anxious future self
...we (scott,melinda,and i) are moving into a townhome at the end of this month off of wendover ave. i'm more than nervous about this move.. it's completely out of my safety net.. i'll be away from the things that i love.. those being people i care about and tate st. now, i'll have to be extra careful with how much i drink when i go to NYP - because i'll be driving home afterwards.. so maybe drink early on.. then drink water afterwards - or in general don't drink and drive.. which is something i feel very strong about.
i love the tate st. area - and honestly, if i had the finances - i would stay here... but i don't. what else do i say.. i'm just feeling awkward about the changes my life are taking.. and where i'll end up.
part of my book is going to focus on psychiatric medication - who needs it, who doesn't.. if i need it or if i don't.. part of that will include me weening my way off of the drugs - and trying to cope with my emotions through talk therapy and mental/physical work on my part. we'll see where i end up. maybe i need the meds and maybe i don't. it's been so long since i've been off of meds that i'm not sure where they end and i begin.
i plan on having my debts paid and living back in this area in 2 years. by then, i hope that i'm well on my feet. i know what i have to do to succeed - and now i just have to get over the fear of being successful.. because right now i have nothing to lose by trying to be the best that i can be.. (no army jokes please). i.. just have to change - i have to be someone that i know i am but have been too affraid to be. right now, i'm on the bottom - and i can see the top clearly and i can see all the little places inbetween.. and no it doesn't all look that good - but they're just mild disturbances which i can easily recover. i think, i know, i can do this.
"have a little faith in me - have a little faith in me"
i love the tate st. area - and honestly, if i had the finances - i would stay here... but i don't. what else do i say.. i'm just feeling awkward about the changes my life are taking.. and where i'll end up.
part of my book is going to focus on psychiatric medication - who needs it, who doesn't.. if i need it or if i don't.. part of that will include me weening my way off of the drugs - and trying to cope with my emotions through talk therapy and mental/physical work on my part. we'll see where i end up. maybe i need the meds and maybe i don't. it's been so long since i've been off of meds that i'm not sure where they end and i begin.
i plan on having my debts paid and living back in this area in 2 years. by then, i hope that i'm well on my feet. i know what i have to do to succeed - and now i just have to get over the fear of being successful.. because right now i have nothing to lose by trying to be the best that i can be.. (no army jokes please). i.. just have to change - i have to be someone that i know i am but have been too affraid to be. right now, i'm on the bottom - and i can see the top clearly and i can see all the little places inbetween.. and no it doesn't all look that good - but they're just mild disturbances which i can easily recover. i think, i know, i can do this.
"have a little faith in me - have a little faith in me"