holy ______
Ok. It's 8:15 AM. As we all know, I have gotten NO hours at FM Enterprises, and so they referenced me to this other screen printing place. I was supposed to start there this morning, at 8 am, but I got lost, had to come home to call them for directions, and then was told they were too slow and try tomorrow. GREAT. Meanwhile I'm picking up a few hours here and there at the flower shop. SO. Anyway...
Last night I had a dream I met God. I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to die. But it was crazy. In the dream, (which I am remembering less and less of over the course of the morning) I got there, and went into some building, but I think that maybe the building was a facade on the outside and inside I had to go down (not like to hell) a floor or something. I met with God, who was a man in his 50s or 60s, wearing beat up white sneakers and darkish, beat up slacks, and a long sleeve shirt. He dressed kind of like Jeff Starr, my roommmate from college. I talked to him for a while, and I can't remember about what, but I remember seeing his choir singing, and they were in this rectangular glass room, with glass walls on every side. I think there was some kind of lock on the door too, but I can't imagine what they were being protected from that there needed to be a lock. I asked God a bunch of things, and I can't remember much of what it was, but I do remember asking God "This is it, isn't it, the end of the world, or the end of civilization, humans ruined it." God said back "Everything experiences spurts of growth before it dies," which I interpreted to mean that civilization might turn around a little before all was said and done, but I mean there could be a million interpretations of that sentence. I also asked him "is- oh, nevermind, you probably won't tell me anyway, I'll have to wait and see" to which he said "go ahead" (even though maybe he knew the question already "I wanted to know if reincarnation is real" and he just matter-of-factly said "oh of course," and talked about it for a minute and talked about two books I should read, but I can't remember their names...I think one was Mary or Mana or some M word. I remember in the dream we went for a walk, and outside it was sort of just dilapidated urban sprawl, a street with potholes and powerlines crossing it every which way, and buildings that needed to be painted, and weeds shooting up between the chunks of pavement that had been torn apart by weather years ago. On our return, I remember seeing a cat in the parking lot of the building we'd come from, and thinking "Oh, there's smoke" (in my dream, this cat was my spiritual guide in life, and I was like) and then thinking "I should bring him in with me because here I am getting to talk to God and he's just waiting patiently in the parking lot" so I brought him inside. God just said "There's Smoke," or something, acknowledging his existance but not really talking to him or anything, which I thought strange because even though he's a cat, I thought he was a spirit in the form of a cat, so that he and God should have been chatting it up or whatever...but nope. I also asked God something about what it's like to know everything ever, and I don't remember his answer but I think he seemed mildy irritated by the question, maybe because I wasn't using my time with him wisely. Anyway, I wish I could remember more of the dream, but I had to get up and go straight to work, instead of having time to write it all down. But I remember waking up and thinking how the dream had been SOOOOOO Long and so clear. I thought that it really was reality, it seemed so real and such a long time.
While I'm here...Dena (the roommate) left to go to the city yesterday...I drove her to the train station (even though it's only a few blocks, but it was cold) and she took the transit train into the city, she stayed there for the night, and she's leaving today for France. I have the apartment all to my self for the next 10 days. Yay.
I didn't have any work Monday or Tuesday. Yesterday I worked for the florist for the afternoon, which won't amount to much $$. I also am moving some stuff for him next week, and he's giving me a computer for free cuz it's a mac that he doesn't want. But I don't know about making rent. My mom paid all my rent last month so I could stay in PA and not have to come back here just to mail a rent check, but now I owe her rent...minus $100 and something, that she's givin me...I have $200 towards rent in my rent account, but I think maybe I'll see if she'll let me save that towards rent for this month. It's awful.
Josh is waiting for me to mail him some designs. He and I are trying to do custom designs for modified cars for people...the "fast and the furious" type shit. It'd be good money if we get things going...we were even thinking of moving to Tampa, FL to see about it. I only have one drawing done but he thinks I have a lot more. He also said he's applying for a job at FM Ent. He said there was an ad in the fucking paper! They tell me they're too strapped to give me hours and then advertise. Fuck this.
I talked to Sandra (a girl from myspace.com that I met when I first moved here, and then we sorta lost touch) over e-mail yesterday...she found out she has MS about 6 months ago, and is getting this experimental treatment, which apparently is going well. She's a recruiter at Johnson and Johnson...maybe she can get me a job!!
And Becky and I haven't chilled much this week. We talk on the phone a little here and there...I mean we're not stopping hangin out or anything, but we're just not as driven to as we had been. Or maybe I'm just not as inspired to hang out with her.
Off to do drawings.
Last night I had a dream I met God. I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to die. But it was crazy. In the dream, (which I am remembering less and less of over the course of the morning) I got there, and went into some building, but I think that maybe the building was a facade on the outside and inside I had to go down (not like to hell) a floor or something. I met with God, who was a man in his 50s or 60s, wearing beat up white sneakers and darkish, beat up slacks, and a long sleeve shirt. He dressed kind of like Jeff Starr, my roommmate from college. I talked to him for a while, and I can't remember about what, but I remember seeing his choir singing, and they were in this rectangular glass room, with glass walls on every side. I think there was some kind of lock on the door too, but I can't imagine what they were being protected from that there needed to be a lock. I asked God a bunch of things, and I can't remember much of what it was, but I do remember asking God "This is it, isn't it, the end of the world, or the end of civilization, humans ruined it." God said back "Everything experiences spurts of growth before it dies," which I interpreted to mean that civilization might turn around a little before all was said and done, but I mean there could be a million interpretations of that sentence. I also asked him "is- oh, nevermind, you probably won't tell me anyway, I'll have to wait and see" to which he said "go ahead" (even though maybe he knew the question already "I wanted to know if reincarnation is real" and he just matter-of-factly said "oh of course," and talked about it for a minute and talked about two books I should read, but I can't remember their names...I think one was Mary or Mana or some M word. I remember in the dream we went for a walk, and outside it was sort of just dilapidated urban sprawl, a street with potholes and powerlines crossing it every which way, and buildings that needed to be painted, and weeds shooting up between the chunks of pavement that had been torn apart by weather years ago. On our return, I remember seeing a cat in the parking lot of the building we'd come from, and thinking "Oh, there's smoke" (in my dream, this cat was my spiritual guide in life, and I was like) and then thinking "I should bring him in with me because here I am getting to talk to God and he's just waiting patiently in the parking lot" so I brought him inside. God just said "There's Smoke," or something, acknowledging his existance but not really talking to him or anything, which I thought strange because even though he's a cat, I thought he was a spirit in the form of a cat, so that he and God should have been chatting it up or whatever...but nope. I also asked God something about what it's like to know everything ever, and I don't remember his answer but I think he seemed mildy irritated by the question, maybe because I wasn't using my time with him wisely. Anyway, I wish I could remember more of the dream, but I had to get up and go straight to work, instead of having time to write it all down. But I remember waking up and thinking how the dream had been SOOOOOO Long and so clear. I thought that it really was reality, it seemed so real and such a long time.
While I'm here...Dena (the roommate) left to go to the city yesterday...I drove her to the train station (even though it's only a few blocks, but it was cold) and she took the transit train into the city, she stayed there for the night, and she's leaving today for France. I have the apartment all to my self for the next 10 days. Yay.
I didn't have any work Monday or Tuesday. Yesterday I worked for the florist for the afternoon, which won't amount to much $$. I also am moving some stuff for him next week, and he's giving me a computer for free cuz it's a mac that he doesn't want. But I don't know about making rent. My mom paid all my rent last month so I could stay in PA and not have to come back here just to mail a rent check, but now I owe her rent...minus $100 and something, that she's givin me...I have $200 towards rent in my rent account, but I think maybe I'll see if she'll let me save that towards rent for this month. It's awful.
Josh is waiting for me to mail him some designs. He and I are trying to do custom designs for modified cars for people...the "fast and the furious" type shit. It'd be good money if we get things going...we were even thinking of moving to Tampa, FL to see about it. I only have one drawing done but he thinks I have a lot more. He also said he's applying for a job at FM Ent. He said there was an ad in the fucking paper! They tell me they're too strapped to give me hours and then advertise. Fuck this.
I talked to Sandra (a girl from myspace.com that I met when I first moved here, and then we sorta lost touch) over e-mail yesterday...she found out she has MS about 6 months ago, and is getting this experimental treatment, which apparently is going well. She's a recruiter at Johnson and Johnson...maybe she can get me a job!!
And Becky and I haven't chilled much this week. We talk on the phone a little here and there...I mean we're not stopping hangin out or anything, but we're just not as driven to as we had been. Or maybe I'm just not as inspired to hang out with her.
Off to do drawings.