ok
Now I've changed my name and erased my AIM name, so hopefully it's a little more difficult to find.
I've been thinking about Michelle, my ex from PA. I like her, I love her in some ways. She's not who I see myself with for the long haul. But she cares about me so much, no matter what. And that's what I need and want. I mean maybe I should just be with her. Some might think it's "settling" for her. I don't know if that's the case. But now that I look at what I wrote, I realize that if she and I did get back together, and were together, and she knw that I feel this way, she'd be hurt. So maybe that's my answer right there.
And I realized that I can't say anything to Dena about whether I'm moving until I make a definite decision. Last time I even mentioned it, she flipped out, got really harsh, told me I had to give her 2 months notice, and Jesus, Justin, you can't tell me this shit a week before my finals. I can't deal with any added stress. I don't know whether we make good roommates, because she's so hard to read, always dead-pan, and I always feel like I'm in trouble with her, that I've done something wrong and I can't figure out what it is. I ask her a million times a day if somethings wrong, because she's never enthusiastic, and so I freak out and think I've done something wrong, and then my already sky-scraping anxiety level increases by a factor of 10.
I'm going to go make dinner. I want to paint too.
I've been thinking about Michelle, my ex from PA. I like her, I love her in some ways. She's not who I see myself with for the long haul. But she cares about me so much, no matter what. And that's what I need and want. I mean maybe I should just be with her. Some might think it's "settling" for her. I don't know if that's the case. But now that I look at what I wrote, I realize that if she and I did get back together, and were together, and she knw that I feel this way, she'd be hurt. So maybe that's my answer right there.
And I realized that I can't say anything to Dena about whether I'm moving until I make a definite decision. Last time I even mentioned it, she flipped out, got really harsh, told me I had to give her 2 months notice, and Jesus, Justin, you can't tell me this shit a week before my finals. I can't deal with any added stress. I don't know whether we make good roommates, because she's so hard to read, always dead-pan, and I always feel like I'm in trouble with her, that I've done something wrong and I can't figure out what it is. I ask her a million times a day if somethings wrong, because she's never enthusiastic, and so I freak out and think I've done something wrong, and then my already sky-scraping anxiety level increases by a factor of 10.
I'm going to go make dinner. I want to paint too.