soon."
Potter had thrown him an indescribable look, then turned towards his own bed. He'd walked over and sat heavily on the mattress. Draco could feel the tension in the room, but before he could open his mouth to try to say something that might alleviate it, Potter had sighed and flopped down face-first, muttering something into his pillow. Eventually, his breathing evened and slowed.
Draco, however, did not sleep the rest of the night.
When Draco came in from dinner the following evening, Potter was sitting on his bed, hands clenched in his lap. He looked up as Draco closed the door behind him. "Malfoy."
Draco swallowed hard. Potter's voice was calm and even, but Draco didn't trust it. "I didn't see you at dinner."
"Wasn't hungry."
"Not even for treacle tart?"
Potter looked at him unblinkingly. "No. Not tonight. Look, I wanted to talk to you. You know these lessons you've been giving me?"
As if there was any way for Draco to forget. There had been six so far. "Of course." He tried to appear as loose and casual as possible, as if Potter's words had not just caused his breathing to restrict and his pulse to race.
"I don't think I need those any more."
Draco felt his stomach drop. "Oh?"
"Don't get me wrong. I appreciate them. You've taught me a lot - things I'd never even thought of, even. It's just..." He sighed. "I understand how seduction lessons are helpful, really, in addition to learning the techniques you taught. It's just that..."
"What, Potter? Spit it out."
"I want something else. Seduction is well and good, but I don't think that will get me what I want."
"And what is it you want?" He would not let Potter hear his voice crack. He would not.
"I want to get and keep someone." He sighed again. "Think you could teach me the basics of romance?"
Draco blinked as something loosened within his chest just a fraction, then twisted. "You want lessons in romance?"
Potter blushed furiously. "Yeah. I was sort of busy with that whole fighting-evil-wizards thing for a while. It sort of put a limit on my dating experience. Vanquishing Dark Wizards, I can do. Dating... not really."
Draco allowed himself a grin, though he felt a bit sick. If Potter was thinking about romance, wanting to attract someone and keep them, then he likely had someone in mind, or at least wanted to start the search. "I think I could help, yes."
"Good." Potter stood. "I'm going to go and visit the house-elves and see about something to eat. Thanks, Malfoy. Let me know if tomorrow night works for you. And if it doesn't, let me know when would."
"Tomorrow's fine."
With a small smile and a nod, Potter left their room, taking his Invisibility Cloak with him. When Draco was certain he was gone, he let out a shaky sigh. Could he actually do this?
~0~
Draco was waiting for Potter the next evening, standing at the window and trying not to be sick. He had come to the conclusion in the wee hours of the morning that he had three options in this matter. First, he could simply go back on his word and tell Potter he couldn't give him lessons in romance after all. Second, he could steel himself and do as agreed. Third... he could engage in a bit of sabotage. After a good deal of wrestling with himself, he stuck with the second option.
And he hated himself for it.
"Wow, Malfoy," Potter said with a low whistle, and Draco nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn't heard the door. "Looks like you've definitely thought this lesson through."
Draco turned away from the window and his breath caught a little. Potter was wearing plain black trousers and a dark blue shirt. "You dressed up."
"Yeah, well. You do that on a date, right? And I never really feel comfortable in dress robes. I thought I might as well take this seriously. So, how do I look? Can I pull it off?"
Clearing his throat, Draco nodded. "Yes. You clean up surprisingly well."
Potter closed the space between them with sure, fluid movements. "You look nice as well."
Get a fucking grip on yourself, Draco told himself harshly. You're the instructor. He's the student. That's all. "Jumped right in to compliments, I see," he said, striving for encouraging and in control. "That often gets you in the door. But this isn't about securing a first date, is it? You saved the bloody world, Potter. Few are going to turn down a date with you. Romance is more than flirting. In fact, it does overlap with seduction a good deal." He swallowed and looked Potter directly in the eye. "Seduction is about that hot, sweet, thick feeling you get down to your core. Romance is similar. Just warm and light and dizzying, and centred a bit... well, higher."
Potter snorted. "I suppose that makes sense. Teach me, then. What's the first lesson?"
"Look, Potter, I could list it in stages, but that's pointless. It's about feeling, isn't it? In seduction, you do the things that make the other person feel something for you. Romance is the same. It's touches and tone and the right words and gestures both grand and small. It's attending to the heart, as you'd attend to the body. Create a mood and sustain it. Let the other person know they're valued."
"Valued," Potter murmured, a hint of something else underneath the considering tone. "I think I can manage that."
"Then let's see it."
Potter smiled at him softly. "Right." He moved even closer, maintaining eye contact, and Draco thought that if he let himself, he could get lost in that intense look forever. He wouldn't let that happen. He had to be careful. "You really do look nice tonight," Potter whispered, reaching out to take one of Draco's hands in his. He still hadn't dropped his gaze. Draco sighed softly, and then Potter's lips brushed his cheekbone.
It hit Draco, then, that this was a supremely stupid idea. When this had been about sex, it had still been something he could delude himself about. He could pretend it was about scratching an itch, feeling a bit of physical satiation and getting his sexual needs met in a convenient way. But even kisses done in that context had nearly undone him some nights, Potter's lips lingering longer than they needed to, fingers trailing their way up hot, sweaty skin that shivered under their touch. But fuck, if Potter was going to actually put a concerted effort into this... He might just break Draco completely. He didn't think he could stand it. But what was worse was the sneaking suspicion that he simply couldn't turn away from this one last opportunity to pretend.
He let himself be led across the room by the hand, Potter kissing him slowly, leisurely, until the line of the mattress was pressed against the back of Draco's thighs. Potter reached up and pushed a bit of Draco's fringe from his forehead. "Do you have any idea what you look like right now?" he asked softly. "Fucking amazing."
Draco brushed Potter's hand away. "Easy there. No need to lay it on that thick all at once." Still, he couldn't help that warm, swelling feeling in his chest.
Potter's jaw flexed as if he'd clenched his teeth together. "If you say so. Come here, then." He climbed onto the bed and tugged so that Draco followed. "Here."
After only a moment of hesitation, Draco stood, pressed up against Potter, who was on his knees atop the mattress. He let Potter undo his robes slowly, wondering if everything was truly slowed down in pace this evening, or if it only seemed that way, his mind's perception of this exquisite torture altered and dragged out. Potter teased him with light kisses on his chest, caresses on his shoulders and back, and when he dragged his teeth lightly over Draco's favourite spot on his neck, Draco moaned. "Do you intend to tease like this all night?"
"No." Potter's voice was low and throaty, and it made Draco's cock twitch in anticipation of that voice in his ear, so close he could feel Potter's harsh breathing. He reached up and undid the buttons of his own shirt, discarding it on the floor as if it were no more than an old rag. The trousers came off a bit more carefully, as did socks and underpants, Potter stealing kisses between steps. Draco could hear his heart hammering in his ears. How the fuck was he supposed to get through tonight, let alone through any day after this? "We've fucked before, but tonight's different. New lessons." He spun Draco and laid him on the bed, kneeling over him. "Right?"
"Right." For a terrifying moment, Draco had been certain Potter was going to use the phrase "make love", and he didn't think he could handle that. It screamed Hufflepuff, ridiculous sentimental words that only dressed up the act they'd already been practising, but it also hinted at something that made Draco feel raw inside. He reached up, cupping his hand behind Potter's neck, and pulled him down roughly. "Romance doesn't have to mean delicate and gentle," he whispered.
"Noted." Potter grinned widely, a bit of that enthusiasm he'd shown in their first two lessons shining through once more. He tumbled down next to Draco and bit at his collarbone. Draco squeezed his eyes shut and reached for Potter's nude body. If he could lose himself in the sensations, perhaps he could ignore the tumultuous thoughts in his brain, even just for a few minutes.
Draco didn't open his eyes again until Potter nibbled at his inner thigh. When he did, he saw that the few candles he'd set at the bedside had multiplied threefold, all of them lit. "I swear to Merlin, Potter, if you have a rose stashed anywhere..."
Potter laughed softly from between Draco's legs. "No roses. No flowers at all. No chocolates, even. I didn't figure you'd appreciate what you probably consider Hufflepuff-ish gestures. You're not that kind of person, are you, Draco?"
Draco held Potter's gaze. "No." It was so hard to keep it up without having to be the one to look away. "Though if you ever do have quality chocolates lying around, don't be afraid to share. Just because I don't need heart-shaped boxes of sweets doesn't mean I don't enjoy the finer things in life now and then."
"Spoiled prat."
"Is that any way to talk to the person you're trying to romance?" Draco tutted at him, the mocking cut short when Potter took one of his balls gently into his mouth and sucked. "Scratch that. Don't talk. Just do that."
Potter had a ridiculously talented mouth, Draco had recently found, second only to talented, nimble fingers and a firm grip. And when he used that mouth, first to tongue and mouth Draco's bollocks, and then to take Draco's erection into it and suck as if he needed it for life support, it was almost enough to drown out any doubts and fears Draco had. "I fucking love hearing those noises," Potter murmured, pulling away as Draco came close to coming down his throat. "Only one thing would be better right now."
Draco squirmed, breathing hard. "What's that?"
"Being in you."
"Then let's do it." He didn't need words right now. He needed touch and sensation so overwhelming it made it impossible to think. And he knew from experience that a good fucking from the boy in front of him would do that.
He scooted down towards the edge of the bed and made to flip over, same as they'd done before, but Potter stopped him. "Not like that. Not this time. This time, I want to see your face when you come. And I want your hands on me just as much as mine are on you." He moved towards the middle of the bed, erection bobbing as he laid back on the blankets. "Come here."
Draco swallowed with a throat that seemed too tight. "This is how you want to do this?"
"Yes." Potter reached for the lube on the bedside table and slicked it over his cock. He no longer used that bottle of Muggle lube, having bought the one Draco recommended during their second week of lessons. "And no more of this 'Potter' and 'Malfoy' thing tonight. You know how I feel about that when we're doing such intimate things." He grabbed Draco by the wrist and pulled him down for another kiss, sucking lightly on the tip of Draco's tongue before pulling away. "Please."
Draco nodded. He didn't trust his voice any more.
Straddling him carefully, Draco lowered himself onto Harry's cock and pressed his hands against Harry's chest. "Not like that," Harry said, shaking his head. He slid Draco's hands down and sat up so that their torsos were nearly pressed together, rubbing Draco's cock between them. He dipped his head and kissed a spot on Draco's collarbone. "Like this."
The only way for them to really do this had them wrapped in each other's arms, and oh, it hurt to read into this. Draco placed his hands on Harry's shoulder blades lightly, feeling the angle of Potter's cock shift inside him. "Better?"
"Much," Harry whispered, candlelight flickering in his eyes. He gripped Draco's arse and pulled himself even deeper, and Draco sighed raggedly. But when he shifted again and pressed his mouth lightly against Draco's before beginning to rock in a steady, slow rhythm, Draco could only squeeze his eyes shut and let it happen.
For the first time out of all those when Draco had bottomed for their lessons, Harry seemed to be consumed with that desire that had burnt Draco from the inside out their first time, that drive to touch and feel and taste every bit of the other boy, not allowing the concept of separate space and bodies to exist. Something in his chest snapped, and it took much of his willpower to keep desperate tears held inside. They weren't tears of pain or sorrow as much as those of being completely overwhelmed, feeling Harry inside him, moving in a new way, or the feeling of Harry's tongue on his, the taste of him filling Draco's head, or the bite of his fingertips on Draco's hips. All those things together were nearly too much.
And Draco knew that no matter how badly he wanted to believe otherwise, he couldn't do this again. Not if he wanted to get out of this even somewhat intact.
~0~
They moved together, joined in the act of sex, for longer than Draco could measure. This was far from a quick fuck, or even a spirited bit of release. Every touch, every kiss, every moan, every sigh that Harry gave him was full of reverence, full of need that almost passed for something greater than the physical.
Draco felt like he was breaking from the inside out, splintering and bleeding and raw, but it was a pain he could live with, for the bit of ecstasy that came with it.
He came with a small, quiet cry, his release smearing on both their abdomens, and Harry came not long after, panting Draco's name in the still night, now lit only by guttering candles. Draco had a cramp in one thigh and hip, but he scarcely noticed. He tried to get up on his own, but Harry didn't relinquish his grip. Instead, he manoeuvred them both onto their sides, arms still tight around Draco's lower back. "No. Not this time."
"What do you mean, 'not this time'?" There was that frustration back in Harry's voice, and Draco still hadn't worked out what it meant. Hadn't they done what Harry wanted this time?
"You always run away after. And this time, I'm not allowing it. Stop fucking running, Draco. Unless you really want to. Do you?"
Draco's voice caught in his throat. Harry was staring at him intently, arms still wrapped around his back. He couldn't answer. Not that he had words to do so.
"Did that honestly mean nothing to you? Was that just a little lesson, some wisdom to impart before sending me on my way? I know that's what we agreed upon, but I can't follow those rules any more."
This time, Draco did find his voice. "What?"
"I told you last night, Draco. I wanted to learn how to keep someone, and not just because of sex. I'm tired of this game. That's why I wanted to try romance. I want to keep you. And if I can't have you, I can accept that, but you have to bloody say so. Because I can't do this any more. I don't know how you can."
Draco just stared for a moment, taking in the way the last of the flames danced behind Harry's head, lighting the ends of his hair and giving him a halo of sorts, finally realising what the clenched jaw and irritation had all been about. "I can't. Merlin, I've been thick about this, haven't I? That's why you've been short with me. You... actually wanted me, and thought I was... I was..."
Harry slid one of his hands up Draco's back and neck, threading his fingers through his hair. "I actually wanted you."
Draco felt that pain in his chest and stomach dissolve. He felt like he might break again but, somehow, that no longer seemed like a bad thing. "I think," he said slowly, placing a kiss on Harry's shoulder, "that it's about time we rewrote this course."
Harry smiled, visible even in the dark room. "Sounds like the best lesson plan yet."
Draco laughed softly. "I think we might still have things to teach one another." He kissed Harry again, inhaling the scent and heat of him until he thought he might explode. But that was okay, too, he thought. He was still learning.
They both were.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Beta: groolover
Rating: NC-17
Era: ‘8th year’
Word Count: ~3200
Warning(s)/Contains: sex between the boys, oral, dirty talk, bottoming from the top, a bit of jealousy (and bottom!Draco, if you're concerned with that kind of thing). Definite flangst, but mostly a whole lot of smut.
Summary: Draco wants to carry on being Harry's sex instructor forever... but has Harry had enough?
Author's Notes: This is the fourth part of the Private Lessons series, which began a year ago as a birthday gift for leo_draconis . It was meant to be a brief little pwp, but it sort of bloomed with a plot, so here we are. The series began with The Importance of Fashion Accessories and continued with both Private Lessons and Accelerated Programme.
It had been three weeks since he had started this little dalliance with Potter, and Draco knew that his time was almost up.
Potter hadn't said anything about an end to their lessons, and Draco wasn't stupid enough to do so himself. Or perhaps the problem was that Draco was actually too stupid to end them on his own. Whatever the issue, it had become apparent that Potter was increasingly irritated the longer they went on, and always, in the back of Draco's mind, was the worry that this was the last one.
They'd had another lesson the night before, and Draco had woken in his bed to find Potter at the window, his forehead pressed against the chilled glass. He could only see his roommate's back, but his posture spoke volumes. "Potter?" He whispered it, afraid to disturb the dark silence. "Something wrong?"
"No."
It was a lie, clearly, but Potter's answer was so firm and forceful that Draco knew no amount of prodding was going to get him a different answer. "Then go back to sleep. It'll be morning soon."
Potter had thrown him an indescribable look, then turned towards his own bed. He'd walked over and sat heavily on the mattress. Draco could feel the tension in the room, but before he could open his mouth to try to say something that might alleviate it, Potter had sighed and flopped down face-first, muttering something into his pillow. Eventually, his breathing evened and slowed.
Draco, however, did not sleep the rest of the night.
When Draco came in from dinner the following evening, Potter was sitting on his bed, hands clenched in his lap. He looked up as Draco closed the door behind him. "Malfoy."
Draco swallowed hard. Potter's voice was calm and even, but Draco didn't trust it. "I didn't see you at dinner."
"Wasn't hungry."
"Not even for treacle tart?"
Potter looked at him unblinkingly. "No. Not tonight. Look, I wanted to talk to you. You know these lessons you've been giving me?"
As if there was any way for Draco to forget. There had been six so far. "Of course." He tried to appear as loose and casual as possible, as if Potter's words had not just caused his breathing to restrict and his pulse to race.
"I don't think I need those any more."
Draco felt his stomach drop. "Oh?"
"Don't get me wrong. I appreciate them. You've taught me a lot - things I'd never even thought of, even. It's just..." He sighed. "I understand how seduction lessons are helpful, really, in addition to learning the techniques you taught. It's just that..."
"What, Potter? Spit it out."
"I want something else. Seduction is well and good, but I don't think that will get me what I want."
"And what is it you want?" He would not let Potter hear his voice crack. He would not.
"I want to get and keep someone." He sighed again. "Think you could teach me the basics of romance?"
Draco blinked as something loosened within his chest just a fraction, then twisted. "You want lessons in romance?"
Potter blushed furiously. "Yeah. I was sort of busy with that whole fighting-evil-wizards thing for a while. It sort of put a limit on my dating experience. Vanquishing Dark Wizards, I can do. Dating... not really."
Draco allowed himself a grin, though he felt a bit sick. If Potter was thinking about romance, wanting to attract someone and keep them, then he likely had someone in mind, or at least wanted to start the search. "I think I could help, yes."
"Good." Potter stood. "I'm going to go and visit the house-elves and see about something to eat. Thanks, Malfoy. Let me know if tomorrow night works for you. And if it doesn't, let me know when would."
"Tomorrow's fine."
With a small smile and a nod, Potter left their room, taking his Invisibility Cloak with him. When Draco was certain he was gone, he let out a shaky sigh. Could he actually do this?
~0~
Draco was waiting for Potter the next evening, standing at the window and trying not to be sick. He had come to the conclusion in the wee hours of the morning that he had three options in this matter. First, he could simply go back on his word and tell Potter he couldn't give him lessons in romance after all. Second, he could steel himself and do as agreed. Third... he could engage in a bit of sabotage. After a good deal of wrestling with himself, he stuck with the second option.
And he hated himself for it.
"Wow, Malfoy," Potter said with a low whistle, and Draco nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn't heard the door. "Looks like you've definitely thought this lesson through."
Draco turned away from the window and his breath caught a little. Potter was wearing plain black trousers and a dark blue shirt. "You dressed up."
"Yeah, well. You do that on a date, right? And I never really feel comfortable in dress robes. I thought I might as well take this seriously. So, how do I look? Can I pull it off?"
Clearing his throat, Draco nodded. "Yes. You clean up surprisingly well."
Potter closed the space between them with sure, fluid movements. "You look nice as well."
Get a fucking grip on yourself, Draco told himself harshly. You're the instructor. He's the student. That's all. "Jumped right in to compliments, I see," he said, striving for encouraging and in control. "That often gets you in the door. But this isn't about securing a first date, is it? You saved the bloody world, Potter. Few are going to turn down a date with you. Romance is more than flirting. In fact, it does overlap with seduction a good deal." He swallowed and looked Potter directly in the eye. "Seduction is about that hot, sweet, thick feeling you get down to your core. Romance is similar. Just warm and light and dizzying, and centred a bit... well, higher."
Potter snorted. "I suppose that makes sense. Teach me, then. What's the first lesson?"
"Look, Potter, I could list it in stages, but that's pointless. It's about feeling, isn't it? In seduction, you do the things that make the other person feel something for you. Romance is the same. It's touches and tone and the right words and gestures both grand and small. It's attending to the heart, as you'd attend to the body. Create a mood and sustain it. Let the other person know they're valued."
"Valued," Potter murmured, a hint of something else underneath the considering tone. "I think I can manage that."
"Then let's see it."
Potter smiled at him softly. "Right." He moved even closer, maintaining eye contact, and Draco thought that if he let himself, he could get lost in that intense look forever. He wouldn't let that happen. He had to be careful. "You really do look nice tonight," Potter whispered, reaching out to take one of Draco's hands in his. He still hadn't dropped his gaze. Draco sighed softly, and then Potter's lips brushed his cheekbone.
It hit Draco, then, that this was a supremely stupid idea. When this had been about sex, it had still been something he could delude himself about. He could pretend it was about scratching an itch, feeling a bit of physical satiation and getting his sexual needs met in a convenient way. But even kisses done in that context had nearly undone him some nights, Potter's lips lingering longer than they needed to, fingers trailing their way up hot, sweaty skin that shivered under their touch. But fuck, if Potter was going to actually put a concerted effort into this... He might just break Draco completely. He didn't think he could stand it. But what was worse was the sneaking suspicion that he simply couldn't turn away from this one last opportunity to pretend.
He let himself be led across the room by the hand, Potter kissing him slowly, leisurely, until the line of the mattress was pressed against the back of Draco's thighs. Potter reached up and pushed a bit of Draco's fringe from his forehead. "Do you have any idea what you look like right now?" he asked softly. "Fucking amazing."
Draco brushed Potter's hand away. "Easy there. No need to lay it on that thick all at once." Still, he couldn't help that warm, swelling feeling in his chest.
Potter's jaw flexed as if he'd clenched his teeth together. "If you say so. Come here, then." He climbed onto the bed and tugged so that Draco followed. "Here."
After only a moment of hesitation, Draco stood, pressed up against Potter, who was on his knees atop the mattress. He let Potter undo his robes slowly, wondering if everything was truly slowed down in pace this evening, or if it only seemed that way, his mind's perception of this exquisite torture altered and dragged out. Potter teased him with light kisses on his chest, caresses on his shoulders and back, and when he dragged his teeth lightly over Draco's favourite spot on his neck, Draco moaned. "Do you intend to tease like this all night?"
"No." Potter's voice was low and throaty, and it made Draco's cock twitch in anticipation of that voice in his ear, so close he could feel Potter's harsh breathing. He reached up and undid the buttons of his own shirt, discarding it on the floor as if it were no more than an old rag. The trousers came off a bit more carefully, as did socks and underpants, Potter stealing kisses between steps. Draco could hear his heart hammering in his ears. How the fuck was he supposed to get through tonight, let alone through any day after this? "We've fucked before, but tonight's different. New lessons." He spun Draco and laid him on the bed, kneeling over him. "Right?"
"Right." For a terrifying moment, Draco had been certain Potter was going to use the phrase "make love", and he didn't think he could handle that. It screamed Hufflepuff, ridiculous sentimental words that only dressed up the act they'd already been practising, but it also hinted at something that made Draco feel raw inside. He reached up, cupping his hand behind Potter's neck, and pulled him down roughly. "Romance doesn't have to mean delicate and gentle," he whispered.
"Noted." Potter grinned widely, a bit of that enthusiasm he'd shown in their first two lessons shining through once more. He tumbled down next to Draco and bit at his collarbone. Draco squeezed his eyes shut and reached for Potter's nude body. If he could lose himself in the sensations, perhaps he could ignore the tumultuous thoughts in his brain, even just for a few minutes.
Draco didn't open his eyes again until Potter nibbled at his inner thigh. When he did, he saw that the few candles he'd set at the bedside had multiplied threefold, all of them lit. "I swear to Merlin, Potter, if you have a rose stashed anywhere..."
Potter laughed softly from between Draco's legs. "No roses. No flowers at all. No chocolates, even. I didn't figure you'd appreciate what you probably consider Hufflepuff-ish gestures. You're not that kind of person, are you, Draco?"
Draco held Potter's gaze. "No." It was so hard to keep it up without having to be the one to look away. "Though if you ever do have quality chocolates lying around, don't be afraid to share. Just because I don't need heart-shaped boxes of sweets doesn't mean I don't enjoy the finer things in life now and then."
"Spoiled prat."
"Is that any way to talk to the person you're trying to romance?" Draco tutted at him, the mocking cut short when Potter took one of his balls gently into his mouth and sucked. "Scratch that. Don't talk. Just do that."
Potter had a ridiculously talented mouth, Draco had recently found, second only to talented, nimble fingers and a firm grip. And when he used that mouth, first to tongue and mouth Draco's bollocks, and then to take Draco's erection into it and suck as if he needed it for life support, it was almost enough to drown out any doubts and fears Draco had. "I fucking love hearing those noises," Potter murmured, pulling away as Draco came close to coming down his throat. "Only one thing would be better right now."
Draco squirmed, breathing hard. "What's that?"
"Being in you."
"Then let's do it." He didn't need words right now. He needed touch and sensation so overwhelming it made it impossible to think. And he knew from experience that a good fucking from the boy in front of him would do that.
He scooted down towards the edge of the bed and made to flip over, same as they'd done before, but Potter stopped him. "Not like that. Not this time. This time, I want to see your face when you come. And I want your hands on me just as much as mine are on you." He moved towards the middle of the bed, erection bobbing as he laid back on the blankets. "Come here."
Draco swallowed with a throat that seemed too tight. "This is how you want to do this?"
"Yes." Potter reached for the lube on the bedside table and slicked it over his cock. He no longer used that bottle of Muggle lube, having bought the one Draco recommended during their second week of lessons. "And no more of this 'Potter' and 'Malfoy' thing tonight. You know how I feel about that when we're doing such intimate things." He grabbed Draco by the wrist and pulled him down for another kiss, sucking lightly on the tip of Draco's tongue before pulling away. "Please."
Draco nodded. He didn't trust his voice any more.
Straddling him carefully, Draco lowered himself onto Harry's cock and pressed his hands against Harry's chest. "Not like that," Harry said, shaking his head. He slid Draco's hands down and sat up so that their torsos were nearly pressed together, rubbing Draco's cock between them. He dipped his head and kissed a spot on Draco's collarbone. "Like this."
The only way for them to really do this had them wrapped in each other's arms, and oh, it hurt to read into this. Draco placed his hands on Harry's shoulder blades lightly, feeling the angle of Potter's cock shift inside him. "Better?"
"Much," Harry whispered, candlelight flickering in his eyes. He gripped Draco's arse and pulled himself even deeper, and Draco sighed raggedly. But when he shifted again and pressed his mouth lightly against Draco's before beginning to rock in a steady, slow rhythm, Draco could only squeeze his eyes shut and let it happen.
For the first time out of all those when Draco had bottomed for their lessons, Harry seemed to be consumed with that desire that had burnt Draco from the inside out their first time, that drive to touch and feel and taste every bit of the other boy, not allowing the concept of separate space and bodies to exist. Something in his chest snapped, and it took much of his willpower to keep desperate tears held inside. They weren't tears of pain or sorrow as much as those of being completely overwhelmed, feeling Harry inside him, moving in a new way, or the feeling of Harry's tongue on his, the taste of him filling Draco's head, or the bite of his fingertips on Draco's hips. All those things together were nearly too much.
And Draco knew that no matter how badly he wanted to believe otherwise, he couldn't do this again. Not if he wanted to get out of this even somewhat intact.
~0~
They moved together, joined in the act of sex, for longer than Draco could measure. This was far from a quick fuck, or even a spirited bit of release. Every touch, every kiss, every moan, every sigh that Harry gave him was full of reverence, full of need that almost passed for something greater than the physical.
Draco felt like he was breaking from the inside out, splintering and bleeding and raw, but it was a pain he could live with, for the bit of ecstasy that came with it.
He came with a small, quiet cry, his release smearing on both their abdomens, and Harry came not long after, panting Draco's name in the still night, now lit only by guttering candles. Draco had a cramp in one thigh and hip, but he scarcely noticed. He tried to get up on his own, but Harry didn't relinquish his grip. Instead, he manoeuvred them both onto their sides, arms still tight around Draco's lower back. "No. Not this time."
"What do you mean, 'not this time'?" There was that frustration back in Harry's voice, and Draco still hadn't worked out what it meant. Hadn't they done what Harry wanted this time?
"You always run away after. And this time, I'm not allowing it. Stop fucking running, Draco. Unless you really want to. Do you?"
Draco's voice caught in his throat. Harry was staring at him intently, arms still wrapped around his back. He couldn't answer. Not that he had words to do so.
"Did that honestly mean nothing to you? Was that just a little lesson, some wisdom to impart before sending me on my way? I know that's what we agreed upon, but I can't follow those rules any more."
This time, Draco did find his voice. "What?"
"I told you last night, Draco. I wanted to learn how to keep someone, and not just because of sex. I'm tired of this game. That's why I wanted to try romance. I want to keep you. And if I can't have you, I can accept that, but you have to bloody say so. Because I can't do this any more. I don't know how you can."
Draco just stared for a moment, taking in the way the last of the flames danced behind Harry's head, lighting the ends of his hair and giving him a halo of sorts, finally realising what the clenched jaw and irritation had all been about. "I can't. Merlin, I've been thick about this, haven't I? That's why you've been short with me. You... actually wanted me, and thought I was... I was..."
Harry slid one of his hands up Draco's back and neck, threading his fingers through his hair. "I actually wanted you."
Draco felt that pain in his chest and stomach dissolve. He felt like he might break again but, somehow, that no longer seemed like a bad thing. "I think," he said slowly, placing a kiss on Harry's shoulder, "that it's about time we rewrote this course."
Harry smiled, visible even in the dark room. "Sounds like the best lesson plan yet."
Draco laughed softly. "I think we might still have things to teach one another." He kissed Harry again, inhaling the scent and heat of him until he thought he might explode. But that was okay, too, he thought. He was still learning.
They both were.