don't know
so.. i may or may not keep this journal.. i need to stop trailing off and just use what i have.. it's like i have this compulsion to start something new at different intervals of my life... i swear i have about a dozen journals used for different things. some of them have no friends added what so ever. it's just there for me to get things out.. it works for the time and then i abandon it.
i'm glad i came to a conclusion the other day..
i feel like i've been a coward in my not so distant past - instead of coming to terms with how things were and treating them as so - i played little games to make sure my friendships/relationships would not last - because inside i knew that they needed to end because they were no longer benefiting no one - so instead of just coming to terms with that - i created a huge fight and then everyone went their seperate ways. so things DID end up the way they needed to but i wasn't the one that said "come on guys, this isn't working anymore.. i wish you well and the best and hope you have a good life, cya." i, of course, don't think i realized at that time that that's how things were anyway.. that's a more recent conclusion - it came out of a conversation with a friend.
i guess everything changes the way it's supposed to.. why fight it? i fight everything.. sometimes it's best to let nature take it's course... i dunno.
i'm glad i came to a conclusion the other day..
i feel like i've been a coward in my not so distant past - instead of coming to terms with how things were and treating them as so - i played little games to make sure my friendships/relationships would not last - because inside i knew that they needed to end because they were no longer benefiting no one - so instead of just coming to terms with that - i created a huge fight and then everyone went their seperate ways. so things DID end up the way they needed to but i wasn't the one that said "come on guys, this isn't working anymore.. i wish you well and the best and hope you have a good life, cya." i, of course, don't think i realized at that time that that's how things were anyway.. that's a more recent conclusion - it came out of a conversation with a friend.
i guess everything changes the way it's supposed to.. why fight it? i fight everything.. sometimes it's best to let nature take it's course... i dunno.