Sitting at Flying Star Café
I woke up today feeling good, my nephew Jacob and niece Abbie stayed the night and I got up at 6:15 to start the "wake up the kids for school" process. Erin had a rough day yesterday and today is my last day of school before spring break, so what the hell, why not. I dropped off Abbie and took myself to my Photoshop class.
Class ended early and I got home ready to drink my first coffee cup of the day. When I got there, things were good for a minute, but then my wife started spewing negativity all over the place. I realized it was because she is overwhelmed and ask her to cool it on the negative banter, she didn't like it. I felt like I was pretty nice about it before she looked at me as if I had accosted her, in NOT a good way. I suppose I've been pretty loaded with Midterms and haven't picked up after myself as much recently, but for her to tell me in such disdain was not acceptable to me. I left to the café. I could hear her screaming after me for about half-a-block when I left, she didn't want me to leave the premises, but I couldn't deal. Not today.
it is drizzling snow outside, and this latté is my treat for doing my tests for this midterm. Right at this moment I don't care that she was overwhelmed...all I wanted was a quiet moment to enjoy my morning ritual and have people around me to be excited that I had come home to be with them. To enjoy my excitement of the successful completion of school this far into it. I am fully drained from school, leather commitments, and family emotions at this juncture. I CANNOT DO IT TODAY!!!! It's supposed to be my fucking day off!!!
Most of the time I love my life, I live in an understanding, loving world, but I recognize patterns in my relationship with Erin that are VERY accurate. She is starting to act out...this always frightens me.
Now, back to my peaceful cup of coffee...my moment of silence in my small day of chaos.